other naming sites/articles: the most annoying thing ever

I’m guessing you guys, like me, read a lot of name articles.

I swear this happens every time in the comments. The article will either praise or criticize trendy, unique names, and almost immediately, the comment section is filled with multiple people yelling two possible responses:

Option 1: an offended response about how wonderful misspelled, unique names are, which will always include something along the lines of “maybe not all of us want our kid to be named [name_m]Adam[/name_m] or [name_f]Heather[/name_f] like every other kid on the playground!!”

Option 2: a holier-than-thou, sanctimommy-type response about how they prefer real, unique names. Like [name_f]Emma[/name_f] or [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] or [name_m]William[/name_m] or [name_u]Mason[/name_u]. And ugh with all these trendy, common names.

I see these two responses over and over again, on every naming article. [name_m]Just[/name_m] trade out the names they use. And it drives me nuts, because what people are willing to take the time to have an opinion about names, find naming articles, and argue in the comment section, but somehow have no clue what the current top hundred list looks like?!

Is anyone else as frustrated about this?

I love discussing names, and I love this site but sometimes I try to head elsewhere for a change in scenery, but you can’t have a decent name conversation with people who think that the name [name_f]Heather[/name_f] is currently popular or that [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] is super unique!

Frustrating much? I agree… Sometimes I just feel like other people operate on some alternative naming reality.

Other forums are one thing, I had one of those moments in a face to face encounter:

[name_f]My[/name_f] cousin-in-law is naming her third child (her other two both under three years, named [name_f]Ella[/name_f] and [name_u]Harper[/name_u]). She said something to the extent that she is looking for a name that is “unique and underused” like both her daughters.

At first I thought she was making light of her trendy choices- but no, she was being serious.
Of course I politely nodded my head in agreement, but I was cringing inwardly. (Now there is not a thing wrong with her choices, beautiful hip names…Sure, but underused they are not!)

Does she have no idea?

I truly think she does NOT- she then proceeded to tell me how shocked she was to find out that her pediatrician had a “[name_u]Harper[/name_u]” by the same first, middle and last name. She has to confirm date of birth when she calls.
You think this would tip her off- but no.

And its funny, but it just so happens that some of these same people are picking these dime-a-dozen beauties, are the ones that scoff at some of the off-beat choices.

Naming certainly can reflect a certain mindsets it seems.

I was talking to a teacher last weekend and my husband had to walk away because even HE was getting irritated at her comments about names. We told her our choices ([name_f]Maeve[/name_f], for example) and she went on and on about how many kids gets made fun of in her school and how we should just stick to names like [name_m]John[/name_m]. I wanted to fire back: “[name_m]How[/name_m] often does your daughter have to specify the spelling of her name, [name_f]Hayley[/name_f], which has endless spelling possibilities?!” I usually appreciate a teacher’s input because they do see so many names and how other kids react to them…maybe I’m just being sensitive?

I think it’s kind of funny. I mean, the SS list is there for everyone! Luckily we discovered it when I was pg with #1 and we thought we were going to go with [name_u]Aidan[/name_u] because it was so unique… lolololololol!

Anyway, I think when a topic is interesting to you, you quickly get tired of the standard comments. You know more about it than most of the commenters, so of course their replies are stupid and common. But that’s how it goes when it is an interest area of yours.

I am of the opinion that there is no excuse for ignorance in this modern information age. Practically everyone has vast resources at their disposal to do a little research on any name they’re considering. It really won’t kill them. After all, knowledge is power.:slight_smile:

I don’t think there’s any need or excuse for grown adults to be rude to anyone, especially through a keyboard and hidden behind anonymity. It’s immature and petty. We all have very strong opinions about the names we like and why they’re “better” or “acceptable.” After all, expectant parents are making a choice of name above others, on behalf of someone else, in order to avoid very real, negative social issues. It’s not just about personal taste. This is what fuels so much fire, I think. A lot of people think there are only certain names that will not do a disservice to a child, while others think they are overreacting and being snobby.

This being said, I do think people may come off as a little detached from reality if they think any name in the Top 100 is truly “unique and underused.” If you want a truly unique name, use one, and then don’t complain that you or others think those names are “weird.” I think people need to truly understand the ramifications of names. Moreover, common or popular names with non-standard spellings are not unique, they’re just bastardized.

By the same token, people who believe in traditional names and traditional names only without the possibility of any consideration for a popular, contemporary, or unique name are also detached from reality. The world changes, people change, that’s OK, and everyone can and should have a place. Ironically, names like [name_m]John[/name_m] and [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] are the truly unique names today, in a world where what we think of as “common” is actually very antiquated. I think that bothers ultra-traditionalists and people who like off the grid alike. Tempers flair.

