Opposite Naming Styles: Which do you choose?

What do you do when you’re torn between two (equally loved but completely opposite) naming styles?

For example, I love classic, vintage names. [name_f]Alice[/name_f], [name_f]Violet[/name_f], [name_f]Clara[/name_f], [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f], [name_f]Josephine[/name_f]; [name_m]Henry[/name_m], [name_m]Felix[/name_m], [name_m]Oliver[/name_m], [name_u]Theo[/name_u], [name_m]Atticus[/name_m]…you get it.

But I ALSO love more offbeat names. [name_f]Mira[/name_f], [name_f]Paloma[/name_f]; [name_m]Caspian[/name_m], [name_m]Silas[/name_m].

Does anyone else struggle with this dilemma? [name_m]How[/name_m] do you deal with it? [name_m]How[/name_m] do you CHOOSE?

[name_f]Do[/name_f] you try to match it with your surname? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you mix styles (classic first name, offbeat middle)?

Suggestions appreciated. :slight_smile:

I think most Berries have a mix of styles.

[name_f]My[/name_f] style is definitely a mishmash of old fashioned and uncommon names. I struggled with it for a bit, but I’ve came to compromise by using old fashioned names as first names and uncommon ones in the middle. Some I would like to use as a first, but [name_f]Xenia[/name_f] and [name_m]Alaric[/name_m] would stick out like a sore thumb in a sibling set of [name_u]James[/name_u], [name_m]Henry[/name_m], [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] and [name_f]Caroline[/name_f].

I’m not married so I don’t try to match with my surname. I have a uncommon surname(that doesn’t sound good with anything in my opinion) and I want to be married when I have children. Crossing my fingers that my future husbands surname sounds good with my favorites because I’m screwed if it doesn’t.

[name_f]My[/name_f] naming style is quite mixed, and I agree with ikfly, most Nameberries’ probably are as well. I tend to just use names I really love, regardless of whether they go together or not. Luckily, my absolute favourite names sound okay together (in my opinion), but I do have other names that would stick out. I love [name_m]Caspian[/name_m] as well, but I would be completely okay with putting it with vintage names. E.g. I’ve got [name_m]Caspian[/name_m], [name_f]Pandora[/name_f], [name_f]Beatrix[/name_f], and [name_m]Lorenzo[/name_m], within my fave names, and I think they work as a sibset (among other names), despite the differences in styles.

The only thing I try to avoid is putting really popular names with more unusual ones. I always think that I’d hate to have a really popular name that loads of people have, whilst my (hypothetical) siblings have more unusual names.

Seeing as I have no potential partner, I don’t match names to my surname, which is a Muslim surname, and does not work with any names I like. I’m hoping when I (hopefully) get married, my husband’s surname will be easier to work with. :slight_smile:

I don’t ‘match’ names to surnames (girls may not always keep the surname they were born with anyway) but I certainly avoid clashing.

I think that names that compliment each other nicely don’t necessarily need to be in the same ‘style’ category. For me, names, like fashion, are more interesting when there’s a bit of a mix, a bit of unexpected, and not to ‘matchy’.

Complimentary but not ‘matchy’ is my style :slight_smile:

I suppose there is such a thing as classic offbeat? Like [name_f]Cornelia[/name_f], [name_m]Crispin[/name_m], [name_m]Peregrine[/name_m], [name_f]Constance[/name_f]?

Personally, i dont think i have a naming style- i tend to like whatever is easy on the ears.

that said, baby #1, a boy, is on his way and not once did we try to come up with a name that matches our last name.

not sure if any of that was helpful?

Reviewing your classic vs. offbeat lists, I don’t think you should worry too much. They’re isn’t even one which is oddly mismatched in the butch and the names in the two lists can certainly be mixed. Most Berries have pretty eclectic tastes in names so you’re not alone in your dilemma. :slight_smile:

The only advice I would give you: choose a first name from the style that you’re MOST comfortable using (eg. if most of your names are classic, then choose them for first names). If you’re feeling bold, pick more unusual names for first names. If you go the more traditional route for firsts, the middle spot is the perfect place to pick something a little wilder or utilizing your more unusual choices (although I wouldn’t define any of your choices particularly “offbeat”.) Personally, I prefer vintage first names with quirky middle because I like names to have some depth and history. I think classic and traditional names age better and serve a child well through all stages of life. The flow between the first name and surname is MORE important than the mn and ln. If there is a great flow between all of the names, lucky for you! And lastly, always choose a name you [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] because you’ll be saying it - a lot! :slight_smile:

I really like the classic names.

