Questions about Parenthood?

[name_m]Hi[/name_m]! I’m not actually a mother, but I wanted to understand certain things from the point of a mother and find out how they decided on rules and names and such.

1.) [name_m]How[/name_m] did you pick your child(ren)’s names?
2.) Did you have a baby shower? What was it like?
3.) Did you wait till birth to learn the gender or learn before?
4.) If you have more than one child, did/do they share a room?
5.) What are a few uncompromisable rules that you have for your child(ren)?
6.) What is one thing that your child(ren) do that never fails to piss you off?
7.) What color(s) was/is the nursery?
8.) What is one thing that people tell you about your parenting/lifestyle with children that greatly annoys you?

If you find a question offensive or just don’t like it, please don’t answer! I don’t mean to make anybody uncomfortable. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to respond!

  1. For [name_f]Rosie[/name_f], my husband and I had a list of three names we liked (same names in different order). [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] was #2 for both of us so it was the natural compromise. Her middle is from His Dark Materials which we both love. She was named the day I found out I was pregnant. [name_f]Atty[/name_f] wad a process and a half, we couldn’t agree on any boy names. Throughout my pregnancy my daughter latched on to [name_m]Atticus[/name_m] when it was mentioned, but after a lot of back and forth we decided on [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] around 37 weeks – but when he came out he looked more like an [name_m]Atticus[/name_m]. [name_m]Jon[/name_m] is my husband’s middle.

  2. I didn’t really have a baby shower, didn’t want one. Work threw me a little one at work which was nice, with some presents and cupcakes.

  3. We found out at the 20 week scan, but I “knew” with both from the start. I can’t imagine leaving it a surprise, mamas who have the willpower to do that are amazing!

  4. We have an off-and-on cosleeping situation with both but yes, the idea is that they share a room. When they’re older and they voice a need for more privacy we will separate them, but we want to get as much time having a guest room as possible!

  5. That they behave in public. If they are shouting, running through the store, talking back, chucking tantrums, etc., we leave. Not sharing with a friend at the park? We’re gone. I get really embarrassed about stiff like that. So [name_f]Rosie[/name_f] has learned very quickly and is an angel when we are out and about, most of the time.

  6. Talking back. I am the mother of an extremely intelligent, redheaded Threenager. The sass is strong. For [name_f]Atty[/name_f], he is a nightmare trying to get his diaper changed. He rolls over the second you put him down. Drives me crazy!

  7. We were renting and couldn’t paint for [name_f]Rosie[/name_f], but when we moved we painted her room light green.

  8. “Oh, they might sleep if you ______.” As though I haven’t already tried literally everything. Or any unsolicited advice really. I spend my free time reading baby articles and forums, I’m more up to date than someone who raised a baby 30+ years ago.

My little guy isn’t born yet but still technically a mother!

  1. His first name we heard in a sermon at church, given by a man who was a mentor to my husband. We automatically both felt it was THE name for a son, should we have one someday. We liked that he’d get to have his own first name and not a family name for a first name plus it ties in with our journey to conceiving him. His first middle name is a family name, in a sense. Two relatives were named variants of the name [name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m], so we went with that. His second middle name is one of my husband’s middle names.

  2. I’m not having one. Too much family drama, I don’t like the attention, and I just don’t see the need for one.

  3. We found out via genetic testing done at about 10 weeks (results came back about 2 weeks later).

  4. This will be our first but, should we have another child, they’d most likely share for at least a while, depending on what happens in the future.

  5. I really like @northernlights answer and really would love to implement that into my own parenting style. If I’m being realistic, I think that I/we will end up having to adapt to changes as not only the baby grows, but as we grow and as situations change…so I’m struggling to come up with another answer to this question.

  6. He’s still unborn, so he can’t do much to upset me at this point! lol

  7. It’s blue. That’s what color it was when we bought the house and new paint is just an unnecessary expense right now.

  8. He isn’t here yet but I’ll just say ALL OF IT. DH and I intentionally tell our families and friends very little about the pregnancy and our decisions regarding how we will raise our son but people have found ways to latch on. They found out we intend to cloth diaper, so we got slammed with comments about how we will be too lazy to do it or about how difficult it is. They found out we are having a boy, so we got TONS of comments about circumcising vs not, gender roles…even how to not raise a “toxic male”! It just goes on and on…epidural vs none, breastfeeding vs bottle-feeding (and god forbid I say I am open to whatever works for us…apparently the only right answer is breastfeeding), onesies vs sleep sacks, vaccines vs anti-vaxx, etc. It is very annoying, to say the absolute least. People lose all tact once you get pregnant.

1.) I made a list of all the names I love and could maybe see myself using. Then my SO and I did a process of elimination and narrowed it down to about 5 first names. We went back and forth on those 5 names before landing on the one!
2.) I didn’t have a baby shower since I don’t love being the center of attention but people sent gifts anyway which was nice!
3.) We found out she was a girl at the 20 week ultrasound.
4.) I just have one but if I had two, they would each have a room.
5.) Nothing really yet since she’s so young.
6.) I really hate it when she throws her food :frowning:
7.) Right now, it’s all the colors of the rainbow. When we move, we’re painting it a light coral.
8.) My parents-in-law nitpick and question everything. I can’t stand it…

