Ok so I’ve come across a fair few posts like this in my time and always looked at them rather sourly but now I find myself in this situation I have a lot more sympathy. I need some pearls of wisdom on name stealing etiquette. I have a name I really like but I’d forgotten it is a top choice for a close friend of mine (who incidentally got the name idea from me originally). I cannot work out whether I can still consider this name or not so please help me out.
Have you have pinched someone else’s name? Was the relationship soured afterwards?
Or on the flip side have you ever had your name choice taken out from underneath you? Was it easy to get over?
Or even did you decide against using a name you loved because someone called dibs and regretted it?
For context the name is quite common with a few different nicknames. She knows I liked (past tense) it too but doesn’t know it’s on my list right now. I know no one owns a name but I’d still like to show some respect. [name_u]Baby[/name_u] is due in 20 days so I’m stress decided now. Any help appreciated x
I think you should use it if you feel like it’s the one. I don’t like the idea of “stealing” a name, but using a common name that you originally suggested isn’t really stealing; I’d only use that term in a case where someone said they were using a rare and unique name or name combination and then you used the exact same name.
FWIW, my sister (who is VERY sensitive to shared names/name stealing) was kind of pissed that I was going to use our grandmother’s name on my daughter because she specifically told me it was “hers” while our other grandmother’s name was “mine.” I told her I planned on using both of their names, should I have two girls, and she could use whatever she wanted. She got over it pretty quickly.
Also, I was supposed to be a [name_f]Rebecca[/name_f] [name_u]Lynn[/name_u], but my mom’s coworker had her baby two months before and used my mom’s combo. I’m pretty glad I got the name I have now instead of [name_f]Rebecca[/name_f] [name_u]Lynn[/name_u]–no offense to any Rebeccas, but it’s definitely not me. Maybe sometimes name stealing is a blessing in disguise.
I think it personally depends on the relationship in question. If it’s your husband’s colleague in HR or a cousin you haven’t seen in 4 years I wouldn’t worry and use it anyway. If it’s a close friend or family member I would pick something else. A) It’s easier logistically if the kids are going to spend a decent amount of time together and B) It would sting more - especially if y’all have discussed names before (which I’m guessing you have since you know).