See the results of this poll: Play it safe or a bit risky?
Respondents: 57 (This poll is closed)
- play it safe : 11 (19%)
- a bit risky: 47 (81%)
This is tough. As you said, you can’t predict what your child would prefer.
I guess I have a name on the riskier side ([name_f]Mai[/name_f]). As a kid, I only met one other girl with my name (she was in 7th grade when I started kindergarten). Growing up I sometimes felt like my name was weird, but I’ve grown to appreciate it and I like that I don’t have a typical name from my generation. I never have to use my last initial or last name to specify who I am, which is great.
I think the most important thing you can do is choose a name that YOU love, and hopefully your child will pick up on that and feel the same way. I always knew my parents loved my name and carefully picked it out.
I think you could easily combine some of the names from your lists and still have a cohesive sibset. So if you love [name_u]Charlie[/name_u], [name_m]Jack[/name_m], and then have another boy and you don’t love [name_m]Henry[/name_m] as much as you love [name_m]Crispin[/name_m], just go with [name_m]Crispin[/name_m]! It sounds nice and cohesive, and I really think the best thing you can do is give your child a name you love, no matter how safe or risky it is 
Mine is “risky,” (or at least it was for a girl in the early nineties): [name_u]Hunter[/name_u]. I get comments every single time I meet someone new. I have things addressed to Mr., I have been referred to as him more often than not. Sometimes I love it and am glad I’m not [name_f]Jessica[/name_f], but other days it’s just annoying to explain why my parents chose it. If I’m in a particularly cranky mood I just say I didn’t pick it when I get asked, because it’s really no ones business. I do introduce myself as my middle name to people I know I will never see again (like at Starbucks), because I just don’t want to have a conversation about my name. But my middle name isn’t common either, so sometimes I do just use [name_f]Jessica[/name_f]!
I consider your riskier names more middle-of-the-road, I don’t think they would get nearly the amount of comments/questions as I do. [name_u]Emerson[/name_u] and [name_u]Everett[/name_u] in particular are, dare I say, on the common side where I am. I agree that it’s impossible to predict what experience your child will have with their name, so pick something you love and give them a safe middle name to work with.
@ maimouse and ziggy2112
Thank you very much for sharing your stories.
Thank you for the votes, everyone.
I prefer risky, but like you stated, ‘a BIT risky’. I won’t go for crazy names that, to me, are too far stretched. My favorites are much like yours, in your signature! My favorite boys are [name_m]Wilder[/name_m], [name_m]Archer[/name_m], [name_u]Everett[/name_u], and [name_u]Jude[/name_u]. My favorite girls are [name_u]Rowan[/name_u], [name_f]Cora[/name_f], [name_f]Indie[/name_f] & [name_u]Ember[/name_u]. To me they are on a safer, risky side. Not crazy wild, but still different.
With our children, we went the route of playing it safe with the first names, but using riskier middle names, which I think is a great compromise if you like both styles like I do. If the child ends up hating his boring first name, he can always start going by his bolder middle, and if he hates his risky middle name, then he never really has to use it except on legal papers and such. It also works vice versa, too. You can go risky with the first name and safe with the middle.
As for myself, my first name would probably be considered pretty safe ([name_f]Margaret[/name_f]), but it wasn’t the most stylish when I was growing up. Still, I was the shy and withdrawn type, so I’m not sure I would have liked having a “riskier” name either.
I wouldn’t necessarily call your “risky” names all that unusual, so I’d definitely go for it. My name was in the Top 100 the year I was born, familiar, but I don’t know too many people my age with the name. I personally hated it when I was younger, but now I think it’s ancient and elegant and beautiful and I get a lot of compliments on it.
Considering your names are relatively familiar and all in the Top 1000 (except [name_m]Crispin[/name_m]) I don’t think you have any more chance of having a kid hate those names than [name_m]Henry[/name_m] or [name_m]Jack[/name_m].
I was given a very popular name, and I’ve always hated it (and plan to legally change it). If I had a kid, I’d most likely give them a name outside the top 1000. So I voted for “a bit risky”.
I read a blog post not too long ago (perhaps on Appelation Mountain?) about children’s perceptions of names. The gist of it was “if a kid has heard it, the name is “normal” to them”. So I think that unless a name is so out there, or the name of something known NOT to usually be a person’s name, like “Satellite”, then I don’t think the names you think are risky are really risky at all. I’m sure there will be a good number of Archers and Wilders born in the coming years, and [name_m]Crispin[/name_m] is easily recognized from literature. Anything within the Top 1000 is definitely “on the safe side” to me.
There’s risky and there’s risky, right? I think the boys names you listed could qualify as a bit risky, but not ridiculously so.
My own name is risky. [name_f]Hadassah[/name_f] is a well known name amongst Jewish people, but not outside the Jewish community. So I’ve had to spell my name countless times, and I still have to. I’ve had a lot of comments on my name, nothing too negative, but some people find it very “surprising” or “special”.
