This is about my own name. I very much want to take on my significant other’s last name ([name_m]Jones[/name_m]) when we have children (they will have his last name and I feel it would make us more of a “complete” family). I have no love for my current last name ([name_u]Read[/name_u]) so losing it isn’t an issue and I also [name_f]DO[/name_f] NOT want a hyphenated last name. The trouble is that my first name starts with B so my initials would become BJ. I would never bestow those initials on a child (and I’ve read other Berries on here cautioning others not to do the same) so I’m concerned about taking that on for myself.
I guess my question is: Is choosing to have the initials BJ a terrible mistake or am I making a big deal out of nothing?
If you are really worried about it, just keep your maiden name. I think I actually know more women who kept their own name rather than changing in the current generation that are marrying at the moment.
You could use your middle name to break up those letters. If your middle name is [name_f]Anne[/name_f] you’d be BAJ for example. If you don’t have a middle name you could take your maiden name as your middle name and be BRJ.
Use three initials - either your current name and your initials are B?J or drop your middle name and use [name_u]Reed[/name_u] as your middle name and your initials are BRJ. That is what I did… I dropped my middle (which was just a filler name anyway) and took on my maiden name as my middle name. Whenever I need to initial things (often sections of documents), I use PRW.
As an adult, I don’t see how this is an issue. [name_m]How[/name_m] often are you addressed by your initials? [name_m]Even[/name_m] assuming that this happens with some regularly, do you really believe that the adults around you are going to be so juvenile as to make fun?
From grade six onwards, I attended school with a boy named [name_u]Blair[/name_u] [name_m]Joseph[/name_m], who actually went by the initials in question. He was never teased, that I’m aware of. If a bunch of 13 year old boys can manage, I think you’ll be fine.
As an adult, I don’t see how this is an issue. [name_m]How[/name_m] often are you addressed by your initials? [name_m]Even[/name_m] assuming that this happens with some regularly, do you really believe that the adults around you are going to be so juvenile as to make fun?
From grade six onwards, I attended school with a boy named [name_u]Blair[/name_u] [name_m]Joseph[/name_m], who actually went exclusively by the initials in question. He was never teased, that I’m aware of. If a bunch of 13 year old boys can manage, I think you’ll be fine.
My sister’s initials are BJ. It bothers her but no one ever points it out because they don’t care/they don’t notice/they’d never point it out to her face. It’s not a big deal.
My thoughts exactly. My mom did the same thing. She didn’t have a middle name, so she just took her maiden name as her middle and always initials things with all three initials.
I think the main reason you wouldn’t do it to a child is because kids are cruel. I don’t see any problem with it as an adult. And, like pp’s said, how often are your first and last initials used, especially without your middle initial as well.
Wow, you guys, thanks for all the responses! I honestly have been getting used to the idea that the initials BJ wouldn’t be a big deal, but all the confirmations from you Berries helps me feel more secure about that. Also, the suggestions of including my middle initial is a great idea which I will take into consideration.
I actually went to school with a [name_f]Barbra[/name_f] [name_u]Jean[/name_u], who chose to go by B.J. from the time I was 11 until I was 13 - she was picked on by ONE immature boy in my class, who picked on everyone for anything. I don’t think you’ll have a problem as an adult whatsoever.
I think you are absolutely fine! One, you are an adult and you really don’t have to worry about jokes. Two, you can just use your middle name also when you do have to write your anitials. Three, you really never have to use your anitials that much anyway. In my opinion you will be fine and it will not be a big problem. But if it really bothers you then keep your maiden name or hyphenate it. [name_f]Hope[/name_f] his helps!
