Pre-TTC

I recently started this thread, and several people liked the idea of a Pre-TTC thread, so here it is! This is for anyone who is not quite ready to TTC yet, but is planning on it in the near future. We can discuss our plans, progress on Pre-TTC goals, frustrations over not being able to TTC as soon as we’d like, whatever works!

[name_m]Just[/name_m] as a little introduction:
We’re probably going to start TTC some time next year. I was hoping we could start over the summer, but now it’s looking like my husband might be taking an additional semester to finish school, so we might be postponing a bit :(. Our goal is to get pregnant before/during his last semester, so we can have a baby fairly soon after graduation. I started to get baby hungry basically as soon as I graduated in [name_u]December[/name_u], so hopefully waiting that much longer won’t kill me!

Eek, so stoked for this thread! :smiley:

DH and I discussed options a little bit on babies (I turn 24 on the 18th, he’s 28 in [name_f]May[/name_f]). We’ve mostly set a financial goal. 30k saved for a house and an additional 5k for “cushion” before TTC. So it looks like sometime in the spring of 2017…it seems SO far away!

I’m excited for this thread! I’ve always wanted to be a mom, but since I’m not one yet, I can’t really take part in parenting threads. I’d love to talk thinking about TTC, but TTC groups are pretty tight so I don’t fit in there either.

My SO and I are 28, and we figure in 2-3 years we’ll start trying… which, the way we’re talking, will be our one and only child. We are definitely not ready right now, but we’re both looking forward to it. At the same time, I’m a big traveller, and he wants to travel, so we have some trips we’d like to take just the two of us. I am perfectly happy travelling frequently with a baby/ child as well, and I actually hope the 1 child situation we’re imagining would make it much easier to do so.
Ideally, I’d like to be married more than a year before TTC, so a lot of our timeline depends on when we get married. I’m trying to stay in the moment and not get all wedding crazy, as well as baby crazy.

What a fantastic idea. My SO and I will be getting married [name_u]August[/name_u] 15th of this year. I am 27 and he is 26 and we have been together since high school. I am so ready to ttc and start a family right after the wedding. We plan on trying right after the wedding. I will be completely happy to get knocked up on our honey moon.

Does infertility scare anyone else?? I have no rhyme or reason to be worried, but it’s always in the back of my head. I think because I want to be a mom so bad and soon. Made the issue worse by reading a “ttc”'book that has a huge section on infertility issues. GAH. I want to burn that book now.

I look forward to getting to know you all :slight_smile:

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] all! I’d love to join in here, I joined the TTC 2015 thread a few weeks ago and made myself at home… but we’re not actually going to be TTC until [name_f]July[/name_f]. I’m sure I’m allowed to be in both though :smiley: my daughter will turn three this month, and I am burning with baby fever. DH and I are both 29, I was ready to try for another child [name_u]January[/name_u] last year, but had to wait for DH to be ready too!

hayleymarie, I am trying not to freak out about all the variables, second time round I am much more aware of what can go wrong :S

@hayleymarie There is definitely a lot of doom and gloom surrounding fertility nowadays. It’s helpful to remember that plenty of people throughout history, even before IVF and all that, carried healthy babies into their 30s and 40s. 27 seems like a sweet spot to me :slight_smile:

I also am liking this thread! My husband and I are both 25 and have been married for almost two years. We are really enjoying just being us right now, but want to have kids in a few years. He wants 3, I want 2… we’ll see how that shakes out! He is also in a PhD program, so he wants to be done with school before we TTC. We are also planning on moving once his program is over so, yeah, there are a lot of variables. I am 100% down with graduating and moving while pregnant, maybe not with a newborn!

Here’s something that is a bit concerning to me, though: I don’t have a lot of experience with children. I am an only child and didn’t do a whole lot of babysitting as a teen (a few families, but not every weekend or something). My peers haven’t started having kids yet, and I am in the younger group of cousins, so no babies there either. I have thought about volunteering in the nursery at church, but I am afraid my lack of experience would put the wee ones in danger! [name_f]Do[/name_f] any of you have this same issue? Is there anything you recommend to get more experience interacting with kids?

This thread came at the perfect time for me. I’m seriously considering artificial insemination in the next 1-2 years. I’ve come to the realization that I want to be a mother more than I want a relationship. I’m only 23 and I know some people will tell me to wait for ‘that person’, but I’ve always saw myself as having children early on. I also have a medical condition that I will need injections for in the incoming years and they been known to cause fertility issues. I don’t want to wait and regret.

I do have a pretty long wait to go before I pick a donor because I need to lose a large amount of weight. Getting pregnant at the weight I’m currently at will most likely be very dangerous. That is probably one of my biggest challenges that I need to do before conceiving.

