Sorry to hear that naming your little one was such an ordeal. I often think that when it comes to decision making we have a tendency to choose something we like enough when we can’t have something that we love. So we often feel like we choose second best. I don’t know if that makes sense so… it’s kind of like going to a restaurant and really wanting hot chocolate. But the place doesn’t have hot chocolate. So you opt for a cappuccino instead and pour a ton of sugar in it. On any other day you [name]LOVE[/name] cappuccino’s but since it’s not what you wanted when you walked in that cappuccino doesn’t feel quite good enough. It has a lot of similar properties to hot chocolate but just isn’t it. In reality, you probably would have been happier with orange juice -> it’s very nature of being so different allows you to enjoy it without missing the hot chocolate. —> Back to little [name]Maren[/name] [name]Louisa[/name]. You loved [name]Louisa[/name] and now you are disappointed that it only made middle name status. I wonder if calling her [name]Lou[/name], [name]Lilou[/name] or [name]Lulu[/name] is making that more difficult for you. I would suggest taking some time and embracing her [name]Maren[/name] derived nn instead. It might help to just embrace it as a completely different and equally great direction. (If after a few months you are still struggling talk to your husband about it -> I know that with siblings it’s harder to change a name but you might find in a few months that nothing but [name]Maren[/name] fits her).
[name]Haven[/name]'t read the replies but I read your post in its entirety. I understand your frustration with the confusion of the spelling/pronunciation. I think you are going through some emotions dealing with this being your last time giving birth/being pregnant. These emotions are probably being vented through the name because it was so stressful picking it out. I think you honestly only have 3 choices.
- call her by her middle name
- make her legal name [name]Louisa[/name] [name]Maren[/name], and call her [name]Louisa[/name]
- focus on what made you love the name [name]Maren[/name] and move on from the rest.
Ps a friend if mine has the nickname mars…
Oh and I hope you start feeling better!
I think it’s harder because she’s your last child. I’ve been frustrated with the naming process (not quite as badly as you, I didn’t have an unnamed baby, mine were either previously named or had a name within hours of birth) and bitter. I’ve had favorites shot down, but always in the end I have used a name I have loved. But now that I’m pregnant with my last child I feel much the same as you do, in mourning for all those great loves that I will never get to use, and I’m sadder for it. But I also don’t want to keep having babies.
I think you’ve gotten a lot of good ideas from everyone else, and I haven’t really got anything new to add, but I just wanted to write a note and tell you the mourning thing is not something abnormal for us name junkies! <3
Your post nearly brought me to tears. I can really empathize with you. I don’t have first name regret with my daughter, but I do have regret about her middle name. It was also borne out of the exhaustion of post-natal life and a husband who didn’t like any of my suggestions. In the end, with time ticking and forms needing to be completed, I let him pick the mn, even though it was a name I hated and had previously strongly vetoed, mostly because I was so in love with my daughter that I felt especially grateful to and in love with my husband and felt good about letting him get his way.
Once that wore off (ha ha) I had massive name regret. After several months of angst we legally added a second middle name. Now I somewhat regret doing that, because it isn’t like it erased the original middle name (which I just couldn’t bring myself to do), and I’m not sold on having two mns, but here we are.
The thing I relate to most in your post is the feeling of guilt and shame about not loving your own child’s name. It is a horrible feeling and made me feel like a bad mother - both for not naming her something I felt good about, and then for not being able to love her name once it actually was her name given I love HER so much!! It is still something that really bothers me, and I still can’t find a way to love the name.
All this by way of saying… If you want to change the name legally, it isn’t too late. Really. That said, you might have cognitive dissonance about doing so (as I did) and the odd raised eyebrow (although who really cares about that - in the scheme of things it would be soon forgotten). I think using the mn [name]Louisa[/name] as her usual name would be totally fine - and perhaps your husband could get on board since he likes [name]Lou[/name]. I love both [name]Marta[/name] and [name]Louisa[/name] with your sibset. [name]Marta[/name] could also definitely be a pet name. Who cares if it’s a stretch! You’re the mom!
I wish I had better advice about how to grow to love the name. It has been more than 2 years and I still don’t love my dd’s name, despite loving her to death. I still feel like I’ve failed her in some way with respect to it. This sounds so sad and pathetic. Perhaps some Berries out there should start a name counselling service. I could be their first customer and perhaps you could be number two.
