As a compromise with my husband we are considering using his classic choice in first place with my wild “GP” name as the middle which is what we’ll call our kid by from the start and introduce them as.
This way our kid will have a professional sounding family name in the first spot to fall back on if they ever decide they hate the obscure name I picked.
My worry is how irritating it might be for them when they get older, having to correct everyone that they go by their middle name, and will this influence their decision to eventually just go by their first for simplicity sake?
And realistically how hard will it be to get family and friends to call them by the middle name and not the “first” name after the announcements go out stating the full name? I’m sure there will be a few relatives I see only a handful of times throughout the year that might stubbornly call them by the first name because they like it better. I don’t mind putting my foot down if I must but how often is this likely to happen?
Does anyone have any experience with someone using a middle as a first and what complications it might bring?
I generally feel you should put the name you’re actually going to use in the first spot. [name_m]Just[/name_m] how obscure is your GP name?
I’ve known a few men who have gone by their middle names since birth because they are juniors, and it solved the issue of confusing father and son. One has told me that it can be a bureaucratic nightmare at times though, with different documents not matching and his identity being questioned. Another goes by the nn [name_u]Sonny[/name_u] in all personal affairs and his first name only at work (he’s an attorney). It’s confusing on those rare occasions when the two worlds meet. His wife was mystified when she first met his coworkers and they referenced him by a short form of his first name.
Right now our thoughts are mostly on if we have a boy. He wants to use [name_m]Charles[/name_m] after himself (it’s a family name with no unused nn potential) and I strongly want Regulus.
I honestly don’t care at all about anyone’s opinion on Regulus except my DH’s but his concern is that it won’t look right on applications and might be seen as too strange and if our son hates it he’d be stuck with it in the first spot.
[name_m]How[/name_m] do you feel about the nickname [name_u]Reggie[/name_u]? If he doesn’t like it he could go by [name_u]Reggie[/name_u] or [name_m]Luis[/name_m] even though it’s a tad bit of a stretch.
I like [name_u]Reggie[/name_u] / [name_u]Reggy[/name_u] (sp?) with a hard G, we don’t care for [name_u]Reggie[/name_u] with a soft G and we’d likely call him Regs alot but DH isn’t sold it’s enough to feel safe using it as a first. I agreed to consider using Regulus as the middle he still goes by if it’s the only way I can get him to agree to it as the name means a lot to me.
I had never heard the name Regulus before. At first I had the impression of a fantasy character (I guess it reminded me of Legolas…). The upside of an unfamiliar name though is that one quickly associates it with bearer since there’s no competing references. If I first heard the name upon meeting your son, it would quickly go from being foreign to me to just being HIM, you know? I looked Regulus up out of curiosity. Being Latin, it has historicity behind it, plus a positive meaning (prince) and allusion (a star in the [name_m]Leo[/name_m] constellation). I would encourage you to use Regulus [name_m]Charles[/name_m]. Should you/he choose, he can also go by Regs, [name_u]Reggie[/name_u] (hard g or soft g), or [name_u]Gus[/name_u], if not by his middle name. I think it’s a name to be proud of, plus [name_m]Charles[/name_m] in the middle spot still provides a backup option.
I see no problem with going by a middle name (if I have children, I’ll be calling them nicknames from both their firsts and middles) but it could cause legal hassle, I suppose. I think [name_m]Charles[/name_m] Regulus “Regulus” is fine but I also think Regulus would work as a first without problem (a lot of people would be familiar with it anyhow due to the [name_m]Harry[/name_m] [name_m]Potter[/name_m] association of Regulus [name_m]Black[/name_m]). However, I understand you wanting a more traditional first.
Where I live (I’m unsure of elsewhere), if you go by something other than your given first name - say, you were [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] [name_m]Price[/name_m] but went exclusively by [name_f]Ebba[/name_f] - then [name_f]Ebba[/name_f] [name_m]Price[/name_m] is what would show up on things like registers and such. I had the same thing - [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] L/N to [name_f]Millie[/name_f] L/N in dental and doctor’s appointments, school, etc. I had no problem.
I don’t understand the opposition to this at all. My grandfather, father, and two of my first cousins have gone by their middle names their entire lives with no issues. Yes, sometimes they have to correct people, but so what? Nearly everyone has to correct people on some aspect of their name at some point in their lives. Going by a middle name is so common in my area of the US (the southeast) that I have a hard time wrapping my mind around why this concept is so confusing for some. Really, it’s not a big deal, and it’s a great way to work around family traditions.
First, I want to say that I love Regulus and [name_m]Charles[/name_m]! I think Regulus would be fine as the first name, but I do understand your husband’s hesitation.
I know many people who choose to go by their middle names and I think it is more common than we may think. Speaking from experience, it really isn’t a big deal to have to correct/clarify your name. And most people he meets won’t have a piece of paper with his “official” name on it, so to them, he’ll simply be Regulus.
[name_m]Charles[/name_m] Regulus seems like a perfectly sensible option - Regulus is sufficiently ‘out there’ (I doubt that the vast majority of people will have met one [name_m]IRL[/name_m]) that a fall back option would do well to alleviate the concerns of your husband / widen the options for your son in the future
Lots of people do this for family reasons, or indeed have nicknames that are wildly different to what’s on their birth certificate
It may be a bit of a nuisance for your son in some ways, but I think it’s justified in this case