@ffennec
I would definitely look into volunteering. See if you can work aside someone with a few years of experience. Ask if you could observe instead of working hands on with the children for a couple days. Also don’t be scared to ask questions. Have you considered taking a child care class at a community college? Your church might also have them. Usually it’s for new or expecting moms, but I think they make exceptions.

[name_f]Do[/name_f] you have any friends of your parents with young children? If so, see if you can visit for a few hours with them around. If you’re close to them explain your situation and that you were looking for experience, but aren’t ready to go at it alone.

Some other ideas: volunteering to read at your local library or school, big sister little sister program, be a mothers helper or volunteering at a scouts/cubs meeting.

MEEEEEE! I know one girl who is only a few months older than me who has been trying to get pregnant for a while now… I think it’s been a year or two maybe? I don’t know how actively they’ve been trying or anything, but she posts things now and then about infertility and it has me totally freaked out! We also know a couple that was finally just able to adopt a baby, but they tried EVERYTHING before they gave up and turned to adoption.
I’ve also been seeing TONS of posts about people who struggled with fertility and ended up having triplets/quads when they did some sort of fertility treatment. Anyway, all of this has me a little worried.
I have an IUD right now, which has basically stopped my period, and from what I’ve read most people don’t have problems getting pregnant after that… BUT before I got the IUD, I had a very irregular cycle. I’ve always been that way, but when I was younger I assumed it was just because I was playing soccer and working out a LOT, which can mess with it… After high school it was still pretty random, so I decided to go get myself checked out. The doctor checked my hormone levels and said “I don’t see anything wrong, but come back if you have trouble getting pregnant…” THAT’S WHY I CAME TO THE [name_m]DOCTOR[/name_m]! I WANT TO BE [name_m]ABLE[/name_m] TO GET PREGNANT WHEN I’M READY!! But I wasn’t even close to trying to get pregnant at that point, so I decided I would just try not to worry about it. I talked with my mom about it after that, and I guess her cycles are really irregular as well. By ‘irregular’ I mean that I have gone 10 months without having a period at some times, and she said she had gone as much as 18 months, and even when it is coming more regularly it never seems to come on the day I’m expecting it… I never really tried charting my cycle though, so maybe it isn’t that bad… She was able to get pregnant with her first two easily enough (3 months after she got married and the 2nd was 23 months after the first, which I think was the gap she was shooting for) but she did take some fertility medication for at least the last baby, maybe the 3rd as well.
Anyway, I worry about it ALL THE TIME, so I would kind of like to get started as soon as we can… I’m even a little worried about what we’re going to do after the first baby, because we’ve talked to a few people who went back on birth control after a baby, and then it messed with their cycle and they weren’t able to get pregnant again after that.

Also, I’m excited that so many people are interested in this thread! I feel like a crazy person sometimes planning all this stuff out when we’re not actively trying, it’s good to know I’m not the only one!

@ikfly One of my major pre-TTC goals is losing weight! I’m shooting for 30 pounds, but mostly I just want to be healthier.

@ffennec I worry about not having a lot of experience with babies also. I am the oldest of 4, and I did a little baby sitting when I was younger, but I haven’t really been around babies much since I was a teenager. We did baby sit for a relative a few months back, which was a little eye-opening for me. She cried for two hours straight, I was sure I was going to traumatize her for life. When her parents got back I was worried they would judge me forever, but they basically said ‘all babies can do to communicate with you is scream,’ which made me feel better about that night but VERY apprehensive for the future.
I would recommend offering to baby sit for anyone with children that you do know, or the nursery is always a good place to practice! I’m not sure how your church’s nursery works… For ours, the parents are still in the building, so if anything comes up you can go get them, and there are usually at least two people in there so it’s unlikely you’d harm them… Also they probably have someone else in there already, maybe just tell them your concerns and say you want to help out but still have some supervision? I think even working with older children (as in, not babies) would be helpful for most people.

@nannster Yay for trying so soon! I’m a little jealous, but you’re definitely welcome here.

GAH!!! I don;t know what to do. I went to my OBGYN a month ago just letting her know I will be TTC in [name_u]August[/name_u] and to get some advice. She wanted some blood tests done just to make sure I am up to par with immunity and to know what my blood type is.

Now, she suggested that I wait to go off BC right up until I want to try and TTC. So go off in [name_f]July[/name_f] and try in [name_u]August[/name_u]. She told me your ovaries go in over drive and you have a way higher chance of getting knocked up right after going off BC, BUT I also want to start charting my cycle and I cant do that while on BC. GAH!!! decisions, decisions.

When I am off BC-so like a year ago I have always had typical cycles, so I am not too worried about that.

I’ve read about the ‘overdrive,’ if mine works that way I’m totally going to try that! I’m not sure about how your body comes off of an IUD though… I’ve heard that it is fine to try to get pregnant right away and also that you should wait a few months, so I guess I’ll just wait and see what my OBGYN says.

