Oh, my husband LOVES [name]Harry[/name] [name]Potter[/name] too (and of course, I’ve read the books)!
You have so MANY things to think about - boy! First of all, let me say that sharing room will probably not be a problem at all. When we moved into this house a few years ago, [name]Jane[/name] was three and [name]Henry[/name] not even two, and [name]Jane[/name] slept in her own room for a year. The next [name]Christmas[/name], she moved in with [name]Henry[/name] (he had a daybed/trundle type bed and had always slept on the floor part). So, for approximately two years, they have slept in the same room every night despite having their own rooms. [name]Jane[/name] only just recently moved back into her own room and that’s because we told her she could stay up a little later (she’s six and doesn’t go to sleep quite as fast as [name]HEnry[/name] which usually leads to her keeping him up a while). She also is allowed to read to herself while she stays up late. BUT, there are still nights she wants to sleep in his room. And here’s why it was good for us – when she was four, she was prone to bad dreams, etc., and waking up with [name]HEnry[/name] there calmed her down and she wouldn’t usually wake us at all. Now that [name]Henry[/name] is four and having bad dreams, it helps to have her there to reassure him. When this baby comes, I won’t be surprised if they go back to sharing some, just because it will be easier for my husband to get them down together. But they are by no means too old to share at 4 and 6, and I think they could share a couple more years at least.
About calling you mom/dad or by your names, boy, that is tough! I would probably offer your names at first and let him decide if he wants to call you mom/dad later on. This is sort of confusing to explain, but my dad died when I was 2 1/2, and my mom married his brother, my uncle, the next year. I don’t think it was very long until I asked him if I could call him Daddy, and I have ever since (my older sisters still call him uncle and it confuses everyone!). [name]Henry[/name] is really young, so I think he will want to call you mom/dad pretty soon – you might want to tell him he has the option. (and of course, he will probably need some counseling after losing his parent, so see what the counselor says - this is not my field, by any means)
See a lawyer about the guardian/adoption issues for sure – I am a lawyer myself, but not that type so I can’t offer any guidance here, except that there will be issues to work out, and I would get to that next year after you all get settled. I forget where you are, but was thinking it was NOT U.S.
If your mom’s stagger their visits, maybe that will be less people in your house – if they don’t mind a couch, I bet the extra help will be worth it, or better yet, if they or you could afford a hotel (maybe one of those weekly chains that are more affordable?), they could come over in the daytime to help, especially if [name]Henry[/name] and [name]Dottie[/name] are at home with you and not in any type of pre-k/daycare program. If my kids weren’t in school, I don’t know how I would handle a new baby and the kids! I can’t imagine two babies and two kids!!!
Best wishes for today, a BIG day!!!