A very dear friend of mine is preggers and while I was over visiting the other night she gleefully pulled out a [name]Tiffany[/name]'s catalogue and started pointing out her top 5 choices of (highly overpriced) jewelry for the push present she is demanding from her hubby. I sat there sipping my tea, listening and all the while I was thinking to my self “Is this what we’ve really come to? Women are now expecting compensation for giving birth?” The whole notion that a woman would expect a [name]Tiffany[/name]'s ring/pendant for giving birth is so very foreign to me. [name]Aren[/name]'t presents supposed to be saved for the baby shower and Mother’s [name]Day[/name]? Has anyone else encountered the push present?
I read an article about this years ago and filed it in the “weird habits of the very wealthy” category; however, shortly after that I was at a bridal shower and a woman with a newborn was going on about wanting a specific watch as her “baby present”. That’s the only time I’ve encountered a push present. I kind of think having brought a child into the world is worth more than a piece of jewellery…
PS, nercomi, I just noticed you have fabulous names in your signature!
Very strange, but again, I think bridal showers are weird. When/if I give birth, I would hope to have help around the house, help with the baby, and a fridge stocked with easy meals for when I get home. I will pass on the diamonds.
I think a push present can be a nice gesture, like a pendant with your baby’s birthstone or something, but I certainly wouldn’t demand one, spell out exactly what I wanted, or think I was owed it.
I don’t understand it either. [name]Do[/name] these women not want the babies they are giving birth to? I would think that was enough? I would feel like that would be enough for me. The only way I can justify a push present is if the woman got pregnant accidentally and didn’t want it. Then the husband/boyfriend can get them a “sorry I knocked you up and am forcing you to keep it” gift!
I’ve heard of it, and I guess I don’t think of it as that unusual or greedy, but I wouldn’t expect or really want one. People get gifts for other milestones, graduation, marriage, birthdays, etc…and I guess most shower gifts/baby presents are for the baby as opposed to mom.
[name]One[/name] of my SO’s aunts brought me some jewelry she had made after I delivered our daughter. I thought that was really sweet, since she’d never even met me before. That was the only gift I received that wasn’t baby-related.
My dad got my mum a sapphire and diamond ring when I was born. I don’t think it was planned that way though, I feel it was more like, he remembered she’d seen it and liked it and bought it for her and then I happened to arrive around the same time. Their wedding anniversary is four days after my birthday 
It fits me now The sapphires and me being born in [name]September[/name] was definitely a coincidence though! My dad wouldn’t notice that kind of thing, lol.
I think the idea of a necklace with the baby’s name or a birthstone ring is really sweet it was my friend’s blatant expectation of a ~$1000 sparkle that took me by surprise, in my mind that’s money that could go into a really good stroller or a bedroom set, different priorities I guess…
ps maggiefromcanada thanks! I adore the names you’ve picked
I hope push presents don’t become common. I think it is outrageous. The baby being born should be the gift for pushing. I think our culture is too focused on material consumption. Push presents seem as distasteful to me as cutting thanksgiving dinner short to camp out in front of Best Buy to get $5 [name]Blu[/name]-Rays at midnight. Family should always matter more than shiny pretty things. This makes me sad.
My ideal “push present” (aside from the baby) would be for my husband to be able to breastfeed.
I can’t imagine expecting anything, isn’t the baby the "push present "?
My husband did get me a little jewelry dish with my daughters birthstone…I honestly cried because it was so sweet and unexpected.For me it loses that element if you’re picking out your options in the [name]Tiffany[/name] catalogue.
I get the presents that are ways to mark the event like jewelry with the baby’s birthstone that the father decided to purchase on his own. But the idea of picking your own present seems wrong to me. I feel like the gift you get for giving birth is the baby!
Well, I got one. I’m not wealthy or showy. I didn’t demand it or give my husband a catalog full of circled items. But my sweet husband got me a push present that I will be happy to one day pass on to my daughter. I don’t think I needed to get a prize for pushing out a baby, but it sure is nice to have a man who wanted to give me a romantic/glamorous moment just after I did. I really hope my daughter ends up with a guy like that. And honestly, most people who are super disgusted at the idea are probably sad to be less appreciated by their partners or they have martyrdom issues and don’t like to do anything nice for themselves and have to demonize other women who do enjoy nice things. Was the necklace shinier than my new daughter? Of course not. But it’s nice to have a tangible thing to connect to that day & that feeling.
I was more reacting to the OP’s story, taz, but reading the post again, mine does come across a little haughty which wasn’t my intention.
Its normal where I live, I got one for both my daughters. I got a [name]Chanel[/name] bag when [name]Amelie[/name] was born and an eternity ring when [name]Daisy[/name] was born.
[name]Amelie[/name] also got a present “from” her new baby sister, which was a colouring book and crayons, and a fairy ornament for her bedroom.
Well, I’ve heard of push presents, but I think it’s weird. But, then again, I think baby showers are weird (expecting your friends to pay for your baby equipment).
If someone got me a “push present” I’d want it to be a maid who comes to my house once a week - to help me clean up - for the next 18 years. Not a $1000 ring that’s going to look pretty but be really useless in helping me take care of my child. (Yes I realize the maid would be way more expensive but dude wouldn’t it be great to have someone do your laundry, clean your bathroom and vaccume your floors for you? Gives you more time with your kids, esp if you don’t plan on being a stay home mom).
I received a lovely locket from my DH when I was in the hospital. DH was deployed at the time and wasn’t at the birth so the locket was his only way to be part of the experience. I certainly didn’t expect or demand any sort of tangible gift (a healthy baby was enough). The gesture was so sweet and thoughtful, but truth be told, I would have much rather had my DH home for the birth and the following six months of DS’ life
My “push present” for [name]Owen[/name] was our house! We closed on it about a month before he was born. With [name]Lola[/name], DH did surprise me with a pretty estate necklace that sort of matches my engagement ring. It wasn’t terribly extravagant, and I certainly didn’t expect it (I think he got flak from his sisters for not getting me any jewelry the first time!) I love the necklace and haven’t taken it off once in the last year, although I’m always afraid Lolz is going to rip it right off my neck one of these days.
What’s gross is that, because I had a C-section (well, with both babies) my sister called it a “gash gift.” Like, because I didn’t push…shudders
My mom was given a ring with the gems for my brother and father’s birth dates when my brother was born - another was added when I was born. I think it’s an incredibly romantic gesture and shows a lot of universal love in a family. However, demanding or requesting the gift pretty much ruins the purpose and seems incredibly rude and needy to me.
That being said, if my fiance were to give something to me to symbolize our child’s birth I would probably be speechless, haha. It really is quite romantic. Though given the choice I would rather my fiance get a piece of jewelry or similar for a newborn daughter over me.