My daughter Gabry had her ears pierced when she was 3 months old. I, however, was not the one to decide this. my husband, [name]Liam[/name]'s, mom was babysitting the kids for the weekend, and decided Gabry would look darling with earrings. I was not happy. In my house we have a rule that you can have your ears pierced on your 3rd birthday, but only if you want to. People were mad, even furious at me when i would take Gabry out and she had earrings in. what are your thoughts on piercing newborns ears?
I’m not a fan at all! And I would be absolutely furious if my mil did that!
i don’t mind seeing it on other people’s children. I would never get furious. I do, however, really dislike it. I think you shouldn’t make those kinds of decisions for your children. It should be her decision when she wants to punch holes in her ears, not anyone elses. They’re hers after all. When my daughter is old enough to tell me she wants them pierced, then she can have them pierced.
I would be furious if my mother or [name]MIL[/name] did that without my permission and I would take them out.
I really dislike it. First because I think it looks like you wanna make a little girl look like an adult. To me it’s close to letting them wear make up. But that’s me. The biggest reason is that I would never make a decision to put holes in my kids body. If she wants to do it, fine. But she cannot make this decision under the age of 6 I think. I mean no one lets their kids have piercings on their belly button at age 3, where’s the difference?
Oh my god, if my mother in law would ever do this. I don’t think I’d ever get over it :S
i think it’s fine, and any daughter I have will get theirs pierced around 3 months. however, I would be FURIOUS if someone did that without my permission.
I would never do it, and your [name]MIL[/name] was [name]WAY[/name] out of order to do it to your daughter without your permission. I would be furious at her. I agree with dantea that I would probably take them out. However, I think it’s also rather ridiculous that people are getting upset with you when you take your daughter out and they see her earrings. It’s not something that I would do, but it’s not something that’s terribly damaging to a child either as far as I know, and if another parent wanted to do it with their child then I wouldn’t comment on it. Having said that, your [name]MIL[/name] wasn’t the parent in that situation and she should’ve recognized her boundaries.
[name]One[/name] of many decisions you shouldn’t make for your child. Piercings are a body modification and unnecessary, I think it should wait until your child is old enough to ask for them, and be able to help take care of them. What if your child never wanted pierced ears? What happens when that poor baby is teething and pulling on her newly pierced ears?! Ouch.
That being said, I got mine done when I was a child, I vaguely remember the experience, loud, painful and traumatic really. It was done with a piercing gun (major no-no!!!) and I am pretty sure I never asked for it. My ears are still capable of wearing earrings, but I rarely do.
I would never ever leave another one of my children alone with my mother in law if she thought that was the kind of decision that was hers to make.
I wouldn’t do it, and I would seriously lose my mind if anyone did it to my child without my permission. Frankly, that would be the end of grandma’s unsupervised visits with any baby of mine. I don’t judge other parents for choosing to pierce ears, though. I live in an area where there are many Latinos, so for a lot of my neighbors, infant ear piercing is more or less a cultural thing–not doing it is seen as weird, at least by their extended families.
I liked the way my mother did it. I was ten, I made an informed, conscious choice, and she made an event out of the day that I still remember 25+ years later. We spent the day together, just she and I, laughing and being silly, having lunch, seeing a “grown-up” movie, trying on shoes and clothes…the memory of the piercing itself is long gone, but I still remember how close I felt to my mom that day. Actually, I remember it every time I put earrings in. If I ever have a daughter, I’d like to make a similar memory with her.
Nobody has the right to do this to your child, I don’t care if it’s your own mother. This goes way beyond “crossing the line.” I would be absolutely irate!
I will not pierce my daughter’s ears, but leave it up to her to decide if she wants them done. I won’t allow it before age 13 or so, when she’s old enough to take care of them herself (just judging by my 12-year-old’s self-sufficiency).
You guys are all so helpful and knowledgeable on this! thank you so much! and keep the comments coming! the only thing i want to add, was that this was about 9 years ago and we did confront my [name]MIL[/name] about how we were very upset about what she did to Gabry. we informed her that we had lost trust in her and would not be able to leave our children with her until that trust was built back. Now my [name]MIA[/name] and my kids Gammy is the most loved person in the family and my kids and i love, trust and respect her very much. She was truly saddened and sorry about what she did and i’m pleased to say that my kids and I both love when she can watch the kiddos for the weekend.
