This is my first post over here in the mom berry thread After endless discussions, my SO and I have decided that we will be TTC starting in [name_u]December[/name_u]/[name_u]January[/name_u]. I know 5-6 months is a decent chunk of time but I feel like [name_u]December[/name_u] will be here before we know it! I am a very practical person and I like some degree of preparedness (this would be our first child) so this brings me to the reason of this post: is there anything you moms would recommend doing or that I absolutely should be doing BEFORE even trying to conceive?
I know once the baby is actually on the way there are lots of things to do (set up the nursery, prep some frozen meals, enjoy all the sleep you can get etc) but I’m curious if there’s any sort of “bucket list” essential stuff to do before all that. All we have thought of so far is to read into our health insurance policies and to finish a couple projects around the house. I feel like there’s so much more to do though! What other practicalities are we missing? Is there anything we should do as a couple as well? Am I overthinking this? Sorry if this is a silly question! Any insight is greatly appreciated!
TAKE A [name_m]NAP[/name_m]. WATCH NETFLIX. GO TO THE MOVIES. SLEEP IN. GO ON VACATION. Pretty much anything you find relaxing, because it will never be the same. [name_f]Do[/name_f] some arts and crafts, any hobbies that you like. That will be the first to go. Along with the sleep.
Might seem pessimistic to some, but it’s really just realistic. Having a family is a beautiful and fulfilling thing. But your life will NEVER be the same. So relax all you can, you won’t ever get that feeling back again.
I’m pregnant with our first baby and I have to say that once you are pregnant sleeping and relaxing is not nearly as easy as you’d think. Since the first trimester I’ve had on and off back pain which means that exercise and summer hikes are no longer an option. Traveling is also harder since even a short drive leads to hip and back pain and plenty of bathroom breaks. I found that even going to the movies is hard. So my advice is to do whatever it is you like while you still can. I imagine it’s equally as hard, if not harder, to go out and do things once baby is here so really do whatever you’ve been wanting to do. DH and I have been splurging a lot on restaurants lately since I love to eat now and I’m sure we will be homebodies once our little princess is here. Sorry if I made it sound horrible, but I was not prepared to lose most of my hobbies and I wish someone had told me. Oh and just because my pregnancy has been this way doesn’t mean yours will and in many ways I’ve been blessed with a mostly easy pregnancy so far. So go out and have fun now as a couple and enjoy your freedom!
I would go on a trip, just the two of you. Someplace you’ve always wanted to go but don’t imagine taking kids along. My partner and I took a year off of work to travel. We started off with Eastern Europe, and then [name_f]Africa[/name_f], Vietnam, [name_f]India[/name_f] and finally South [name_u]America[/name_u]. This trip was also very important because it really made us realize that in all the hardships of traveling (it being many times just the two of us in places we had never stepped foot before and didn’t speak the language of), that we could really count on one another for support. It made us feel even more sure that we wanted to be together and raise a family.
I also recomment what a previous poster did: sleep in, binge watch on Netflix, go out more with your other half, go to the movies, ride a bike once in a while… read the books you really want to read, work on your master’s degree or doctorate’s degree (your education in general), start learning an instrument or a language… That sort of stuff.
I third or fourth the other people who said to go on vacation with your spouse if possible. It was a smart move for my DH and I to go on a nice trip a few months before I got pregnant.
I am 39 years old and I was diagnosed with poor ovarian reserve and very bad prognosis of having a baby with my own eggs. I was even given the option to consider donor eggs. That was around july 2014. I was absolutely devastated with the news and I arranged an IVF for [name_u]November[/name_u] 2014 and it failed also, given that I had nothing to lose, I contacted on facebook (Oduduwa Ajakaye) and he send me his herbal product,. Believe it or not… I am already pregnant!
Go on a trip! My partner and I did a big 6 week trip around Europe and not only did we savour every minute, but we made memories that are priceless and really precious to us as a couple. It was consciously our last “hurrah” as just two people, and it made the trip even more special.
More practically:
*make sure you’re happy with your workplace and that you’re somewhere that is going to be supportive during pregnancy, maternity leave, and offer flexible work arrangements when you come back. Make sure you understand your maternity leave entitlements and your sick leave entitlements properly. If they aren’t great and you have the opportunity, think about looking for work in the next few months that gives you better support.
*Have a think about what your daycare arrangements will be - family, community or for-profit. If you think your family will want to help out, discuss this with them now, so you don’t feel let down or surprised.
*Make sure you’re happy with your doctor. Cannot stress this enough. TTC can be more emotional than you think. You need to have a doctor that is good with fertility, and that you trust.
*If you have a history of any illnesses that might affect fertility or your general health, get them stabilised as best you can. Get into shape (I started jogging 6 months before we TTC’d and I am SOO grateful I did. I have more energy and am less stressed. It makes me feel like I’ve done my body and my future baby a great favour.)
*If you’re not on birth control, start charting now (at least keep a good record of when you have your period, how long it goes for, and any changes you notice during the cycle). It’s good to know your cycle well now, not when you start TTC).
[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t:
buy clothes, shoes etc
stress
take anyone’s advice too seriously. You will never be 100% prepared - so just enjoy this last stress-free time, because the stress will start as soon as you start TTC (watching your body like a hawk for signs of ovulation, conception and implantation is more draining that you think).
Well our bucket list before trying was to basically have a home and then what we considered a good amount in savings (enough to cover in case husband lost his job AND extra on top of that to cover baby - not as much though since you do get 9 more months to save up!).
I would recommend to get anything out of your system now that you can’t do when pregnant, like ride a roller coaster or scuba diving. Enjoy a rare steak or glass of wine, things you won’t be able to eat when pregnant as well.
If you are overweight, try to lose some now it will make it easier to TTC. Also I think it’s a good idea to be prepared that it might not happen right away, a healthy couple can take up to a year to conceive (took us 9 months and I have PCOS). I was not expecting use to have any trouble, but that wasn’t the case for us. People are so quick to make it sound like it happens right away, but in some cases it doesn’t and it would’ve been nice to know that it was normal beforehand.
I agree with everyone regarding just living your life and doing fun things that will be harder to do with a little one.
Also agree with trying to lead a healthy life style if you aren’t already.
Look for an OB that you like if you don’t have one already.
Figure out your health insurance, but it sounds like you are on top of that. Eventually, sort out your wills, etc, but that can wait until you are pregnant.
To be super boring, get your expenses down as much as possible and save save save. Our situation was a little different as we used a lot of savings on the three rounds of IVF it took us to get pregnant, but I wish we’d gotten used to living more leanly before our son was born so I could have stretched out my maternity leave a little longer. Between pregnancy (scans, tests, OB fees if you go with one), setting up the nursery, buying all the things you want/need, medical costs if your little one is not well and not working for months it’s surprising how fast the money goes. If you get used to living on one income now that would help. Your income could then be used for that trip together just the two of you
A couple of boring things that haven’t been suggested yet:
Get a dental check-up and any dental work you need so you can avoid xrays while pregnant.
Have a doctor check your immunity to things like chicken pox and measles.
Start taking prenatal vitamins a few months before you plan to TTC.
After endless discussions, my SO and I have decided that we will be TTC starting in [name_u]December[/name_u]/[name_u]January[/name_u]. I know 5-6 months is a decent chunk of time but I feel like [name_u]December[/name_u] will be here before we know it! I am a very practical person and I like some degree of preparedness (this would be our first child) so this brings me to the reason of this post: is there anything you moms would recommend doing or that I absolutely should be doing BEFORE even trying to conceive?