The thing is rather confusing but I will ask anyway, maybe somebody has a piece of advice.
So, my family is rather big and there is only one child, my daughter, [name_u]Nelly[/name_u]. Parents live in their own house with my siblings and I live with boyfriend and daughter.
On the weekends my mom and dad usually visit us. We have a meal and then [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] has playtime with other family members. They all love her very much because she is the only child in a lot of years so many adults want to cuddle [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] and spend a lot of time with her.
But there is such a thing…When my mom comes into the room, [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] forgets about all games, looks at her Granny, laughs and smiles. She doesn’t just love but simply adores my mom. She always wants to be with her, she wants Granny to give her the bottle, to play with her and totally ignores other family members. They have such a special relationship…
I have to admit, I am kind of jealous. [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] doesn’t mind my or my sister’s company when Granny isn’t in the house but otherwise she prefers to be with her. So just like I hold [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] in my arms and my mom is nearby, [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] tries to make Granny take her([name_u]Nelly[/name_u]) away from me. If there is a choice, she always prefers Granny to anybody.
Have anybody ever experienced situations like this? My mom says it happens because she has a big experience how to deal with children and I am always fussy or too loud/scary behaving and it frightens [name_u]Nelly[/name_u]. I don’t take offense on my mother, she doesn’t do anything special but is it normal for a child to have a preference of a family member? Is it like already making best friends with somebody?
Sorry if I sound stupid or an awful mommy, I am FTM and confused.
You’re not an awful mummy! [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] sees you all day everyday, right? When your mother visits that’s exciting and different, and that is completely natural. If I were you I’d take that time when [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] has playtime with your parents to go somewhere else, do something where you’re not in the same room. Go out for a cup of coffee or tea, have a bath… do some shopping. Come back, and [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] will be excited to see you! You’re a new mother, of course you’re being fussy. [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] loves you most of all, it’s a novelty that’s all.
My daughter’s in love with my father. He’s got a very special way with children, he’s a very funky grandpa. She’s completely mesmerised by him. And she’s got a thing for my brother too. When they visit we usually have tea or something, then I go and do something on my own and leave [name_f]Dita[/name_f] with them. Then I have a bath, sleep, go shopping, go for a run, bake, something that makes me happy. When I come back [name_f]Dita[/name_f]'s always very happy to see me!
Thank you so much, darling! Great advice you’ve given, I might seriously consider it. I am not so sure if my parents will agree to have [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] on them for a long time(she is not an easy babe) but I am sure my sister will, she loves her madly. And I only need a few hours, right. So maybe BF and me will have a [name_u]Nelly[/name_u]-free evening one day. 
Thanks again, you always have some right and helpful things to say. I sometimes feel like you are my sweet and kind elder sister :).
Please don’t worry, its completely normal for children to have a preference like this and its no indication of her love for her mommy.
My eldest daughter is like this with my husband. He works very long hours and unfortunately, only gets to see the girls for a sustained period of time at weekends seeing as they’re already in bed when he finishes work during the week.
Because of this, my eldest sees me as the one who makes her do stuff she doesn’t want to, the one who makes her do chores, and the one that punishes her when she’s naughty. Basically, I’m the bad guy My husband is the one that takes them to the park, or cinema, or for ice cream while I have time to myself at home. She sees him as the fun one, and I’m totally okay with that. I know she loves me and that I love her. I’m okay with this because my DH gets to spend so little time with them, I want their time together to be fun and not spent bickering with her to pick up her toys, if you know what I mean.
Your daughter sounds like she has a very special relationship with her granny, and with you.
Thank you so much, @pinkballerina!(if I remember right, [name_f]Anna[/name_f] is your name? Would you mind if I call you by name? I think usernames are pretty cold in comparison with names. ;))
I see what you mean. Basically, such situations happen in almost all families because mom usually see kids all day so they have to raise them up and educate, feed, wash etc. as well as amuse and play with. And as other family members don’t, they are considered much more fun than mommies thus they may have special ways and positions. As Otter have said, maybe we should just spend weekly a couple of hors away by ourselves so children will see moms are special in their own way and impossible to replace. I suppose kids just love to make best friends with another family members to have more fun and everything.
Thanks again, you are so helpful!
I’m a FTM too, and I also get a little jealous of how much my daughter loves her grandma. Your daughter’s excitement over granny sounds normal, but I agree it’s hard when you don’t feel like your child’s favorite person!
