Please help me! i need help!

I am an 19 year old girl and I really hate marriage and motherhood and I am very scared.
When I think that one day I have to be someone’s wife and fall in love with him, it is strange to me and I am afraid of becoming a mother (and it may be strange but I hate the sound of a baby crying) I told my mother and she told me to just give myself time.
I absolutely hate sex and sexual activity so much ( [name_m]Even[/name_m] I hate when my dad hugs me )
Many of my peers are ready to get married and have children, but I’m afraid of how I want to manage a house and be good to my husband and be a good mother. I know this site is for parents but please help me
Thanks .

1 Like

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.
If you don’t want to get married, don’t.
If you don’t want to have kids, don’t.

You are in charge of your own destiny. Also, you’re very young. There’s no need to worry about those things right now. [name_m]Just[/name_m] do what your heart tells you. If for some reason, you end up changing your mind, you have plenty of time. Lots of people are waiting until their 30s nowadays to take those steps.
Give yourself time :slight_smile: be gentle on yourself.


there’s no reason you have to get married or have kids if you don’t want to. more and more people are choosing to stay child-free, and plenty of people are unmarried by choice too. also, absolutely not pressuring you to label yourself here, but you might fall under the asexual umbrella - there’s a lot of online communities you can join if you want to talk to people experiencing something similar.


Don’t put too much pressure on yourself! It’s totally fine not to get married and/or not have kids! 100% your choice and no one else’s! As your mom said, maybe one day you will feel differently but you might not and either way is perfectly fine! :blush:

I would say just surround yourself with supportive people, especially if your parents don’t understand how you feel right now. I think parents often have dreams and hopes for their children (I.e., grandkids) and it can be hard to let that go. If in the long run you still feel kids and marriage are not for you, hopefully they will understand and respect your decision.