Im not autistic myself, but my dad is, so im hoping maybe I can provide some insight as to what its like to be parented by somebody with autism
First of all, my dad is awesome, I love him very, very much. He is a good guy, and a great dad, I couldn’t ask for anything more.
Second of all:
I wanted to talk about this!
Awhile ago my dad spoke to me and my sisters about his experiences with autism, and how he felt it affected his parenting.
One thing he said to us was “I never felt like I was good enough because I couldn’t handle giving you kisses”, and it really got me thinking.
You could say my dad wasnt really ‘conventionally’ affectionate to me as a child, because he wouldn’t give me goodnight kisses, or hugs before school, etc. When I was younger I didn’t really understand why he had an aversion to those things, but it never bothered me.
Mainly because I never felt as if he wasn’t affectionate with me and my sisters, he just showed it in different ways.
To me, affection looked like making our favourite sandwiches for lunch (always, ‘with love’), it looked like sitting on the edge of the bed as we said our goodnight prayers, it looked like peeling potatoes with us when we are upset, it looked like waking up to a fresh pastry on the kitchen counter, and it looked like going on roadtrips to our ‘special beach’ during the summer and daring each other to jump of the bridge.
I dont need him to hold my hand to know that he loves me, he has other ways to show me, and it is equally as special as a hug or a kiss. I never felt like I was missing out on anything, or as if he was ‘failing’ me in any way, and you would not be failing your children in the slightest either.
Also, when in public he would just have us walk in front of him, always. That way he knew where we were and he didnt have to hold our hands.
I have learnt alot from my dad, how to be patient, how to listen to my feelings, how to take time for myself, and how to be kind to others.
Never have I felt that his autism meant he was lacking as a parent in any way.
Anyways, sorry if this is super long or doesnt really make any sense, I think im just missing my dad a little bit extra today (he lives in another state)
I wish you guys all the best