As long as the name isn’t tacky or ridiculous, I’d say you should go with something you love. On the other hand, it’s always up to you too decide what’s tacky or ridiculous… I gave my sons names that are more on the risky side in the UK, but I just did what felt right for us.
Risky, but not too risky.
Thank you, all, so much for sharing your stories and opinions. It’s very helpful and appreciated.
The funny thing about myself is that I was very, very shy and quiet as a child. I am thankful I had an average, for lack of a better word, name. Although I would have also loved to have an actual risky name, like [name_u]Story[/name_u]. I suppose it might not be as risky as some because it has a similar sound to [name_f]Tori[/name_f]. Now there would have been no way that my parents would have given us, my brother or I, any name that was even slightly risky. But I actually wonder if it might of helped with my shyness. Given me the thing that started conversations. Maybe as others have said that would have gotten tiring.
I’ve met one person with a name that I would call really risky, a young adult named [name_u]Paisley[/name_u]. [name_u]Paisley[/name_u] is special to us so I was extra excited to meet one, besides the fact of being a name nerd and meeting a person with a risky name. She said she loved her name and most people gave her positive comments about it.
I am happy with my name, though it is ridiculously common. At times as a child, I found myself wishing my parents had chosen something more unique, a name that would make me pretty much the one and only. But no. Everywhere I go I seem to meet someone with my name, or with a very similar name. Perhaps all children go through a phase where they wish they had a different name. But in the end, for most people, I believe a person’s name is their name. They will typically tend to embraces their names simply because they are their own. Maybe I am wrong, but if, for example, you name your son [name_m]Archer[/name_m] or [name_m]Wilder[/name_m] or [name_u]Emerson[/name_u], I think he will most likely grow up feeling an ownership of the name and if you encourage it and tell him how much you loved the name when you chose it, chances are he will, too.
(In some cases, however, it could be different. I mean, if the names are a lot riskier than the ones you have listed. A boy named a girly name or something like Truxton may grow up and wish he wasn’t named that. But I think the ones you have listed are pretty safe either because they have history of use ([name_m]Crispin[/name_m], [name_u]Everett[/name_u], [name_u]Emerson[/name_u]) or are outdoorsy but not too strange ([name_m]Wilder[/name_m], [name_m]Archer[/name_m] – they are so similar to popular [name_u]Hunter[/name_u] and [name_u]Parker[/name_u]).
I understand what you are saying and agree. Although they might not adore their name, they will appreciate the name. The reality of a person really adoring their name, liking it so much they might feel it to be The One for themselves is most likely very rare.
I can see someone with a really risky name or a woman with a masculine name or, and maybe especially (at least males I have known/know seem more sensitive to it), a man with a feminine name (and I am not talking about names like [name_u]Kelly[/name_u] or [name_u]Robin[/name_u]). That is why, for example the thread about [name_u]Juniper[/name_u] for a boy, instead of asking teen girls and woman their thoughts, I think it is way more important to ask teen boys and men their thoughts. A name is not a place to put your wishes for equal rights, your “Well, it should be okay because girls are being given masculine names”. And no, all nature names are not unisex. I would not call my son [name_f]Rose[/name_f], [name_f]Poppy[/name_f], [name_f]Lily[/name_f], [name_f]Daisy[/name_f], [name_f]Flora[/name_f], [name_f]Iris[/name_f], [name_f]Ivy[/name_f], [name_f]Magnolia[/name_f], [name_f]Pearl[/name_f], etc and I would not call my daughter [name_m]Stone[/name_m], [name_m]Birch[/name_m], [name_m]Forrest[/name_m], [name_u]Orion[/name_u], etc. A name is carried by that person for, hopefully, 70/80+ years. That is why I am even questioning really safe names to a bit riskier names. The names are not ours, they are our children’s names. They have to deal with them a lot longer than we do.
I should have put this thread in the [name_u]Baby[/name_u] Names forum.
As long as you love the names I think it is fine to be a little ‘risky’. My name was no 54 when I was born in 1982, popular enough to be known like [name_u]Everett[/name_u] but rare enough that I was the only one in my class and in my 35 years I’ve only met maybe another 4-5 people with the same name. So I’m glad my parents went with their heart rather than a safe option. Not that my name is 'risky ’ just not as common as some others.
I went through this exact debate with myself when i wa pregnant with my son and I played it safe. I am now kicking myself. As I have gotten older and more confident as an adult (I was 19 when I had him), and lived in the “real world” - I wish I had gone riskier. I wish I had just stayed true to myself and my loves. I had wanted something like [name_u]Kieran[/name_u] or [name_m]Felix[/name_m] but then talked myself out of it and he’s [name_m]Caleb[/name_m]. It’s a fine name. I am still not as in love with it as I should be and he’s 8. If you truly love something, take the risk and use it. Life’s too short for boring names.