((Hugs))
Hugs. This sounds awful. Have you spoken about your feelings with your husband at all? What does he think?
For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s too late to change it, out loud or on paper. It won’t confuse her, and though it might throw a couple of adults off, they’ll get over it.
[name]Maren[/name]'s a cool name, and everyone has different approaches to naming, but there’s nothing wrong with being a little indecisive. Maybe try some different things out and see what sticks?
[name]Maren[/name] is a lovely name. I love how the meaning relates to the sea. I am super drawn to names that have water meanings because I love the ocean and when I think of someone with a “sea” name I think of them as free spirited and somewhat intellectual. That is just my take on it. I also love the nickname options! [name]Mar[/name], [name]May[/name]-lou, [name]Mari[/name]-lou… etc., but I think [name]Maren[/name] stands well on its own too. You chose a good name! If you really don’t feel right about it I don’t think it is a stretch to swap the middle and first. She would still have the same names! Like others have said, it may take more time, but [name]Maren[/name] will probably grow to fit right into her name and love it!
Her full name was [name]Katie[/name] [name]Scarlett[/name]. 
I agree with several previous posts…it can be quite common to call a child by his/her middle name. I know of many who go by their middle names. If this causes friction between you and your husband, and you still love [name]Marta[/name] as a name, I think that is a completely plausible nickname for [name]Maren[/name]. If it matters any, I like your daughter’s name. It’s lovely. i understand that’s not what your post is about, but thought I’d tell you anyway 
So, how about calling her [name]Louisa[/name] or [name]Marta[/name]? And [name]Maren[/name] can just look pretty on paper…
I also love the name [name]Maren[/name] and I think [name]Maren[/name] [name]Louisa[/name] is beautiful. I’m trying to convince dh of [name]Louise[/name] as middle name and he’s said no, so I consider you lucky.
Personally I would recommend against her being known by her middle name. I am known by my middle name, have been since the day I was born, because my parents liked the flow better. Having never gone by my first name I did not relate at all to the name, didn’t turn around when people called it, etc. But because it was my legal first name I had to have it on passport, driver license, phone bill, etc. It got even more confusing when I got married. I then had four names because I did not want to completely abandon my maiden name and you can’t change your first name without going to court. So my legal name was this new last name and a first name that was never me. Not so good. In the end I changed my legal name in court and abandoned my given first name altogether, which I still have not told my mom about because she would be sad that the name she so carefully chose for me is not my name anymore! It has felt like such a relief, I now love looking at official documents with my middle name as my real legal first name. Someday I will start a thread on this topic because I can say from firsthand experience it’s not a great scenario.
Good luck to you and congratulations on your new baby.
[name]Maren[/name] is on our list, I absolutely love it! Have you thought of calling her [name]Ren[/name]?
My name is [name]Lauren[/name] and that is my nickname I might be a little biased but I love it
I have regrets about my daughters name, she is 4, my ex husband had most of input so it is [name]Gianna[/name] DeVoe after his grandfather [name]Gene[/name] DeVoe. But I call her [name]GiGi[/name] or Gi, its my own way to claim her and its special to me.
I was just going to suggest calling her [name]Ren[/name]/[name]Wren[/name]. I think it is a perfect nickname! [name]Wren[/name] is such an adorable name in the first place that it would be lovely as a nickname for [name]Maren[/name]. GL.
First of all, congratulations on having three daughters. That sounds absolutely lovely. [name]Maren[/name] [name]Louisa[/name] is a gorgeous name!! I have always loved [name]Maren[/name], and [name]Louisa[/name] is one of my top-ten favorite girl names.
[name]How[/name] does your husband feel about the fact that [name]Maren[/name] is getting mispronounced? Is he aware that you are agonizing over your daughter’s name? Under the circumstances, I would ask him how he feels about switching the names around to [name]Louisa[/name] [name]Maren[/name]. If you two do that, you are not really “changing” the name, you are simply adjusting it to work in a way that would bring a measure of peace and joy to you over her name. That is well worth the effort, in my opinion!
Your daughter’s name is both GORGEOUS and means Sea Warrior. There are a lot of really great things about her name. I understand, however, that knowing all the great things about something and thinking something is great are very different things. I hope you will learn ot love it over time. I knew a girl named [name]Mari[/name] once, which was really cute. That’s a possible nickname.
