Question for mom's or dad's with multiples!

Parentberries
1

Hello lovely ladies and gentlemen,

As some of you might know I’m a mom to triplets, you probably saw the hundreds of posts one their names!
In 2 weeks [name]Jack[/name], [name]Hugo[/name] and [name]Emmy[/name] will be 5 months old, and it is increasingly clear that they are at completely different stages of development. I’ve talked to my doctors and health nurses about this and they have assured me that everything is fine, so I’m not worried at all, they are hitting their marks just taking their time. However, where we live there aren’t many parents with multiples, so I don’t really have anyone to give me their advice or experiences, I can read a book but I am hoping for something a little more personal. I love the opinions I get on Nameberry, I also like how it’s a community of people from all around the world and from starkly different cultures :slight_smile:

So this is where I’m at… [name]Jack[/name], the “oldest”, can roll over, and is almost sitting up, [name]Hugo[/name] call occasionally roll over, but cannot sit at all and [name]Emmeline[/name] can’t do either, she is our little chiller :slight_smile: I know that because they were so tiny at birth I can expect that they will be slower than other babies, but [name]Jack[/name] is flying along, he is huge! They have pretty much caught up in size, [name]Emmy[/name] is just a tad slower… Each of them sleep differently, [name]Emmy[/name] is a fantastic sleeper, [name]Jack[/name] is horrible (he sleeps in the lounge room otherwise there is mayhem!!!) and [name]Hugo[/name] is somewhere in between… again the differences are unexpected for me, a first time mom!

So after all that here’s my question, These small developmental differences will continue all their lives, they will talk and walk at different times, write and ride bikes at different times, I’m under no illusions about any of it, however I just want to know how you have dealt with the differences, people all ready compare them and as much as I try not too I occasionally do to, it’s inevitable… So again how have you or how are you dealing with the comparisons? Whether you have twins triplets or even octuplets :wink: I would love to here your experience!

Sorry if all that is incredibly confusing, if you don’t get it let me know :slight_smile:
Thanks in advance,
[name]Grace[/name] xx

2

I would suggest finding a reputable book or two with all the developmental milestones in it (looking in particular for the ranges – most will say things like “between 4-5 months…” or “after 6 months, but generally before 9…”), and then ask your doctor for advice about using your babies’ “adjusted ages” to gauge their progress. Generally, preemies have adjusted milestones based loosely on their expected due date rather than their actual birth date. It might help a bit to have an idea of the ranges for each milestone (some of which are fairly wide ranges, and therefore include a lot of leeway on what is “normal”) and the appropriate adjustments so that you can reassure yourself (and anyone else who remarks upon it) that all three are somewhere on the same spectrum of what is expected.

3

Thanks for your response. However, I think you may have been a tad confused…don’t worry I expect everyone to be :slight_smile: I’ve read and read and spoken to multiple doctors about my babies milestones so I’m well aware that they are where they should be, [name]Jack[/name] is actually quite ahead! My question is sort of across the lifespan though, how do people deal with comparisons of multiples all through life?
Thanks again though!
[name]Grace[/name]

4

I have never had multiples, but I am pregnant with identical twins so I suppose that counts for something. I’m due in [name]March[/name]. I actually used to nanny twins, a boy and a girl, when I was in college. They were about 4 months old, and I cared for them until they were two and a half. They were micro-preemies, so they were very slow at developing but had no major obstacles. The little girl, [name]Cecelia[/name], did develop faster than her male counterpart, [name]Andrew[/name]. By the time [name]Andrew[/name] was learning to sit up [name]Cecelia[/name] was already rolling over, sitting, and starting to try to pull herself up. She could stand up if you held her hands, however [name]Andrew[/name] could not. After taking care of them for a few weeks I finally asked their mother about their differences. She said their preemie doctor (neonatal doctor) said it was perfectly normal, and they ended up evening out by the time they were 12-18 months old. Now, they are healthy 8 year old 3rd graders. I am looking forward to have my own twins, although it’s a little daunting as a first time mum to go from a family of two to a family of four, but I am very blessed.
Thanks
[name]Lillie[/name] R

5

[name]Hi[/name], I’m mum to Identical twin boys who have just turned 3. It is really hard to have to babies at the same age and not compare, no matter how much you tell yourself that they are their own people I think it’s just natural. You will find that people will compare then there whole life, it’s just a fact of being a multiple so it’s our job as parents of multiples to do our best to treat them as the individual little people that they are, it’s even harder for me because mine are identical to not compare every thing they do. I’m not sure where your from but is there any multiple birth clubs where your from? I’m from Australia and have connected with so many mums through an online forum (AMBA) and also made many [name]IRL[/name] friends from our local multiple birth clubs. It’s really helped a lot. I love your trips names by the way, just gorgeous !

[name]Kristy[/name]