@leadmythoughts: yes, I agree. Maybe they just get tired and bored of being always with the same person?
First of all, I really do not think that you are too fussy or too loud or frightening your daughter. I am positive that your daughters adores you. [name_m]How[/name_m] old is [name_u]Nelly[/name_u]? If she is still taking a bottle, she probably hasn’t even reached the serious separation anxiety stage yet. She will show her preference for you more and more as she gets older.
My mom has always said that babies want to snuggle with grandma because grandma is plumper and thus cushier. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t worry about this! It is totally normal and actually really wonderful that your daughter will get to grow up with a close relationship with her grandma. I totally understand how you feel though- as her mom, you do EVERYTHING for her all day.
I agree with the babysitting plan, though! It is good to have some grownup time with your boyfriend.
My daughter adores my parents too- I think its because they aren’t trying to clean or cook or do laundry or anything while they are with her… she gets ALL their attention. They are always bringing out toys or food, singing to her, or generally entertaining her. If she is at their house and she falls down or something, she is scooped up right away for a cuddle and a distraction. And they can do that, because it is exciting for them & they aren’t burned out from taking care of her all day every day on top of regular life.
My daughter still prefers me, I think, but she is always SUPER excited to see my parents. Once she gets tired though or is genuinely really upset, she would always rather have mama or daddy.
[name_m]How[/name_m] old is she? Kids go through phases with who they prefer. I also don’t think there is anything you’re doing or not doing to cause this preference.
Thank you all for replies! I am glad to get advice. 
[name_u]Nelly[/name_u] is going to be 4 months on the 12th, so still a baby. And she has adored grandma since her first days, maybe that’s just something special in their relationship.
@tarynkay: I don’t have a granny (she had died before I was born) so there is a chance that I probably just don’t know how magical and fantastic grandmas can be to grandchildren… But I immediately followed the advice, boyfriend and me had a meal out and when we got home, [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] was so happy and smiley that she even allowed me to cuddle her and take away from my mom. [name_u]Magic[/name_u]!
@[name_f]Katie[/name_f]: I understand you absolutely, [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] is basically the same with the exception she is much smaller so she can’t express her emotions directly.
@feberin: thank you. I can’t say for sure whether I am acting like a perfect mom but I have only little experience though try my best. I guess [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] kind of got used to me and granny is new and exciting to her, that’s all.
You will always be Nellys favorite, like others said she just doesn’t react cause she’s always with you.
I leave [name_f]Ayla[/name_f] with my [name_f]MIL[/name_f] for an hour every week while I go to Pilates, she never cares that I’m going but is so excited when I get back!
My mum is in Nz and we’re in Aus. My parents are coming over next week for [name_f]Ayla[/name_f]'s birthday and I’m really hoping [name_f]Ayla[/name_f] is as comfortable with Granny Chic as she is with her Aussie Gran. Fingers crossed!
And PS glad you and your SO are getting some couple time. It’s good for you and [name_u]Nelly[/name_u], enjoy it!
Thank you, @tuitree! I will dedinitelt talk to my mom and ask if she can babysit [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] for a few hours very two or three weeks so I can have free time and stuff. And I am going to plan evening dates with boyfriend few times a months. By the way, @tuitree, I love your daugher’s name, [name_f]Ayla[/name_f] is fabulous.
Hey - just wanted to say that I’m 25.5 weeks with our first (a girl) and we currently live with my mom and dad, so grandma and grandpa will be a big part of baby girl’s life when she arrives. So I’ve already thought about a situation like this coming up and it was making me a bit nervous - so this has been very interesting and helpful to read! Thanks for posting, all of you!
You know, at only four months, [name_u]Nelly[/name_u] doesn’t even see you and her as separate people yet. I did not know this before [name_m]Lev[/name_m] was born, but I was told that this is where separation anxiety comes from- they figure out that you are separate people (usually sometime between nine months and two years.) That is when they usually start showing a strong mama preference. It’s not that they aren’t bonded to you before then, just that they sort of take your presence for granted.
I am glad that the date went so well!
Are you a stay-at-home mom? I am and I feel like I can relate to this because my daughter is so used to being with me that I am not nearly as glamorous as my sister! She goes crazy for her Auntie & some days I feel a bit left out, but mostly I try to embrace it and leave them to play while I run off to get done the 1000 things I can’t get done with my daughter around. Those feelings of being left out are totally normal! But take the opportunity to go do your nails or veg out in front of the computer or something!