I think everyone just needs to agree to disagree, instead of attack people over the internet. At the end of the day, I’d like to believe that most people get along find, regardless of their name, within reason. I hardly even think about mine, or anyone’s in my life. I just know/love them, and they are “them” to me, whatever I happen to think about their name intellectually. The novelty of names wears off when people become constants. We all know examples of truly, genuinely bad names. Most people don’t have them. If we are being objective, is [name_u]Jayden[/name_u] a bad name? No. It’s just a name that may not be my style, but is someone else’s. Someone given the name [name_u]Jayden[/name_u] will probably grow up to have a job, pay taxes, and contribute to society, just like most other normal, functional people. And in that day and age, people will not give it a second thought, least of all the person who really matters in this scenario. [name_u]Jayden[/name_u]! Same, with [name_m]John[/name_m], [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] or anything else.

[name_f]Do[/name_f] I think some names are silly and really bad choices, yes. But what matters is what the person who carries it feels about it, and someone can feel just as bad about a name like [name_u]James[/name_u] as they can about [name_f]Apple[/name_f]. People have personal histories, emotional issues, and their own personalities which contribute to that. It’s not so intellectual or academic when it is real life.

I think the majority of (new) parents simply aren’t in contact with a lot of children in their daily lives, at least not until their kids start school. So many still think the names they grew up with — the names of their peers/in their age bracket — are “the norm”. Someone born in the 1970s and 1980s probably thinks [name_f]Emma[/name_f] is “unique” because they never met anyone named [name_f]Emma[/name_f]. That’s not at all unlikely since most Emmas are children born in the 2000s and the 2010s. Similarly, many people still think [name_f]Mary[/name_f] and [name_m]John[/name_m] are too common, even though these names are currently quite rare among children.

On another forum (nothing to do with naming or kids), the question was asked about future children’s names. I LOL’d at all the posters saying things like ‘I want something unique like Madisynn or [name_f]Ava[/name_f]’ or ‘I like names like [name_m]Oliver[/name_m] and [name_f]Ivy[/name_f] because they aren’t used anymore’. People really thought they were being original and thinking out of the box! But, in their defense the forum is mostly under 30 young professionals & college students who are single, childless, and rarely interact with little kids. I’m sure they will actually research once they’re expecting children

lcd1912–I’m a teacher, too. Go with whatever name you love. The fact is that when it comes to teasing, even [name_f]Mary[/name_f] and [name_m]John[/name_m] will be picked on for something before it’s all over with, even if it isn’t their names. If I taught elementary school instead of high school, I’d take those unusual names and use them to explain phonics concepts.

Oh, dear. I was talking to a friend of mine recently about names, and she said, “I love strong, unique names! Like [name_u]Aiden[/name_u]!” And I cringed.
I know that most people I know in real life aren’t into names as obsessively as I am, but it’s still disappointing when everybody has the same bland taste in names.

Thanks Islandgirl!

Before I continue, can I just add to all those people who were saying that [name_m]John[/name_m] is unique now, it’s ranked at #27. Nothing unique or underused about that. In fact, [name_m]John[/name_m] is more popular than [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] or [name_u]Ryan[/name_u].

[name_f]My[/name_f] parents were having a discussion about this the other day. [name_f]My[/name_f] mom has a friend who has three boys named [name_u]Hayden[/name_u], [name_m]Jonah[/name_m], and [name_m]Oliver[/name_m]. She was saying that said friend was commenting about how underused her sons’ names are. [name_f]My[/name_f] mom followed this by saying that she seriously thought her friend had looked in the top 20 names and chosen from there because the names are so trendy.

On another name site I was looking at a list of uncommon and classic names. [name_f]Ava[/name_f], [name_f]Ella[/name_f], and [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] were all on it. Very uncommon… only 15,129, 8,370, and 21,075 girls were named those in 2013.