I like a mix of names. When it comes to naming my child though I end up being more conservative. So out go the super cute that don’t age well, out go the ones that don’t have a nickname I like, unless I plan on using the full name all the time. I imagine myself calling my child. I don’t know what my child will become so I try to balance between a flexible name and something I like. So if my child is a teacher, lawyer or artist, the name would work. For instance, Cosima, a name I love is perfect for an artist, works ok for a teacher but is a little out there for a lawyer. In the end, if you pick a crazy name that your child decides they need a more conservative name then they can always change it themselves but I don’t think I’d like that much if my child someday changes their name because they didn’t like the one I gave them. I also consider teasing, so I crossed off Sidney (now a girls’ name), and Eileen (the song, which I like, but it is not something I want constantly sung to my daughter).

I’ve found that in general, the closer I get to having the child the more real it feels and my options naturally start to slim down and I contemplate holding my little baby and calling that name, or addressing my bump, or thinking about him/her in the various stages of life.

Some styles cross over pretty well, just because it’s a more eclectic name doesn’t mean it doesn’t go well with other names. From your examples I think any of those names could make a good sibset. If you’re naming children and not writing a book it doesn’t matter as much that they be super matchy, in fact I think doing that is overly cute. Once you have named one, your choices may limit further by style or by sound. As in, do they sound well when called out together?

Plus most people have to negotiate these choices with their SO, so that is limiting too.

[name_f]My[/name_f] style can be all over the place but I find that mixing them up makes for fun, unique new combinations. I always approach naming with the idea in mind that I’ll use the middle name as a nickname (or at least one of the nicknames) so that I wouldn’t have to see it sitting there in the middle all the time (unused except when filling out forms that ask for the full name.) I hate the idea of choosing a middle name that I like so much and never using it and I really enjoy coming up with new combinations even if others might think they’re unusual. I like it when sibling names match in some way or other though so when thinking of names I try to:

1-Make all the first names match one style and the middles match a different style (Something like Henry Ignatius, Oliver Augustus, Finn Cyrus and Charlie Lucius)

2-Make all the first and middle names revolve around two certain styles and interchange them accordingly, (Henry Cyrus, Augustus Oliver, Lucius Finn and Charlie Ignatius) or

3-Pick one style for the first names and go with something unique to each for the middle names (Henry Julian, Oliver Huckleberry, Finn Joseph, and Charlie Otis). This is the option I like least however, too scattered for my taste.

I would mix the two styles, for example:

[name_f]Alice Paloma[/name_f]
[name_f]Violet Paloma[/name_f]
[name_f]Mira Josephine[/name_f]
[name_f]Paloma Violet[/name_f]

[name_m]Henry Atticus[/name_m]
[name_m]Oliver Caspian[/name_m]
[name_m]Theo Henry[/name_m]
[name_m]Caspian Oliver[/name_m]
[name_m]Silas Henry[/name_m]

I, too, tend to be a mixer. I’m a sucker for one syllable middle names, but I also plan to give my children two middle names so the second middle usually ends up being one syllable. I enjoy traditional firsts with whimsical middles (and, admittedly, some filler middles for girls.) [name_f]My[/name_f] boys list tends to be far quirkier than my girls list, so that is where I struggle.

I’ll include some of my list as an example below.

[name_m]Fletcher[/name_m] [name_m]Gideon[/name_m] [name_m]Ace[/name_m]
[name_m]Beckett[/name_m] [name_m]Elijah[/name_m] [name_u]Tate[/name_u]
[name_u]Rowan[/name_u] [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] [name_u]West[/name_u]

[name_f]Eloise[/name_f] [name_f]Tatiana[/name_f] [name_f]May[/name_f]
[name_f]Jillian[/name_f] [name_f]Magnolia[/name_f] [name_f]Kate[/name_f]
[name_f]Annabel[/name_f] [name_f]Dorothea[/name_f] [name_f]Joy[/name_f]

I think your “offbeat” names are actually underused classics–so really, I think all your names go together wonderfully!

I think your style might be Eccentric Aristocrat – there’s a blog for that! https://nameberry.com/blog/cool-names-the-eccentric-aristocrats