putting a name to the face. help?


so I actually posted a thread about this back in 2017 I think but I lost the account credentials. I then posted about this again in 2018 on this account, but I am still struggling today. for the past 2 weeks, I’ve been coming online to edit my name list my list but I still can’t seem to find my perfect name. I almost decided to ask reddit what they think, but figured I’d ask here again because there were a lot of good names thrown my way! I don’t know anyone at all who is going through what I am, so I’m sorry if my situation sounds really weird to you:

I don’t connect with my birth name at all. I never liked it and knew I wanted to change it when I was 12. I’ve been trying to find my perfect name ever since. I do know that at the end of the day, it’s up to me whether or not I want to use a name, but I am curious as to what “name I look like” to other people. maybe it’ll help me find my name.

in case the photo doesn’t attach

thank you!!

Hey :slight_smile: [name_m]Just[/name_m] looking at your list I think you really suit [name_f]Bea[/name_f], [name_u]Billie[/name_u], [name_f]Cleo[/name_f] and [name_u]Riley[/name_u]. You have lots of great choices but those are probably my favourites for you.

Others that came to mind: [name_f]Reva[/name_f], [name_f]Faye[/name_f], [name_f]Fenna[/name_f], [name_u]Isa[/name_u], [name_u]Harper[/name_u], [name_f]Ingrid[/name_f], [name_f]Thea[/name_f], [name_f]Hera[/name_f], [name_f]Fern[/name_f], [name_f]Maja[/name_f]/[name_f]Maya[/name_f].

I don’t know what has led you to change your name but I really feel for people who struggle with this. I would suggest maybe, since you’ve been thinking about it for such a long time, picking the one you’ve liked the longest and just committing to it? Choosing a name when you’re already a grown up person (or teen, you know what I mean) means that without even actively needing to consider it, you’re taking into account your personality, looks etc… So I don’t think focusing on those elements is super helpful. Sorry I don’t know if I explained that right. ALSO there’s the factor that people will almost always ‘fit’ their names after a while just by the nature of everyone associating it with them.

The person has power over the name is what I’m saying. It seems to me like you’re giving the name (either your current name or your prospective name) a lot more power than it needs to have. Some more practical questions that might help you rule some names out: [name_m]How[/name_m] popular do you want the name to be? For your peer group or just in general? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you want the name to reflect any cultural background? Are there any movies/books/media you might be able to look towards? Have your friends been able to give any suggestions? Is it important the name is gendered vs gender neutral? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you want a name people can recognise and spell easily? Or not, maybe you want something a little unusual or just a bit intriguing?

I really sincerely wish you luck!

1 Like

Thank you so much for your reply, it means a LOT to me right now.

It truly is difficult choosing a name for myself at 22. I’ve been taking into account my personality/looks a LOT through this process and it’s pretty stressful. It’s so funny you mention a name “fitting” a person, though! I’ve used [name_f]Ellie[/name_f] and [name_f]Kailey[/name_f] for a majority of my life (neither are my birth name) and overtime I just felt disconnected from both of them and felt like they didn’t “fit”. It took me a long while to figure out if I truly didn’t like the name for me- I know now I don’t. I don’t know how to describe how I go about this stuff, but you’ve explained it right almost as if you know how this goes for some people in the name changing process and it’s honestly relieving. Thank you!

As for your questions:

[name_m]How[/name_m] popular do you want the name to be? I just don’t want it to be SUPER popular, in general.

[name_f]Do[/name_f] you want the name to reflect any cultural background? I’m not too connected to my background at all, honestly. So, I guess this doesn’t matter to me.

Are there any movies/books/media you might be able to look towards? I’ve been doing this for most of the ‘journey’! I’ve looked into my favorite shows, movies, characters, etc. they’re almost always very popular/common or doesn’t go with my last name well. (Keery)

Have your friends been able to give any suggestions?
I have a best friend that’s only really been helping me decide if a name “fits” me or not and I know that doesn’t help much at all. When she does find names for me though, they’re always very fantasy-like… very cutesy and frilly and I don’t think that’s my style at all.

Is it important the name is gendered vs gender neutral? I don’t care too much about it, actually! I have [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] on my list and before I deleted it, I had [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] on there. I just worry too much about family/friend’s opinions about my name which stops me from considering a “more masculine” name, I guess.

[name_f]Do[/name_f] you want a name people can recognise and spell easily? If they can spell it easily by hearing it, that’s cool! I feel like the more popular names are easily recognizable.

The first name that popped in my head when seeing your picture was [name_f]Jade[/name_f] and I hadn’t even looked at your list yet. :wink:

Other names that I think suits you are: [name_u]Avery[/name_u]/Avrey, [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] with the nickname [name_u]Jo[/name_u], [name_f]Enya[/name_f] and [name_f]Aveline[/name_f] (Av-eh-leen). I know these are not on your list except [name_f]Enya[/name_f] but just wanted to give you some other options. :slight_smile:

I myself have also been thinking of changing my names since I was quite young, I’m now 20 and have been trying to come up with a new name for almost 2 years but none really have felt right and on top of that i’ve realized that I’m ftm trans too, so my feminine given name is even worse now and every time I hear it I internally cringe. Sorry for a long comment, just wanted to explain I guess :wink:

Edit: Wanted to add the name Cleo too, I think that one suits you really well too!
Edit 2: Another name popped in my head and I think you really look like a Leyla (Lay-lah/Hard to write out the pronunciation ;))

Thank you so much for your comment!!

I was just looking at more names and added [name_u]Stevie[/name_u] to my list.

