[name_m]Just[/name_m] curious- when I see talk on here about throwing out lists and starting from scratch, I wonder how it really works. Is it possible for you to really toss out your favorite names or is it more of a clear everything out then see what you still want to keep kind of thing? Trying to figure out if I’m weird or what because I think if I deleted/ tossed all my lists, I’d just remake them all with the same names.
I’ve done this. Not in naming an actual child, but just in making a list of favorite names. I have my list, I like all the names, but I realize that that’s all there is to it. I only like them.
I recently did it with my boy’s list. My top names went from being [name_m]Torrin[/name_m], [name_m]Jacob[/name_m], and [name_m]Oliver[/name_m] to Dashiel, [name_m]Hector[/name_m], and [name_m]Matthias[/name_m]. The whole list got a stylistic reset, and while some names are the same, for the most part it’s all different. Similarly, my girl’s list has gone from names like [name_f]Eliette[/name_f] and [name_f]Annalie[/name_f], to [name_f]Rosalia[/name_f] and [name_f]Annika[/name_f], to [name_f]Helena[/name_f] and [name_u]Valentine[/name_u]. If I’d insisted on keeping my lists over the years, my style would never have morphed, I’d just be repeating the same names over and over again.
The problem with making name lists is you get stuck in a box. Especially when you’re trying to narrow it down, not expand it. I think that a lot of people get down to a few names from their list, and realize that the reason they can’t decide between them is because they were never the right names in the first place. So starting from scratch isn’t really throwing out favorite names, it’s more like freeing yourself to find other options.
When I start from scratch, I usually omit my top 10 (or so) and see what else appeals to me when those aren’t options. Generally, I’ll make separate lists for a while (Spanish, Catalan, French, Basque, etc) until I have favourites from each becoming overall favourites instead.
If some of my top 10 just can not stay away, I think it’s fair to reintroduce them.
When it comes to needing to compromise, then what I’d personally do is have my SO write out a list of like, 30 names minimum that he likes/ loves and see what I’d have to work with.
When I start over, I throw out any names on my list that are guilty pleasures I’d never use, names I don’t [name_f]LOVE[/name_f], and names my SO didn’t agree with. That gives me very few to go on. I add new names that are similar from there. (:
It’s not exactly starting from scratch, but it’s pretty close.
My process is similar to balloonsforellie’s-- I have days when I suddenly realize that half my list isn’t doing it for me anymore, so I delete 10-20 names from my long list, shift a few more from long to short, and go in search of new name loves. My top two for each gender usually stay the same, though. Usually.
I also have a “Considering” list of names that are orbiting my favorites, which I mull over and revisit to decide which names are worthy of my long list and which aren’t.
For me, I have a really long list, and then a list of favourites, and recently I realized lots of my favourites are gaining in popularity, and would presumably be too popular by the time I would be using them.
So, I put those names just on the long list, and then either picked new favourites from my secondary choices, or took the qualities I liked from my popular favourites to try less common ones with the same feel.
Nameberry is really easy to do that with the search options, and I actually found a ton of new favourites.
(Example, favourite name [name_f]Nora[/name_f], I look up starts with N, two syllables, ends in A, and I find [name_f]Nina[/name_f] and [name_f]Nola[/name_f]. Or, just 2 syllables, ends in ra, which leads you to Mara and Clara.)
Very interesting. I’m going to try some of your methods out and see how it goes!
I think it’s possible to start completely from scratch. We have a daughter named [name_f]Jillian[/name_f] [name_f]Rachel[/name_f], and we’re expecting a baby boy in [name_u]November[/name_u]. We’ve decided to name him [name_m]Christopher[/name_m] [name_m]Michael[/name_m]. [name_m]Both[/name_m] names were not on my name list originally. My husband and I didn’t agree on a lot of names and [name_f]Jillian[/name_f] was the one girl’s name that we both loved. First time around we were going to use the name [name_u]James[/name_u] if it was a boy. This time around [name_u]James[/name_u] wasn’t even on the table, and [name_m]Christopher[/name_m] came up and we both loved it. So definitely possible to start over and still be very happy with your name selections in the end.
Since I’m not anywhere near having kids, I don’t really have a process I guess. I just have one big master list (girls and boys) and write down all the names I like or love. Some I would probably not use, but like I said, since I’m not expecting it’s not a big deal to me if I have one giant list. When I do eventually have kids I’ll probably start trying to trim down the number of names, but for now I just like collecting and playing around with combos for my future kids!
Of course, I do have a smaller list of the names I feel strongest about. When I fall out of love with one it gets moved off and another doesn’t necessarily take it’s place unless I feel strong enough about it.
I was just over my old style my boys names stayed the same but my girls names. I posted a heap of threads with names I liked and worked through them until I found a top ten I was happy with. Some of them i will never use like [name_f]Eulalia[/name_f] and [name_f]Wilhelmina[/name_f] but I love them anyway.
I have a very similar process to this. I have a set of rules that I use to screen my ‘considering’ list, so my favourites list rarely gets to a point where I feel the need to overhaul it completely. My partner and I have also had a set number one for each gender for aaaages, so those never change.
The only time I really ‘started from stratch’ was when I realised I had two styles within my girls’ favourites, decided that one particularly style (strong suffragette-type girls over softer [name_m]French[/name_m] fancies) was more the way I wanted to go, and revamped my whole list by keeping in mind the image I wanted. Some of my old ‘softer style’ girls have still snuck back in though, ha.