For what it’s worth, I love your daughter’s name. [name]Maren[/name] [name]Louisa[/name] is beautiful. But I understand the feeling of regret and that a name just isn’t right. I felt this way with my 2nd daughter, and, to be honest, even 4 1/2 years later, I wish I had named her something else. I’ve come to accept her name and have no plans to change it, but I still have some regrets. [name]One[/name] good thing in all of this is that you love her middle name, [name]Louisa[/name]. If I were you, I would start calling her this. You’d probably want to talk it through with your husband, but I don’t think you have to worry about anyone outside your immediate family - they’ll get on board. The nickname options that others suggested are really great too. FTR, I call my 2nd daughter entirely by her nickname ([name]Molly[/name]) that isn’t that obviously related to her legal first name ([name]Mary[/name]). I put it on all the doctor’s office and school forms and everyone refers to her as this. It’s actually pretty common for people to go by a name that’s not actually their first name.
I went through something sort of similar- basically I let my husband name our daughter the second she came out and then felt later like I didnt even think it over properly. Yes, [name]Zoe[/name] was on the list… but for weeks and weeks afterwards I was unsure if it was the right name for her. I also hated that I passed up on giving her mine and my mothers middle name and know that my Mom felt disappointed it by it too. I dont know what to tell you, except that my daughter is two and [name]Zoe[/name] suits her personality really well. She is smart, funny, outgoing and athletic. But I admit, it drives me crazy how trendy the name is, she was born overseas and if I would have known how popular it was I would have reconsidered certainly. I am pregnant with my 2nd and we are again not agreeing on names and plan to decide after we see the baby. I know this time I wont be so quick to let a decision be made!
I think what everyone is telling you, that time will heal how you feel, definitely has some truth in it. Know too that even though it wasnt your first choice, the name really is lovely and over time Im sure you wont be able to imagine her as anything else! Im so sorry its been such a tough experience for you. You are not alone!
I think it is cute that both [name]Marta[/name] and [name]Louisa[/name] are from the Sound of [name]Music[/name]. Very classic pretty names. I say call her [name]Louisa[/name] if you don’t like [name]Maren[/name] so much now.
[name]Just[/name] call her [name]Louisa[/name]? Or call her by a totally different name. My little sister’s name is [name]Elizabeth[/name] [name]Renee[/name] and we’ve called her [name]Mina[/name] since she was born!
What about the nickname [name]Marlo[/name]? (sorry if it’s already been suggested)
Otherwise like the others have suggested, start calling her [name]Louisa[/name] Better now than later I guess, and she’ll always have [name]Maren[/name] to fall back on when she’s older.
I think you should change it to what you want. I have five children my husband was difficult with everyone of them. I changed the name of my 3rd ds when he was 2 weeks old and my 2nd dd name when she was 6 months. At first I felt bad about changing the name my husband liked so much but you know what she is 18 months now and he has never said a word. I talk about her name all the time, it means so much to me. I dont think husbands trully understand even when you try to explain it to them. If your husband agrees to whatever name you want then please change it. I hope this does not come off to harsh I just have been through this and hope you are happy.
Oh my goodness you poor thing. This is exactly the situation I worried about getting into b/c my husband seems to be exactly the same way. The first thung I would want to ask is does he know how you feel? If he knew how tormented you were do you think he would be willing to worken with you more on finding a solution. The second thing is that, you know, it really wouldnt be THATu big of a deal if you changed her name, she is only 5 months old and the longer you wait the harder that will become. I know people whose parental changed their name when they were babies and theyve never known the difference. Lastly, why can’t she just go by her middle name? My sister has since the day she was born. Why have two names if we can’t use both. [name]Just[/name] let family and friends know you’ve decided to call her louisa instead b/c that’s the name that feels right to you and leave it at that. You don’t need to offer a long explanation that leaves it open to discussion. Then go out and treat yourself by buying something with her name “[name]Louisa[/name]” embroidered on it. 
[name]Just[/name] GO WITH YOUR GUT. At the very least have the discussion with your husband, let him know how you really feel, you won’t regret at least trying but you might regret NOT trying.
And just so you know, if she stays [name]Maren[/name], it is a darling name too and the more she grows and develops her own personality it will likely grow on you too. But you owe it to yourself right now to at least try to make the change if that’s what you want for her. Good luck! Keep us posted!