Please tell me that I'm crazy!

So we had our final list all narrowed down for girl names- [name_f]Audrey[/name_f], [name_f]Hazel[/name_f], [name_f]Iris[/name_f], [name_f]Violet[/name_f], and [name_u]Vivian[/name_u]- and then I was reading different threads on here and saw a name that I absolutely love for a girl, [name_u]Spencer[/name_u].

It’s definitely not my usual style and is a total boys name. Typically I actually like boy names on girls- [name_u]Blake[/name_u], [name_u]Drew[/name_u], [name_u]Cameron[/name_u], [name_u]Sawyer[/name_u]- but I never thought this name was one that could work on a girl. My husband would never agree to add it to our list and I think it would totally confuse people when they read [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] and expect a boy but get a girl. Please confirm that this is ridiculous, what your first impression of a girl with this name would be, and whether or not this is a bad idea!

Maybe I’m subconsciously throwing curveballs to myself since I’m having such a hard time narrowing down our list even further.

You’re crazy. You’re welcome :wink:

  1. My first impression… well I’d roll my eyes whilst trying to be polite.
  2. Yes it’s a bad idea.

You’re NOT crazy :slight_smile: [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] is my middle name and I absolutely [name_f]LOVE[/name_f] it! I want to name my baby girl [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] so badly but my last name is Schneider so that is just a little too matchy when you say the two together. Also, if you’re familiar with the show Pretty [name_m]Little[/name_m] Liars, one of the 4 main characters is named [name_u]Spencer[/name_u], they call her “[name_u]Spence[/name_u]” from time to time and she’s my favorite character on the show - so put together and smart. She will make you love the name even more :wink: I think you should totally do it.

Eh, I dislike it. I heard it used on a girl a few years ago and thought it was particularly bad, honestly. I’m against boy-names-on-girls as a whole, I know there’s a huge discussion but it comes down to the fact it’s sexist.

[name_f]Iris[/name_f], [name_f]Violet[/name_f] etc are gorgeous.

Plus it’s unusable in the UK anyway because of Marks and Spencers’ :slight_smile:

I’m okay with unisex names, so I wouldn’t call it a horrible idea.

However, I do think you are right and are maybe psyching yourself out since you’re having trouble narrowing down your list as it stands. If your husband doesn’t like it, then it’s probably not realistic anyhow.

I actually knew a girl from summer camp named [name_u]Spencer[/name_u]. She fit the name [name_f]IMO[/name_f], kind of nerdy and awkward but hilarious. But she hated it and was considering changing it when she got older. She had a lot of confusion at camp and people even thought she switched name tags. [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] also has no feminine nicknames like some of the softer sounding boys’ names (like [name_u]Elliot[/name_u]) that could work on girls.

I’m also against boy names on girls, but [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] just doesn’t work. However, the rest of your list is beautiful.

I don’t really get the ‘sexist’ argument. The name [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] is a surname based on the profession of dispensing of funding for running manors. [name_m]Just[/name_m] because ‘depencers’ were not women, doesn’t mean a woman couldn’t do the job–or carry the name. I say, go for it.

The conversation went like this…

Me: What about [name_u]Spencer[/name_u]?
Dh: I don’t like it as much as [name_m]Eli[/name_m] or [name_u]Emmett[/name_u]. I can’t see myself calling a boy…
Me: No. [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] for a girl.
Dh: Did you drink too much cough syrup?

[name_u]Spencer[/name_u] for a girl is unusual but not outlandish. Unisex names are hated by some people, but if you like it, it’s fine.

The problem, and it’s a big one, are sibling names.

[name_u]Spencer[/name_u] is an extreme outlier on your larger list. By picking [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] for this pregnancy, you are limiting your future choices. You did a mention a few other unisex names that you liked, but [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] is vastly different from what you are calling your final list for this baby. The only potentially unisex name on that list is [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] and is that even truly unisex anymore? Not by a long shot.

I think if you can think up a few sibling groups that include a female [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] that you and your husband like, and are comfortable letting you of your more uber-feminine choices like [name_f]Audrey[/name_f], it’s fine. Otherwise, relegate to the middle name or fantasy spot.

Good luck!

