Preggers with last baby...should I stand my ground on a name I love?

[name]JUST[/name] found out we’re expecting baby #6. Because of some medical issues, this must be our last biological child. We have 3 daughters ([name]Juliette[/name], [name]Bella[/name] and [name]Mia[/name]) and 2 sons ([name]Leo[/name] and [name]Ronan[/name]). I have tried, in vain, to convince my husband to love [name]Malcolm[/name] as much as I do. He just does not. I’ve lobbied for [name]Malcolm[/name] for the last two boys. Out oldest daughter is not a fan either (We would have final say on the baby’s name but I also don’t want her to HATE the name, you know?). This is my question: should I play the “I’m carrying this baby for nine months and it’s the last kid and in really want to use this name” card or should give up on the name that I adore and compromise on a name that makes everyone happy? Might not even be a boy but I can’t help going back to [name]Malcolm[/name] until I know.

Thanks for your time.

I would play that card. If you have yet to use your favorite name you should use it. And just give the baby an agreed upon middle name. If they really dislike malcolm so much they can call him by a middle or nickname.

I’d definitely bring the name up and throw a little guilt into the mix — also explain how much you like the name and give some examples of how you see it fitting in your current family/sib-set. However, I don’t think I could really push/insist on a name if my DH just hated it. Maybe your DH will change his mind once you bring it up again? If not, I dunno… unless it is the only name you love and feel strongly connected to right now, I would try to look for something else. Definitely bring it up again though. Our feelings towards a name often change over time – maybe it wasn’t the right time for [name]Malcolm[/name] before, but he’ll just “click” with everyone this time around.

Congrats on #6!

Thank you for your reply.
I almost think that if it was decided early on that we’d use [name]Malcolm[/name], that everyone would get used to it and just love him when he gets here. I’m so conflicted. Part of me really wants to put my foot down but another part just wants to avoid conflict. I don’t want my husband to dislike his child’s name forever. Although, he just told me recently that he’s “never been crazy about [name]Ronan[/name]'s name” which makes me kind of sad. Nonetheless, he calls him [name]Ronan[/name] (as opposed to the middle name he suggested) and loves the boy to pieces.

I dont have kids yet so I dont quite understand the complexity of picking a name but I have to say I dont think I would play that card. What if your husband concedes but then dislikes his child’s name or worse than that, refuses to use it? [name]Add[/name] to that the fact that your daughter doesnt care for it (I dont think children should have a big say in names personally) and I think you might end up with some naming regret/doubt.

I would ask him what his hang ups are about the name and tell him it means so much to you because its the last chance but its also important that he loves your childs name and see if you cant work something out. Maybe he would be happy to use [name]Malcom[/name] as a mn?

I personally wouldn’t play that card because I think that naming is such an important thing and I wouldn’t want to guilt my husband into a name he obviously doesn’t like (you have been pushing it for a while now so if he was going to agree I think he would have by now).

Try and think of it in reverse of how you would feel if your husband was guilting you into a name that you very much disliked.

I’m sure the two of you will come to a compromise on a name that you both like and can live with.

I wouldn’t play that card if your husband really doesn’t like the name. I mean I’d hate it if my child had a name I really disliked.

If he was lukewarm on it, I would say maybe try talking him into it, but since it seems he really dislikes, I would look for another great choice and see if you can work [name]Malcolm[/name] into the middle slot.

He doesn’t seem to HATE it he just doesn’t really like it. I hear a British-y/Scottish name that I think sounds really handsome and scholarly. He thinks Macolm X will be the first thing people think of. I think if i could get him to associate [name]Malcolm[/name] with Scottish history, he’d go for it… just not sure how to change someones association of a name We just have really different styles and it’s difficult to agree on a boys name (the girls names are easy- he has a much less strong opinion on them). I don’t want to stick it in a middle name slot. I feel bad saying that-( our [name]Leo[/name]'s middle name is [name]Magnus[/name] which I what DH wanted his first name to be. I couldn’t imagine calling a son [name]Magnus[/name] all the time so he said okay to the middle name slot)-I feel like I’m being selfish by not agreeing to the same. Then again, I put most of the hard work into this…should I have a 51% say?

