[name_f]My[/name_f] partner is gender-questioning & keeps changing their name to go along with the identity that they think they are at the time. And I love that they are figuring out who they are, but this is really hard to keep up with… I am confused & considering how often they change their name, I am constantly dead-naming them & it’s really hard, I feel guilty every time I do it (I have GAD). I really need some advice on what to do now, I can’t really do this anymore.
I think the best thing to do is talk to your partner. You can bring up the conversation by saying that you don’t want to hurt their feelings by deadnaming them so often, if you’re uncomfortable making the conversation about yourself.
Maybe you can talk with your partner about calling them by nicknames or pet names like “honey” or “love” or “pumpkin” or “sunshine” or other affectionate names that your partner can feel comfortable with no matter what identity they are feeling
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How often have they changed their name? Im all for people being called what they prefer but changing your name often is just not going to work. Its not really all about them since this affects other people too. Having a new name every other week will cause people not to take you seriously and make them feel like they don’t know you. Its ok and normal to feel uncomfortable sometimes, with your identity or name or whatever. He/She doesn’t need to make big changes just because of this feeling. Talk with them and decide what you will call him/her then just stick with it and don’t feel guilty.
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In the past two months that I’ve known them, 3 different names (including the original), but I don’t think that they ever have before that.
Is there maybe a special nickname or term of endearment you could use for them? [name_u]Or[/name_u] maybe ask if they could message you if they change their name, so you won’t accidentally deadname them?
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hi! just wanted to let you know that instead of he/she, you can use they - it’s inclusive when you’re unsure, and that might be the pronouns they use anyway! 
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That’s a tough one. You’re still young, right? I think things like this are more challenging when you’re that young, and figuring yourself out. Most likely they’re just trying to figure out who they are, and who they want to be. I’m sure it’s complicated having to try and not deadname them, but they’re probably just struggling with finding the right choice. 3 names in 2 months is quite a few, so I get it. I’d definitely talk to them about it. Communicate how you feel (kindly), and let them know they need to talk to you more when going through a name change. Maybe you could also sit down with them and try and help them find the perfect name, so they don’t need to keep changing it!!
I’ve been friends with a lot of people who have changed their names a few times over the years (and I also have friends who go back and forth between names depending on they’re feeling gender wise that day - just a simple “what’s the name today?” helps to know the correct one to use!). I get how it can get confusing and a bit challenging, but just remember that in the end you’ll be happy that they’ve discovered who they are and are finally them.
For now, I’d definitely have some conversations about it though! Good luck!!
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That’s very true. 
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As someone who has changed his name many times, i have to say that when i was still questioning my name, I wouldn’t mind if someone called me a name I used to use. (aside from my deadname)
You could try repeating sentences with their name in your head in order to adjust to it. Whenever you use the wrong name, just correct yourself and move on. I’m sure they don’t mind that much. Unless you’re actually saying their deadname, it shouldn’t be too big of a deal. If you are accidentally saying their deadname, definitely work on that.
I think you should ask them if there’s a nickname or, like someone else mentioned, term of endearment you can call them. You could try calling them honey, love, babe, hun, etc. I have a habit of calling people b, which I guess comes from babe/baby. Maybe you could call them B/Bee?
Obviously you should do whatever makes them comfortable, so communication is key here. Best of luck to your partner in the naming journey!
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