I don’t know that I will start charting or anything right when we start trying… If my cycle is as irregular as it was before it probably wouldn’t do us any good anyway. I can see why you would want to start charting right away though, but if there’s a higher chance you could get pregnant right after coming off BC I would go for it!

[QUOTE=hayleymarie;2826414]
Does infertility scare anyone else?? I have no rhyme or reason to be worried, but it’s always in the back of my head. I think because I want to be a mom so bad and soon. Made the issue worse by reading a “ttc”'book that has a huge section on infertility issues. GAH. I want to burn that book now.

I look forward to getting to know you all :)[/QUOTE

Omg, yes! I have no logical reason to be afraid of it or think I will have problems but it is always on the back of my mind.

@[name_f]Hayley[/name_f], personally I’m most worried about the stress TTC causes. I’m not so worried about the actually getting pregnant part. Going by my charting, rebounding from BC, and my family history, I’m not too worried on my part of conception as of right now, but there are two people in the equation. If we end up unable to conceive, I think I would be okay with that (eventually) once I knew that it wasn’t possible. It’s the waiting every month and getting the negative, not knowing why, having that intensely low feeling after being so hopeful. Ugh, that thought saddens me more than a doctor saying, “Sorry, but no, it won’t happen.”
I think it worries almost everyone, though… there’s always that nagging feeling of, “What if I can’t get pregnant?” Becoming a parent is such a monumental thing for most women. At least the book you read has many other chapters about getting a positive result :slight_smile: [name_u]Silver[/name_u] lining, I guess.
Nice to meet you!

@Nannster, Best of luck come [name_f]July[/name_f]!

@ffennec, there are so many parents out there who are only children. It’s in our nature to raise children, so don’t worry too much. While not everyone has strong parental instincts, I think we catch on quickly, since it really is a necessity. The only way you’ll gain confidence with kids is to get the exposure. I have 2 younger brothers, but both are close enough in age that I don’t remember them as infants. I had never really been around babies until my cousins had kids. I’m 12/13 years younger than they are and they both had 2 girls within a 3.5 year span at the same time, so all of a sudden there were many babies in my family. With the first one, I was quite tentative, by the 3rd, I spent a lot of free time visiting just to care for the baby while my cousin could get other things done. I feel like many people have grandfathers who go through that, too. Hands-off with their own kids, but by the 2nd grandbaby, they are much more comfortable with infants.
If you’re looking for experience, I’d recommend volunteering at a childcare facility. It’s a lot less committal than deciding to work there, plus, in childcare, extra hands are usually a good thing. [name_m]Even[/name_m] volunteering in a kindergarten class is an eye-opener. The church is probably a great place to volunteer! You won’t be the only adult there, so if you’re ever feeling uncomfortable or overwhelmed, there’s someone to help you through.

@[name_f]Dany[/name_f], your perspective will be very interesting here! When I was in my late teens, I absolutely wanted nothing to do with a relationship, and everything to do with parenting. I wanted babies young, and I remember looking in to sperm banks when I was like, 18. I was single for almost all of my 20s, and thought about AI before I met my SO, as a “By the time I’m 30…” kind of thing. I will say, at 28, I have no regrets not having kids yet. I ended up leading a very different, much more rewarding life than I never imagined back in high school when I was obsessed with the thought of having kids. I do feel like I lucked out though, because had things gone differently and I had neither those experiences [name_f]NOR[/name_f] kids, I might not be so happy about it.
I know a few moms who are single parents by choice. It works definitely works for some, and I wish you luck!

@shalexis, it definitely makes me feel better too, knowing I’m not the only one thinking about it :slight_smile:

@hayley, I started charting in [name_u]January[/name_u] and it has been an eye opener. It’s way more time and commitment than just popping a pill, but it’s interesting and I’m seeing a lot of benefits to being this in-tune with my body. Not everyone has a hard time conceiving after coming off BC, so if you’re more comfortable waiting and getting the potential overdrive, go for it! Especially if you don’t want to conceive before then. Charting is kind of fun though, and it’s nice to know the signs to expect for fertility.

whew!

Also, hi to [name_u]Devin[/name_u]! Because I felt bad leaving you out :wink:

Ooooo, I like this thread…so happy to meet you all!

I’m right there with you, @shalexis. It’s comforting I’m not the only one so far off, yet so eager. Though, DH and I both are 2 & 1/2 years off from ttc from my calculations ( ugh, it seems like forever). We’re in our mid twenties, finished with school and onto saving for our first home.

Highly motivated to start our family, we’re being intentional about health and finances. [name_u]January[/name_u], I started a pre-conception diet, as did my husband- though he more reluctantly. My mom finds this odd, but I have always been very health concise- being fertility/conception concise is a whole new ball game. I’m still learning whats best for my body- it’s good to give it some time. So in short, we can hardly wait to try for our first.