I appreciate everyone’s responses. Thank you.

I totally understand how difficult it is to agree, my husband and I also have really different taste in names!

My biggest problem is that he shoots them down but never offers any suggestions - has your DH provided any alternatives to [name]Malcolm[/name]?

BTW I love [name]Leo[/name] [name]Magnus[/name] and [name]Ronan[/name] (what is [name]Ronan[/name]'s middle name if you don’t mind me asking?)

thanks, peach. [name]Ronan[/name]'s middle name is [name]Arthur[/name]. So we have:
[name]Juliette[/name] ([name]Jules[/name]) [name]Maura[/name]
[name]Bella[/name] [name]Ryan[/name]
[name]Mia[/name] [name]Sloane[/name]
[name]Leo[/name] [name]Magnus[/name]
and
[name]Ronan[/name] [name]Arthur[/name].
My dream name to complete this sibset would [name]Malcolm[/name] [name]Charles[/name] or [name]Malcolm[/name] [name]James[/name] or [name]Malcolm[/name] ( something classic ).
You know what my DH likes? [name]Thor[/name] and [name]Wulf[/name]. Not sure if he would ACTUALLY use those but I swear they are the only names he’s suggested. Oh, and [name]Asher[/name]. I like [name]Asher[/name] but I don’t really love it with the other kid’s names.

Thoughts?

[name]Love[/name] [name]Thor[/name].

And there is nothing wrong with the association with [name]Malcolm[/name] X. He was very intelligent and had an interesting life. And I loved the show [name]Malcolm[/name] in the middle starring [name]Frankie[/name] Muniz (sp?).

I would still try to work it in there somewhere if it was favorite name…I. love [name]Ronan[/name]

Would you be happy with [name]Malcolm[/name] as the middle name? I think [name]Asher[/name] [name]Malcolm[/name] would be fine with your other kids’ names.

i would either use as a mn or what about [name]Callum[/name]? that is an offshoot of [name]Malcolm[/name]…

Wow I absolutely love [name]Arthur[/name] too! [name]Ronan[/name] [name]Arthur[/name] is fantastic.

[name]Malcolm[/name] isn’t really my taste but I think [name]Malcolm[/name] [name]Asher[/name] makes a nice combo.

I really don’t see your DH relenting on [name]Malcolm[/name] though, I think you might have to compromise and use it in the middle.

I like [name]Callum[/name] but I don’t love it the way I do [name]Malcolm[/name]. My husband doesn’t really like [name]Callum[/name] anyway. He wants a “strong” name (like [name]Magnus[/name]). I like Britsh-y or Gaelic names that aren’t unheard-of here in the States. The only names that I’ve mentioned that he hasn’t shot down completely are [name]Samuel[/name] and [name]Alastair[/name]. I like [name]Samuel[/name] just fine but it doesn’t make me swoon. [name]Alastair[/name] is cool but I’m not sure how well it would be accepted here in [name]Georgia[/name].

I think I’ll try to slowly and stealthily convince him that [name]Malcolm[/name] is the right choice :slight_smile:

He was also a militant leader so there are a good number of people who question the way he went about things even if it was for a good cause. I think this makes [name]Malcolm[/name] a pretty charged name at least in the US. I would try and come up with what it is you like best about [name]Malcolm[/name] and find a name that also fits the bill :slight_smile:

I don’t see anything wrong with playing the “I’m carrying the baby for nine months/giving birth” card, BUT I think [name]Alistair[/name] is a great name, and goes well with your other kids names. [name]Alistair[/name] [name]Malcolm[/name] could be a very awesome name.

Thanks, all.