I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] [name_u]Avery[/name_u] but one of my good friends is named [name_f]Averi[/name_f] so it’s a no for me. I have always liked [name_u]Jo[/name_u] (or [name_f]Joie[/name_f]?) on its own, actually! Thank you for the other names too! I think I’m more inclined to the unisex names because my birth name IS a unisex name- more for males I suppose?

That must be so so so difficult though with gender on top of it all. My friend [name_f]Averi[/name_f] is actually also trans (mtf) and I understand how hard it could be especially when it comes to dysphoria. If you need to talk to anyone about it at all, please do and (I don’t know how this site works 100%) but my messages are always open, I think!! Wishing you all the luck!!

**just learned how to quote reply, I’m a dummy hahaha

the first name that came to me was [name_f]Monique[/name_f]! but after reading the questions you answered here are a few more:

wishing you the best of luck!!

ok so I’ve made a few realizations about my situation. :slight_smile:

• I believe I’m looking for a name with an “edge” to it. I’m not into anything too girly/frilly/etc…
• I think that because my birth name is actually a unisex name, I lean more towards unisex names. I think, though, that I do want something more feminine… but tough? if that makes sense.
• sounds nice with middle name [name_f]Ann[/name_f]. I’m honoring my grandmother’s choice of name when I asked her what she would’ve named me when I was born. (it was [name_u]Cheyenne[/name_u] but I researched the name and found it was possibly offensive to use? so I shortened it to [name_f]Ann[/name_f]).

[name_f]Sapphire[/name_f], [name_f]Cleo[/name_f], [name_f]Leila[/name_f]…

My goodness. I didn’t even read this and I said [name_f]Cleo[/name_f] and [name_f]Leila[/name_f] (close to [name_f]Leyla[/name_f]?)!

I can definitely understand what you are going through. Your name, like it or not, ends up being such a huge part of your identity.

[name_u]Rowan[/name_u] was the first name that popped out to me having looked at you picture and I see that it is also on your list. I think it would be a great choice!

Other suggestions:

The first name that popped into my head when I look at your picture was Zoë. But here’s some other suggestions that I think would suit you. [name_f]Daniella[/name_f], [name_f]Lucy[/name_f]/[name_f]Lucie[/name_f], [name_f]Kara[/name_f], [name_u]Skylar[/name_u], [name_f]Luna[/name_f], [name_f]Eliana[/name_f], [name_f]Kathryn[/name_f], [name_u]Jessy[/name_u], [name_u]Parker[/name_u], [name_f]Lena[/name_f], [name_u]Emery[/name_u], [name_u]Harlow[/name_u], [name_f]Ashleigh[/name_f], [name_f]Kaila[/name_f], Amélia, [name_u]Jaimie[/name_u], [name_f]Emmaline[/name_f], [name_f]Iris[/name_f], [name_f]Breanna[/name_f], [name_u]Winter[/name_u], [name_u]Sydney[/name_u], [name_f]Maia[/name_f], [name_f]Buffy[/name_f], [name_u]Aspyn[/name_u], [name_f]Josephine[/name_f], [name_f]Ginnifer[/name_f], [name_f]Serena[/name_f], [name_f]Alyson[/name_f], [name_f]Hailee[/name_f], [name_f]Karin[/name_f], [name_u]Avery[/name_u], [name_u]Dylan[/name_u], [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f], [name_f]Alexia[/name_f], [name_f]Hanna[/name_f], [name_f]Graciela[/name_f]/[name_f]Grace[/name_f]/[name_f]Gracie[/name_f], [name_u]Riley[/name_u], [name_f]Juliette[/name_f]/[name_f]Julietta[/name_f], [name_u]Carter[/name_u], [name_u]Carsyn[/name_u], [name_f]Melinda[/name_f], [name_f]Kylie[/name_f], [name_f]Alivia[/name_f], [name_u]Dakota[/name_u], [name_u]Haven[/name_u], [name_f]Rachelle[/name_f], [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f], Daphné, [name_f]Anastasia[/name_f], Sørina, [name_f]Alicia[/name_f], [name_f]Sofia[/name_f], [name_f]Elena[/name_f], [name_f]Victoria[/name_f]/[name_f]Vicky[/name_f], [name_f]Marissa[/name_f], [name_f]Annabella[/name_f], [name_f]Monica[/name_f], [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]/[name_u]Charley[/name_u]/[name_u]Charlie[/name_u], [name_u]Jordan[/name_u]/[name_u]Jordin[/name_u]/[name_u]Jordyn[/name_u], [name_u]Nikita[/name_u], [name_f]Johanna[/name_f]/[name_u]Jo[/name_u]/[name_u]Joey[/name_u], [name_f]Bianca[/name_f], [name_f]Stefanie[/name_f], Krystan, [name_f]Celeste[/name_f], [name_f]Jazmyn[/name_f], [name_u]Amery[/name_u], [name_u]Piper[/name_u], [name_m]Kaden[/name_m], [name_f]Phoebe[/name_f], [name_u]Paris[/name_u], [name_f]Carolina[/name_f]/[name_f]Caroline[/name_f], [name_f]Anya[/name_f], [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f]/[name_f]Eleanora[/name_f], [name_f]Astrid[/name_f].

Hello! Did you decide on a name? :slight_smile: This may be too late, but I was really interested in this thread and wondering if you had made a choice. If not, and listening to your criteria, names I think of when I see your picture, that are not girly/frilly, but sound strong, are:

[name_u]Shiloh[/name_u] and [name_u]Frankie[/name_u]

Good luck!