@hayleymarie, I know what you mean. I’ve had to will myself to not fret over chances of infertility, but instead push myself to make healthy decisions. Control what I can, and not just yet worry about what I can’t. (I’m sure this is easier for me maybe cause I’m so far off).

@shalexis, I will say that if you have irregular periods, read up on POCS. Since your Dr did not see any hormonal issues in your bloodwork it may not apply to you, but I’ve heard that the more minor cases are hard to diagnosis. Anyhow, the POCS diet/ insulin-resistant diet are good weight loss diets as well.

@ikfly, my best friend’s sister is considering the same thing. Though she is older, in her 30’s and more so thinking of Mr.Right not showing up in time.
I think it’s so awesome that you have the foresight to consider it. Yes, being a young single mom is hard-but you seem really mature. I’m sure you’ll do wonderfully, if that’s what you choose.

@ lucialucentum hi to you too! :slight_smile:

Has anyone discussed with their SO what they plan to do about child care/going back to work? [name_u]Day[/name_u] care is so expensive so we’ve sort of ruled that out (low cost ones are more than our rent) and we’ve been flip flopping between me going back to work even part time or just staying home. There seem to be benefits to both so we’ve had a super hard time even coming close to deciding.

@jacklynrose
There is a history of PCOS in my family I think, or at least ovariam cysts if there is more than one condition with that. My mom actually had a ruptured cyst that caused internal bleeding and landed her in the hospital for a while. The doctor did mention that but didn’t want to do an ultrasound or whatever they do to check for cysts, since I was so far fromTTC at that point she thought it was unnecessary.

What kind of diet are you on? I hadn’t even thought about a conception diet

@jacklynrose
There is a history of PCOS in my family I think, or at least ovariam cysts if there is more than one condition with that. My mom actually had a ruptured cyst that caused internal bleeding and landed her in the hospital for a while. The doctor did mention that but didn’t want to do an ultrasound or whatever they do to check for cysts, since I was so far fromTTC at that point she thought it was unnecessary.

What kind of diet are you on? I hadn’t even thought about a conception diet

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] everyone- I would like to join you too :slight_smile:
I also joined TTC 2015, but won’t be starting until [name_f]October[/name_f]-[name_u]November[/name_u], so am very much in the “pre” stage now.
My husband and I are both way too excited to get started. We’ve been together six years, own a home and have done some travel. In [name_u]November[/name_u] 2014 we got married, and planned to start trying straight away! But right before the wedding, I had a job opportunity at work which involved them paying me to do my Masters. It was such a good opportunity for me, and I’m really pleased I took it up, but it was hard to have TTC pushed further away right when I got so close.
I won’t be finished my Masters if I get pregnant at the end of this year, but like many of you I’m really worried about infertility and didn’t feel comfortable waiting until I’d finished, when I’d be 30. I’m 27 now.
I went off the pill at my wedding, as that was my plan, and have been charting my cycles since then.

[name_u]Devin[/name_u]- I’ll be taking a years maternity leave when I get pregnant. Only the first four months are paid though so we’re saving to make sure we’ll be financially comfortable for the rest of my time at home. I always thought I’d resign, and be a stay at home mum, but I just don’t want to throw away my job. After a year at home, I’ll go back three days a week and we’ll use daycare for those days.

@lilhan [name_f]Welcome[/name_f] to the thread! :slight_smile: it sounds like you guys really have your ducks in a row and you are so smart for taking advantage of the job opportunity!
That’s one of the downfalls of my job is there is no paid maternity leave. I only work part time anyway so I don’t even know how all of that works. We’re so far off that I don’t really bother with it yet. I’ve considered working with DH company that his family owns where I would get paid leave and what not, but [name_f]MIL[/name_f] would be my boss and she and I don’t see eye to eye. I’m more strongly considering working 3 or so days and staying home the rest. I don’t think I could give up work entirely!

@shalexis :wink:
I’ve done a lot of research, just because my cousins all have PCOS. Jury is still out on me, but I have my suspicions.
I’ve been eating a lot of eggs; trying for 1-2 times a day, given the day of the week. Sometimes I succeed sometimes I don’t. I’m not crazy about eggs but they are so healthy.
Low mercury fish and only healthy carbs (buckwheat, sweet potato or carrots… Some random others-all low glycemic index )- Pickles, walnuts and almonds for snack.
Spinach salads and green drinks.
This is a quick read and below are two books I read. I haven’t started supplements… [name_m]Just[/name_m] diet.

http://www.mckinley.illinois.edu/handouts/pcos.htm
The PCOS Diet Cookbook
And The PCOS Diet plan.

Sorry it took me so long to get back with you… [name_f]Busy[/name_f] weekend in my house.