Hey there! I know this site is for baby-naming but I’ve chosen a name and now all I need is knowledge from people who’ve actually had kids.
I’m 17, a senior in high school and my girlfriend is due to have a kid in [name_u]January[/name_u].
I don’t know a lot about parenthood but I know it’s a lot of work. I need to know if I can still go to college and get a good job whilst having a baby. I currently work as a barista but would hate to have to do that for the rest of my life.
My girlfriend has already dropped out of school and I just want to be able to go to college and not end up in a dead-end job. I need to know if that’s possible. I don’t want to be the stereotypical teenage-father who walks out on the mother (which I won’t) but I also don’t want a drunken (and probably stoned) decision not to use protection to stop me from getting to where I want in life.
I also want to know if fatherhood means I have to completely stop my social life. I’m a social person and enjoy parties like all teenagers. [name_m]Will[/name_m] this have to stop when becoming a parent? I want to be a great dad and be at a great position in life.
[name_m]Just[/name_m] to note: We don’t have any family to look after my son as both sides are Mormon and the whole sex-before-marriage doesn’t sit well with them.
I just needed to have a little vent there!
Any advice would be very appreciated 
Thanks!
The fact that you are already concerned about all this tells me that you will be fine. While the situation is not ideal, you seem to have a good sense of the upcoming challenges. It’s unfortunate that in this day and age we still have parents stifling their teens and preaching abstinence when the proof is right in front of them - teen pregnancies happen when we don’t teach safe sex. I feel bad that your parents have shunned you, but I’m not surprised about this. Sorry for that vent! On to practical advice:
Your girlfriend should look into getting her high school equivalency at the very least. It helps more than you may think to have HS grad. I believe this can be done online.
Are you handy at all? I’m a big proponent of going into the trades. You can take on an apprenticeship and earn money while learning instead of sitting in a university learning poetry. NOT that there’s anything wrong with that, but where I live, the market is oversaturated with bachelor degrees and has a shortage of skilled tradespeople.
Bartending is an excellent part-time job. I made more bartending than I did in my first post-college “real” job.
Your life will change when your baby is here. Everything will be about him - if you want to go out to a party, you need to have a sitter. If this constantly falls on your girlfriend, she [name_m]WILL[/name_m] resent you. I recommend having parent friends 
I agree that your girlfriend should have her HS degree!
Also, I think that you can definitely go to College. It’s not crazier than being a dad and having a 45-50 hours a week job, it could even be easier in my opinion (which doesn’t mean easy). You spend about 15 hours in class, a few hours at the library to study. Definitely doable. Most of my friends have done it.
You can also have a social life. The thing is that you both need to talk about it (communication!!), find a good balance and manage your time. As long as you are both involved into your son’s life and do the job you have to do, obviously you can go out with your friends. She will probably need to have time for her too (where you will watch your son), and you guys will need time together as a couple, if possible.
My plan was that both parents need to take care of the baby, then:
Try to have every week:
- Time for you to study, obviously.
- Time for you, for what you like to do in life. Friends, sports, …
- Time for her, for what she likes to do in life.
[name_f]Every[/name_f] week or two weeks:
- Time for you as a couple (it can be as simple as watching a movie, cuddle, drink a coffee together, etc).
Maybe yours will be different, make a plan together. Also, keep in mind that the plan might change, it must be a flexible plan, you need to compromise. The first weeks/months are the hardest, but it will be easier with time 
(and you will probably have more time for you).
Congratulations!