I think people really are over complicating things, articles talking up or down certain names and people judging each other’s choices and feeling like they have a right to say what someone should or shouldn’t name their child. I think ok there is a point where maybe someone needs to sit down with someone and say hey listen I understand where you are coming from but this is an innocent human child you can’t do that ( for example Sex fruit, Shithead ( sheh-tee-ed), captain awesome…) but other than that ok you’re neighbor names his child [name_u]Aiden[/name_u]. Your cousin names his kid [name_m]Ephram[/name_m], You have a [name_f]Rebekah[/name_f] & Your doctors son is Muhommad… [name_f]Every[/name_f] name has beauty to the one who gives it. When a 15 year old girl has a baby and ‘invents’ a name for him she has the best intentions though possibly misguided, when you hear some ‘made up’ sounding names in the city and they all kind of rhyme examples: ‘shavante’ [name_f]ShakyrA[/name_f]’ & ‘shameka’ they have those nanes because that’s how their family and the culture they live in names. If they were little [name_f]Betsy[/name_f], [name_f]Bonny[/name_f] & [name_f]Bella[/name_f] well maybe they would be the odd ones out? Sometimes I see our local birth announcements and say hmm why did someone name that child that :-/ and then I see oh its a young single mother who likely picked off a top 10s list so as to not do anything to stand her child out, oh its a family from a country who’s naming customs I do not know, oh its a very religious couple, oh they seem to have been trying to honor a family member, oh they Must just like that name… Names are fascinating and the way people name and why and how is a really interesting thing. What we name our children says so much about us as individuals and what we wish for our children. That said is there a perfect name? For each baby yes, I believe there is. If you’re born [name_u]Hayden[/name_u] is your date different than if you’re name is [name_f]Mary[/name_f] or if you’re name is [name_u]Unique[/name_u] will that effect your life in a different way from if you are called [name_f]Roxanne[/name_f]? Probably but likely you’re life is already different and maybe your name is just a fasscet of that different life? Anyway I’m saying this to make my point, when people comment on articles saying nooo my naming style is better yours is wrong, you are wrong and dumb… I try and think wow someone read an article who’s content was obvious then typed up an angry letter to the Internet professing their disagreement. Its crazy, like what’s the point. No one cares and they’re being annoying. The names they like are the names they like. There are people that name all their kids after places, people who have a collectors set of -sons and people who overthink naming to the point where their name is beaitiful intrinsic poetry … No one is wrong everyone is just different… I no longer read any comments on articles and I avoid most of the Internet lol, people are crazy. I found this site when looking for a site thAt had the nanes I love and have been pleasantly suprised by the collection of nanes here and the way that people are nice and there’s no should I name him [name_u]Hayden[/name_u] [name_u]Jayden[/name_u] kayden :wink: either … Kind of a breath of fresh air for someone who thinks overthinking everything is best for herself :wink: but yea talk anyway about anything online somewhere where there are lots of crazies lurking and you’ll get annoying comments. :-/

Beautiful post. I agree with every word.

It is frustrating. I’ve had some real-life conversations with people who are like “I love the name [name_u]Mackenzie[/name_u], but it’s so popular, so to make her stand out I’ll spell it Mackkenziyee!” or “I want something unique for my baby, like [name_f]Emma[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] or [name_f]Isabella[/name_f] [name_f]Sophia[/name_f].” Or when facebook friends ask for unique suggestions on what to name their kids and the responses are either Dumpster Toiletface or random names from the top 10/20 on the SSA list. Like this is either a joke, or these people are completely out of touch with what names are popular now.

But then again, I guess it’s like if you asked me to name 10 current football or basketball players… I probably couldn’t. I probably couldn’t name 10 athletes at all, from any sport. People pay attention to what’s important to them, so I guess it’s possible names just aren’t important to some people. Whether it’s because they’re not currently naming a real baby or because the name of their kid and it’s place on the current popularity chart isn’t that important to them. Cue the shocked gasp from the Nameberry crowd! (Myself included :slight_smile: ) Anyway, I just try and ignore the craziness. If they keep perpetuating the [name_f]Emma[/name_f]/[name_u]Aiden[/name_u] trend it’ll keep people from noticing my less-popular favorites, right??

I agree with mischa. I’m a big believer in doing the research no matter what the area, and like she said, in this day and age it’s ridiculously easy to google “top 100 baby names” or whatever.

Greyer’s point about not being able to name 10 athletes is a good one–I know I can’t do that. But I like to think that if, say, basketball ever became super relevant to my life/I had an investment in it of some kind, like a kid in the NBA, I would then do the research and watch some games and soon be able to name 10 players. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be disappointed when people don’t seem to have given the naming of their kids at least a little extra thought.

And disappointed is definitely the word, rather than angry.

Also, I think what’s being discussed here isn’t the use of popular names itself, but rather the [willful] ignorance people seem to have about them. [name_f]My[/name_f] view is: by all means, name your kid [name_f]Ava[/name_f]. It’s a lovely name. [name_m]Just[/name_m] be aware that it is by no means “unique,” and that if uniqueness is your primary objective, you may want to consider something else.