Hello! I’m here on behalf of my cousin Polly… she’s is expecting her first baby, and just learned he’s a little boy! He’s not expected for another few months, but she’s been pretty anxious about naming. Apparently when she was thirteen or so she promised her dad that if she ever had a son she would give him his name, [name_u]Michael[/name_u]. [name_m]Mike[/name_m] brought it up a few days ago, and now she’s stressing. Both her and her partner don’t hate the name, but don’t LOVE it. What would you do in this situation??
Thank you xx
I mean I think holding someone to something they said at 13 is a bit much… gosh parents eh?!
I think if it was me I would use [name_u]Michael[/name_u] as a middle name therefore he still gets his namesake but [name_f]Polly[/name_f] will get to have the name they love upfront.
[name_u]Or[/name_u] alternatively you could have [name_u]Micah[/name_u] + [name_m]Malachi[/name_m] they have [name_u]Michael[/name_u] vibes but more modern in feel.
11 Likes
I know!! Mike’s a stubborn thing. Using Michael as a middle is a great idea though!
1 Like
Yikes! I’d name the child whatever she wants and have it be a quick lesson to [name_m]Mike[/name_m] that he can’t hang such a thing over their heads nor will he have such a say over their parenting choices in general…. Can’t imagine what else he’ll try to hold over them if he doesn’t get with it now. But also I would tell her to keep whatever name they do choose to themselves until after the baby is born. [name_m]Mike[/name_m] will get over it I’m sure.
5 Likes
Yikes…that’s not okay. It would be one thing to lightheartedly bring it up but he shouldn’t be holding her to something she said as a child. She’s an adult now and has a partner (and their naming preferences) and a real child to factor in here. She shouldn’t have to worry about people pleasing. If I were her, I’d ignore [name_m]Mike[/name_m] and let him sort his own emotions out like a big boy. However, if she does decide to use his name, using it as a middle name/second middle name or a variation (love the [name_u]Micah[/name_u] suggestion) or maybe even just another M name feels like a good compromise.
3 Likes
I’m sorry to hear of your cousin’s anxiety! I hope that it wanes in time.
If I were in this situation, I’d probably go for [name_u]Michael[/name_u] as the middle name, or as one of the middle names. It’s a sweet honor, absolutely! But I’d never go for a name I didn’t love as a first name.
2 Likes
To be honest, I’d probably just think that I was 13 at the time and not see it as binding.
Alternatively, I might:
- consider it as a middle
- consider a similar sounding name, a variant or a name made from [name_u]Michael[/name_u] somehow (ie. [name_u]Michael[/name_u] could give you [name_u]Micah[/name_u], [name_u]Miles[/name_u], [name_m]Malachi[/name_m], Micha/Misha, [name_u]Cal[/name_u], Ike/Isaac ‘Ike’, [name_u]Miller[/name_u], Milo)
- honour [name_u]Michael[/name_u] in a another way → with something he likes (inspired by his fave song, a hobby etc), using his initial/s, a name that means something that reminds me of him
3 Likes
I am very close with my family and my dad is so cool, funny and chill, so perhaps it’s easy for me to say, but I would straight up tell him that it ain’t gonna happen. 
2 Likes
As she was a child when entering into this contract with an adult - it’s non est factum or would be were this a signed contract but the principle remains: it was quite unconscionable for him to ask that of her at an age when she was entirely dependent on him and could really only agree. They’re tough words to express to family, but if he’s jokingly insisting on this, she can jokingly say that it wouldn’t hold up in court given the power imbalance!
Hopefully [name_m]Mike[/name_m] isn’t entirely serious - I wouldn’t want to honour someone who was forcing me to (makes them less honourable!). I get he might really want to be remembered in this way, maybe he always wanted a son to call [name_u]Michael[/name_u], and there might also be cultural issues at play where honour names are expected.
Anyway, I agree with the above, explain how [name_u]Michael[/name_u] is no longer as in fashion (and she couldn’t have known that at age 13), she has to take into account her husband’s preferences and that instead (if she and her husband agree and she still wants to honour him), she’s going to use it for a middle or use a more contemporary name as a first like [name_u]Micah[/name_u] (and again only if they love it) or other way to honour him (Mike’s middle name, birth stone, smoosh of initials etc).
2 Likes
Middle name perhaps? But ultimately this is your cousin’s baby and their choice to name him
1 Like
Thanks so much everyone! I was on the phone with her last night and read all of your responses— she’s definitely relieved. She told me she’s pretty sure [name_m]Mike[/name_m] was just trying to be “funny” anyways 
.
3 Likes
No way should she be held to a promise she made when she was 13. She could use it as a middle name but here are some suggestions to honor:
[name_u]Micah[/name_u]
[name_u]Mika[/name_u]
[name_m]Mitchell[/name_m]
[name_m]Michelangelo[/name_m]
[name_u]Milo[/name_u]
[name_u]Miles[/name_u]
1 Like
I hope they choose a first name that they love and maybe as a middle, they’d like to use some of the letters in Mike/Michael, [name_m]Ike[/name_m]? I second the suggestion of maybe choosing a way to honour him as in his favourite activity, tree, place, birth month, birthstone, etc. IF there is one they love. And it sounds like he’ll probably be fine if she does not choose [name_u]Michael[/name_u], which is great.
1 Like