I knew an annoying male [name_u]Spencer[/name_u], but my first impression for a female [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] would be “Southern”, and I’d wonder if she was really [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] or [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] [name_u]Spencer[/name_u], with [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] being her mother’s maiden name-- sort of debutante [name_f]Alabama[/name_f] Republican style. I knew a [name_u]Collins[/name_u] and a [name_u]Cameron[/name_u], both from the South, whose actual first names were in that vein.

The reason why giving a girl a boys’ name is sexist is because you are basically saying that masculine names are better than feminine names. Often times advocates for boys-names-on-girls say that their daughters will be able to make it better in the real world if they have a boys’ name, because employers tend to prefer men over women. Also, people who name their daughters [name_u]Michael[/name_u] don’t typically name their sons [name_f]Isabella[/name_f].
That didn’t make much sense, I’m not very eloquent, but long story short you shouldn’t name your daugher [name_u]Spencer[/name_u]. You have so many other beautiful names on your list, too!
Also, on the Nameberry description page for Spencer, it describes it as being a powerful choice. Why? Because Spencer is masculine? That would imply that feminine names are not as powerful as masculine names.

Your girls list with [name_f]Violet[/name_f], [name_f]Iris[/name_f], [name_u]Vivian[/name_u], etc is so beautiful, all the names are feminine and sweet. [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] sounds really masculine to me, more masculine than [name_u]Blake[/name_u] or [name_u]Sawyer[/name_u]. It reminds me of a TV show, I can’t remember which, but the older brother was named [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] and he always set things on fire by accident. That is what I think of, and isn’t [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] a shoe brand? I think you are just second guessing yourself, stick to your list.

I vote against using [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] on a girl, for two reasons, which have already been mentioned but deserve repeating :slight_smile:
1)you’re really limiting your options for sibling names down the line (if I saw [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] and any of the other names on your list together, I’d assume that you had a boy and a girl. Or if your second is a boy, pretty much no matter what boys names you’d pick, I’d still think you had two sons)
2)your girls names on the final list are all so pretty and I’d love to meet any of those names in person, so I can’t imagine scrapping that list for… [name_u]Spencer[/name_u]. It doesn’t shine in comparison to your other choices.

I could go with a girl [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] if the name was in the family tree and it was an honoring name, a la the Southern tradition. But as a random pick, no.
I’m partial to [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] myself!

I really like [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] on a boy, so I don’t like to see it on girls, haha. :slight_smile: And I agree that it could somewhat limit you in sibling names. If you name another daughter something like [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] (very frilly and feminine) people would probably assume that [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] was a boy.

I do not have a problem with most unisex names, and I think [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] would be cute on a girl but I’m not a fan, and I can see where pp points out that if you choose [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] for a girl, then had another girl and chose something like [name_f]Violet[/name_f] or [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] then it would seem like you had a girl and boy.
Also I HATE [name_u]Sawyer[/name_u] on a girl, [name_u]Sawyer[/name_u] is a BOYS NAME!

Your original list has gorgeous names that you wouldn’t ever regret. Use on of those rather than worrying about [name_u]Spencer[/name_u]. If you worry enough about it to ask an opinion that’s a good sign you’re not that confident about it.

Are you pregnant? Then, yes, you’re crazy! :slight_smile:

I automatically think of Pretty [name_m]Little[/name_m] Liars. I don’t mind boys names on girls but I think your original list is so classy and vastly prefer those names over [name_u]Spencer[/name_u]. I think [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] could make a really cool middle name. I like [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] [name_u]Spencer[/name_u]. But it sort of sounds like that’s her first and last name instead of a middle name.

We have an 11 month old son names [name_m]Jack[/name_m]. We’re TTC so not pregnant yet but we like to have names picked before we find out the gender.

So the whole sibling thing is a good point. I knew for several reasons that we wouldn’t wind up using it.

I am having such hard time picking from our list that I think I was trying or looking for something different. I’m just second guessing myself.

I think of Lady [name_f]Diana[/name_f] [name_u]Spencer[/name_u]…I think [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] could definitely work on a girl. If you give her a girly middle name, fewer will be confused-- just introduce her that way: “[name_u]Spencer[/name_u] [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], born [name_u]January[/name_u] 7.”

I had a teacher who had a daughter named spencer. I hate the name for a boy but everytime she talked about her “spencer” I couldn’t help but smile at how cute. I have to warn you though, I have a daughter named [name_u]Cameron[/name_u] and ppl always assume she is a boy. Everyone told me not to give her that name but being young I didn’t listen… I wish I did.