I feel strongly against it. It’s a permanent mutilation and not a decision you should make for a baby. Most girls and women do want pierced ears and it’s kind of a right of passage. I didn’t have mine done till I was 13 because I was so terrified. I was upset my mom didn’t have mine done as a baby. She tried to make me many times and bribe me but I didn’t want to out of fear of the pain haha. After I eventually had it done it sort of helped me learn to accept some fears, and go figure now I have 8 piercings. I have friends who do not have their ears pierced and love it because they find it unique.
In regards to the OP I would be furious and prob not let my [name]MIL[/name] be with my child unattended. That’s a huge no no. I would have really flung off the handle at her for doing that. If your daughter was 16 and grandma took her to have it done then it’s completely different.
I’d never let her babysit again and I’d be furious. I wouldn’t let my daughter pierce her ears until she’s 18. I mean I understand that other people let their daughters do it earlier and I think that’s fine. But it’s her body and I don’t want her to get mad at me later because I allowed her to do something she might not really have wanted after all. I sound old now, I’m only in my early 20s My cousin wanted her belly button pierced when she was 16 and she is so happy that her parents didn’t allow it because she’d hate to have the scar.
[name]How[/name] can a 3yr old make a rational decision about getting their ears pierced? Anyway, I’m not a fan of ear piercings on babies or young children so I’d be extremely MAD if someone else pierced either of my DD’s ears without my permission. So mad, I’d probably never speak to them again. But that’s just me.
I feel children need to understand whats involved with piercings before getting them, be able to understand the consequences of fiddling with them or not cleaning them, and generally be responsible enough to get them done.
I’ll allow my DD’s get theirs done when they’re around 10 or so, if they want them. I won’t get them done unless they ask for them though, I’d like to avoid piercings for as long as possible.
I would be insanely upset if anyone got my daughter’s ears pierced without my knowledge. My daughter is three now, and she does want her ears pierced, but we still haven’t done it. I have metal allergies, and I’m terrified that she will too, so not fun for such a small girl.
I think it’s creepy to see a little girl with pierced ears. Why hurt your baby needlessly? When she is old enough to choose (maybe around 10, if she’s responsible enough to care for them herself) I would let my daughter choose. I would never presume to punch holes in another person’s head, especially a baby!
I’m not a parent yet, but if I had a daughter, I’d wait until she was thirteen or so and then let her decide whether or not she wanted earrings.
Like everyone else, I would be beyond pissed if someone I trusted went beyond my back and had my future DD’s ears pierced.
It’s definitely part of Italian (and I think Hispanic) tradition to pierce baby girl’s ears soon after they’re born. I love the tradition (I’m Italian) and look forward to it! My parents made me wait (longer than most!) for other girly privileges so I don’t think it was a travesty done to me because they chose for me. I don’t understand why people are so upset about it. I saw a little boy at a wedding last year who had his ears pierced. Now THAT bothered me. But girls 99% of the time wear earrings when they’re older so who cares? Boys the % is much less so that’s quite odd.
I don’t think, however, that someone else should be the one making that decision. It’s not permanent though. Holes can close up if you don’t like it and you could have removed the earrings… it’s not like she got a tattoo lol.
Something happened today that completely solidified my opinion this…
I was walking through the mall here, and was walking past a salon type place, and all I could hear was a baby screaming. and I peeked in the store as I walked past and there was a family there, and one adult was holding the screaming baby, who was squirming and obviously very very upset so she could get the second ear done. It completely broke my heart that she was in so much pain for that reason Not even my child, or a child I knew, I could never ever do that to my own daughter after experiencing that today. You could hear that poor baby from the other end of the mall corridor still…
It’s part of my hispanic tradition to pierce baby girl’s ears while they are young. And like leafitz, I love the tradition. My mom had my pediatrician pierce my ears when I was a baby(6 weeks old I believe, but I could be wrong) and I’m grateful for it. So if/when I have a daughter I would not be opposed to piercing her ears at a young age. I would however be upset if another person went and pierced my daughters ears without me present or with my permission.
In my area, it’s uncommon to see a baby girl that doesn’t have pierced ears. By the time I was in second grade, I was one of only three girls in my class that didn’t have my ears pierced (there were even two boys with piercings.) I was so excited when I got piercings for my ninth birthday- I laughed the whole time! It was a great memory because I was so happy and I’d want that for my child, so I’d wait.
I don’t, however, have any problem with babies with pierced ears. It’s not really permanent the same way a tattoo is- you’ll always have a mark, but if you take the earrings out it’s not noticeable at all. The “scar” is virtually invisible and no one would ever guess you had it, unless you have some kind of problem healing. And it really doesn’t hurt, either. People say it does, but I think it’s just the idea of it- I’ve had multiple piercings and none have ever caused any pain at all during or after the procedure.