Please help

Our daughter is a month old and has no name. We cannot decide on a name and have had so many arguments about it it’s got to the point I feel like the memory of choosing her name is completely ruined. [name_f]Every[/name_f] name we get close to deciding I have a wobble about and then my husband says I’ve tainted the name. I just don’t know what to do and have realised we are just incompatible in terms of communication

hi hi! i’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling with your daughter’s name :yellow_heart:

i just looked at some of your previous posts, and elowen & maeve are both lovely options, if you’re still debating them! especially elowen-- she certainly seems to be the name for you.

however, some suggestions i’d give based off of those would be:

[name_f]Eleanor[/name_f]
[name_f]May[/name_f] or [name_f]Mae[/name_f]
[name_f]Margot[/name_f]
[name_f]Luna[/name_f]
[name_u]Ivy[/name_u]
[name_f]Alice[/name_f]
[name_f]Penelope[/name_f]

a little side note meant to encourage you! i won't pretend to understand what you're struggling with, but you sound quite stressed out, and sometimes it helps to remember that you're not alone.

and i’d just like to add that everything is going to be okay. it might sound strange to say, but even if you pick a name that both you and your husband are just ‘meh’ on, your daughter will be okay!
when my mother found out that she could not use the name she’d always wanted for me (at practically the last second of her pregnancy, too!) she ended up just giving me an honor name that my father suggested-- now, she and my father are both perfectly happy with my name, and we’ve agreed that it suits me just as well as the original would have.

stay strong, and think of how much you love your little munchkin! everything is going to be okay, and whatever name you give her will most likely come to suit her in the end.

7 Likes

That first month post partum is so tough!

Have you tried any out for a day or two, to see if things feel right? I think it can be normal to have a wobble about a name and then also to end up feeling as though it’s meant to be once it’s firmly connected to your child.

2 Likes

Is it possible that you have a name or two that were particularly meaningful to you aside from the sound alone?
Perhaps you can revisit those and find that the significance is what will pull you to the name rather than the asthetics?
Congrats, postpartum is so hard as it is… I’m sorry you have this stress on top of it.

1 Like

You are absolutely not alone ! I also feel like my partner and I are at different ends of the spectrum when it comes to names .

Someone had mentioned you liked [name_f]Elowen[/name_f]. I think [name_f]Elowen[/name_f] is beautiful. I love that it has several nicknames -which I think is an added bonus . It feels very unique as I have never met one IRL , but the name sounds so poetic

1 Like

Maybe you could find some inspiration from her birthstone or birth month, [name_u]Robin[/name_u] [name_u]Ivy[/name_u] [name_f]Noelle[/name_f] [name_f]Topaz[/name_f] or… these two came to mind.

[name_u]Seren[/name_u] - Meaning star and linked to serendipity
[name_f]Merrin[/name_f] - Cornish, [name_f]Pearl[/name_f] of the sea

Congratulations on your baby girl :sparkling_heart:

So sorry you’re having such a stressful time with it!

Maybe just deciding to commit to a name with confidence would help you more than having THE perfect name – just to get a break from this indecisive stage. I like the suggestion of choosing something associated with her birthstone or birth month, something that can feel almost like a magical given rather than a choice you’ll keep doubting. [name_u]Or[/name_u], try fully embracing a name you thought you liked, like [name_f]Elowen[/name_f] or [name_f]Maeve[/name_f]! [name_f]Every[/name_f] name can have a potential wobble-inducing problem, so maybe decide not to linger over the potential downsides. Easier said than done, of course!!

But I also want to echo previous commenters in reassuring you that it will be okay! It’s easy to put an infinite amount of pressure on the choice of the name, but this one thing will not define your daughter’s identity or life. And don’t feel bad about it taking a little longer — in some cultures babies aren’t named for months, going by generic terms of endearment throughout the newborn phase!

1 Like

Hugs! It is such an intense time and I hope you can give yourselves a break, hormones, tensions and everything run very high those first few weeks.

You have some lovely ideas and I like the suggestion of trying out a name for a day or two to see how it fits.

Our fourth baby was unnamed for 5 weeks as we couldn’t agree and in the end we compromised on something neither of us love loved and he’s been called by his middle name (Fox) ever since. And that’s fine, it’s all part of his story and lots of known by their middle name.

As it happens I always find it difficult in those first few weeks , to actually call the baby by the name we’ve chosen, even when we’re happy with the name! There is something about it, perhaps it’s permanence or finite nature that strikes me, again at a time of intense feelings, so you are definitely not alone on feeling lots of different feelings about names.

2 Likes

[name_u]Holly[/name_u] is the birth plant of [name_u]December[/name_u], would you consider that?

Maybe [name_f]May[/name_f], [name_f]Hope[/name_f], [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f], [name_f]Sara[/name_f], [name_f]Noelle[/name_f], [name_f]Natalia[/name_f]!

What about picking a name that offers a lot of options? That way maybe you like one aspect and your hubs likes another but they both work. Like Gwendolyn!? You have so many options, [name_f]Gwen[/name_f], [name_f]Gwennie[/name_f], [name_f]Wendy[/name_f], [name_f]Winnie[/name_f], [name_u]Lyn[/name_u], [name_f]Lynnie[/name_f] , etc. With that in mind here are some cute combos:

[name_f]Gwendolyn[/name_f] [name_f]Eve[/name_f]

[name_f]Arwen[/name_f] [name_f]Mabel[/name_f]

[name_f]Mariah[/name_f] [name_f]Claire[/name_f]

[name_f]Elodie[/name_f] [name_f]Nora[/name_f]

[name_f]Madeline[/name_f] [name_f]Lyra[/name_f]

[name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] [name_f]Cora[/name_f]

[name_f]Mariana[/name_f] [name_f]Bridget[/name_f]

[name_u]Juniper[/name_u] [name_f]Ciara[/name_f]

[name_f]Marissa[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f]

[name_f]Eloise[/name_f] [name_f]Pearl[/name_f]

[name_f]Margot[/name_f] [name_u]Rowan[/name_u]

[name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] [name_f]Mae[/name_f]

[name_f]Maisie[/name_f] [name_f]Liv[/name_f]

[name_f]Calla[/name_f] [name_f]Mavis[/name_f]

[name_u]Emerson[/name_u] [name_u]Marie[/name_u]

[name_f]Margaret[/name_f] [name_u]Erin[/name_u]

[name_u]Bellamy[/name_u] [name_f]Freya[/name_f]

[name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] [name_f]Gail[/name_f]

[name_u]Madison[/name_u] [name_f]Joy[/name_f]

[name_f]Alice[/name_f] [name_f]Maya[/name_f]

[name_f]Elsie[/name_f] [name_f]Ava[/name_f]

[name_f]Belinda[/name_f] [name_f]Neve[/name_f]

[name_f]Dorothy[/name_f] [name_f]Olive[/name_f]

[name_f]Macy[/name_f] [name_f]Eva[/name_f]

[name_u]Ivy[/name_u] [name_f]Malia[/name_f]

[name_f]Marlena[/name_f] [name_f]Helen[/name_f]

[name_u]Avery[/name_u] [name_u]Dove[/name_u]

[name_f]Mara[/name_f] [name_f]Ethel[/name_f]

[name_f]Deidra[/name_f] [name_f]Ruth[/name_f]

[name_f]Moira[/name_f] [name_f]Grace[/name_f]

1 Like