I have a relative who is only about 30 weeks but will have to deliver her baby this week due to HELLP syndrome. They live about three hour’s drive from the hospital, and I’m closer than most of the family and hoping to find some useful things to bring them when we visit. Has anyone done some thing similar or gone through something like this that could give me suggestions? I just can’t even imagine dealing with this and don’t know what I can do to help!
Gas cards, gift cards, invite them over for home cooked meals and a place to shower/recuperate. Offer to go to their home to get mail, check on the house, clean up a bit. [name_m]Set[/name_m] up a gofundme account for people to donate to.
First off, you are so incredibly thoughtful and sweet to even think about this. My daughter spent only 6 days in the NICU but it was hellish. It’s just so incredibly hard to be in there and to see your brand new baby going thru painful procedures. I was obviously hormonal, but I had to leave the room a few times while the nurses did things, I just couldn’t handle it. But I have 2 brothers, neither of them bothered to call or even email to ask how we were or what was going on. So your relative is very lucky to have you in their life!
Aside from that, food is tough. You’re so preoccupied and busy, you don’t want to take any time to take care of yourself. So maybe gift cards for fast food or prepared meals? Gas cards are always handy if you think it might be helpful to them (depends on their financial situation I guess - but our birth and 6-day NICU stay ended up around $30,000 so I can guarantee they have big bills heading their way). Maybe offer to help around their house, pick up their mail? Feed their animals if needed? Many NICU’s allow parents to stay all-night so they may not go home for awhile. [name_m]Just[/name_m] let them know you care and are thinking of them - a text, a phone call. Tell them you want to help in any way you can and follow it up. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if they end up not asking for anything, knowing you care will mean so much to them. Hugs and I hope all goes well for your family!
I second the food thing! They don’t want to have to worry about sorting out meals when they’re going through all of that, but they really need to be well fed and nourished if they’re going to get through it. My close friend gave birth at 34 weeks and they were in the NICU for only 3 weeks, but they both came out looking gaunt because they’d been so focused on their daughter and wanting to spend as much time as possible with her that they’d barely eaten.
Make some big batch meals and stock up their freezer with loads of individual portions of soup, stew, curry, pasta sauce, fish or cottage pie… just easy, satisfying, balanced meals that they can just heat up and don’t need to think about.
Best wishes to you and your family. It’s tough but you get through it and a year down the line you’d never know a child was born so early. It’s amazing what medical professionals can do nowadays 