My daughter will be turning 3 soon and several family members are pushing us to enroll her in Pre School. I feel she’ll be far too young in the fall. I mean, It seems like she has just got out of diapers! She’s still my baby and I want to spend more quality time with her before I go back to work and send her to school. (I’m a stay at home Mom and my [name_f]MIL[/name_f] is really pushing for me to go back to work…. )
I wondered how other Mom Berries have handled the Pre School / Back to work dilemma ?
You are doing what is right for you. [name_f]Do[/name_f] not feel pressured by others to rush her into daycare. You are lucky enough to have this time with her which I am sure you will never regret.
I took time off from my career after having my first child. Many people did not understand, especially after spending so many years in university and working so hard to make a mark for myself. I am thrilled we were able to be together until Kindergarten began.
I completely agree with Cleaver. Although my kids aren’t yet school age and I am currently a SAHM, my family members are pressuring me to enroll my toddler in day care (which is very expensive by the way!) so she can learn social skills (she’s shy around strangers). I tell them to go have their own kids, these are mine and I will raise them my way. For the older generations, I tell them they had their chance to be parents, now it’s time for them to mind their own business. I am not very popular!! But this is time you will never be able to get back with your child. YOUR child. You did all the work to conceive, carry, and birth a tiny human, and now you should reap the rewards of quality time. For adoptive parents too-- they put in a lot of hard work as well and should get to parent their child without harassment from in-laws.
I have to say it’s not a dilemma for me, since I’ve got no other option than going back to work in a few months. We can’t afford to lose the income. But I understand that it’s hard for you. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t let anyone pressure you into something you don’t feel ready for or that doesn’t feel right.
I don’t know how I’m gonna handle it when I’m gonna have to take my only a few months old son into daycare. So if you do have the chance to stay at home with your daughter for a longer time and that’s what you want, don’t let your [name_f]MIL[/name_f] tell you otherwise.
Thank you @x14556 
@antonelle it is very kind of you to be so supportive of someone who is doing something different than you. The subject of returning to work and daycare can often pit mothers working outside the house against those who are staying at home.
@milly11199 iit may help to keep in mind when dealing with people like your mil sometimes returning to work is not very profitable. Daycare can be extremely costly combined with expenses for travel to and from work and daycare, work attire, coffees and lunches out etc
You know your child and family situation better than anyone, so don’t let other family members push you in one direction or another. My cousin put her multiples in a private preschool for half days when they were 2, and still in diapers. It works for them, especially since it gives her time to run errands, but just because it works for some children doesn’t mean it works for all of them. They will always pressure you about something, and it’s not like they are going to cover the financial costs.
Agree 100% with other posters, this is a decision for the parents of the child, you and your partner. Your [name_f]MIL[/name_f] doesn’t come into it. What’s it to her anyway? Unless she is contributing financially to your household? If your family can afford for you to be home and you and your partner agree that this is the best set-up, then absolutely do it.
My baby started in full-time daycare at 8 months old and does fine (she’s now almost a year). I went back to work when she was 6 months and then my partner finished up his parental leave for another 2 months. If we’d had more parental leave, we probably would have kept her home longer I suppose, but personally I was happy to go back to work because I enjoy my job and it is an important part of my identity. We all three found it a little stressful when my boyfriend also went back to work and she had to start daycare, but after we got through the transition and Freyja bonded with her caregiver it’s been mostly plain sailing (some interpersonal problems between us and the caregiver, no problems with Freyja through). Some Icelandic parents stay home a little longer than we did and we might consider it for the next child, but almost all Icelandic children start playschool between the ages of 1 and 2, sometimes a little after the 2nd birthday and when it’s later it’s because they had trouble getting a place.
It was never a dilemma for us, because both of us want to work and the financial logistics of that work out great. It doesn’t really sound like it’s a real dilemma for you if you take your [name_f]MIL[/name_f] (and other family members outside of your household) out of the equation? Seems like you are pretty certain you want to stay home and I assume your partner agrees that this is a good idea and that you can afford it. So there’s no issue, right! Stay confident in your decision!
I just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for your great advice! Wow, what a great group for you to take the time to help me with such a personal issue. I have decided to keep her home for another year and to stay home with her as well. We do get by with my husband’s income and I can totally give up some of those luxuries that my [name_f]MIL[/name_f] seems to think we need so badly. Besides, isn’t family all about love, support and sacrifice for each other? You all have really helped me to plead my case to her and I appreciate you all so much! Thanks again Nameberries… I can always count on you!