1.) [name_m]How[/name_m] did you pick your child(ren)’s names?
With difficulty. We narrowed down our lists the best that we could, then when they were born we chose the one that we felt suited them best. It was never easy though.
2.) Did you have a baby shower? What was it like?
No I didn’t.
3.) Did you wait till birth to learn the gender or learn before?
We learned before
4.) If you have more than one child, did/do they share a room?
They have their own rooms but regularly end up in the same bedroom
5.) What are a few uncompromisable rules that you have for your child(ren)?
I don’t really have any uncompromisable rules, to be honest. People call me a free-range parent but really I just want my children to explore and do things their own way. Of course I have boundaries, but I’m good at compromising.
6.) What is one thing that your child(ren) do that never fails to piss you off?
[name_m]Cos[/name_m] always asks for a specific meal then turns it down once I’ve cooked it. It’s no biggie but it’s irritating AF. She’s a big foodie though so usually ends up giving in.
7.) What color(s) was/is the nursery?
We kept the walls neutral and decorated with accessories. We never really had a theme, but my husband described it as ‘boho’. lol.
8.) What is one thing that people tell you about your parenting/lifestyle with children that greatly annoys you?
People just call me a hippie Mom. Whatever that means, lol. They say I’m not strict enough, my kids walk all over me, I don’t discipline enough, etc.

  1. Trawled many books/sites for inspiration. Decided which ones I liked that suited my “rules” (syllables, initials, ending sound etc). [name_m]Ran[/name_m] them past hubby for him to veto. Created shortlist. Narrowed shortlist down to 2 per gender. Decided after birth which suited baby best.
  2. Did not have a baby shower, don’t really enjoy them. Instead we had a “come meet the baby” party a couple months after they arrived.
  3. Did not find out gender, and so glad we didn’t. Loved finding out right after the birth.
  4. [name_f]Happy[/name_f] for my kids to share a bedroom for as long as they both want to.
  5. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t tolerate violence or unkindness.
  6. I find the whinging and clingyness really hard to deal with sometimes - I’m working on my patience!
  7. We never really set up a nursery or redecorated. Bedroom was a nice pale peachy cream colour. Keep furnishings pretty earthy tones.
  8. I think people giving you unwanted opinions can be tough. I’m still breastfeeding my 2 year old and some people think that I’m doing us both a disservice by continuing.
  1. For first name I suggested loads which hubby vetoed 99% of and said “yeh that’s ok I guess” to a very few, and he suggested a total of 2 which I vetoed. After she was born we tossed about the ones we both liked until we settled on the one that felt right. For middle I had free reign, picked one to honour bunch of much loved family (most of whom have passed away): [name_u]Joan[/name_u], [name_m]John[/name_m], [name_f]Jane[/name_f], [name_f]Ann[/name_f].

  2. Yep. Nice to see people and had some lovely gifts and a few fun games. Some games a bit cheesy and kinda felt immature. Felt bit awkward being centre of attention and getting gifts just for getting pregnant.

  3. Found out at 20 week scan. [name_m]Way[/name_m] too excited to wait and didn’t see the difference between finding out at birth or early. After going through birth though, I wonder if having an extra surprise as a reward after all that might be worth waiting for?! But I did have a crap birth in some ways, and dunno if I’ve got enough willpower to not find out.

  4. N/A

  5. None. I don’t want hard and fast rules. There’ll be boundaries for sure, but I don’t see my job as being to enforce rules but rather as being to teach: teach her how to manage her emotions, how to keep herself physically and mentally healthy, empathy and care for others, personal responsibility and sustainability of the planet, etc.

  6. Nothing yet! She’s not even one. I find the clinginess really hard but it doesn’t piss me off, it’s just a big change from how life used to be that I’m still adjusting to. My older boy though, of the feline variety, loves trying to jump on her when she’s just fallen asleep on my lap, or come down the hallway yowling at the top of her lungs seconds after she’s drifted off. That pisses me off!

  7. Room was light purple when we bought the house, and we haven’t bothered to re-paint. Honestly, her room has just become a massive dumping ground for baby things as we never even managed to get her in there… was in bassinet in our room til 4 months, then she decided to move into our bed.

  8. I’ve got this really lovely neighbour (genuinely lovely!) but she did everything different to how we do, and sometimes it feels like she’s a little judgy about us, and she always shares advice how they shoved dummies in their babies and dosed them up on pamol… def not co-sleeping or having a messy house because you’d rather allow baby to be clingy than listen to them cry!

  1. Our first has two family names from two women we really wanted to honor. Our second - if it was a boy he would have a middle after my father in law, if it was a girl she would have a middle after my dad. It was a girl so she has a twist on my dads name as her middle. For her first name - we both kept giving options that we liked, ended up with a short list of three. We threw out one as it’s too close to my sister in laws name, we threw out another because we like it better for a boy ([name_u]Rowan[/name_u]) and ended up with [name_f]Margot[/name_f].
  2. For my first we did. It was a co-ed party with no baby games. (I insisted!) It ended up being a really fun party. We didn’t want a baby shower for my second and we ended up doing a gender reveal party instead. It was a great way to celebrate the baby without asking for gifts. It turned out really fun too.
  3. We found out with my first at the 20 week scan. I could have waited l, but my husband really wanted to know. With my second, he found out at the 20 week scan and I waited until our reveal party. Which was about one month later.
  4. They have separate rooms. We have a three bedroom. But they will share if we have another baby.
  5. I don’t really have any. My oldest is two.
  6. Not too much. She’s two, so she’s in the tantrum stage right now, but it’s because she’s learning how to communicate.
  7. My older daughter has a [name_u]Grey[/name_u] and white striped room. The grey is ozark shadows by [name_m]Benjamin[/name_m] [name_m]Moore[/name_m]. The little ones room is hazy sky’s by [name_m]Benjamin[/name_m] [name_m]Moore[/name_m] and one wall is white shiplap.
  8. I’ve never really gotten annoying advice or had people be too judgy towards me. My [name_f]MIL[/name_f] was a little overbearing in my first pregnancy but I nipped that in the bud pretty quick !

1.) [name_m]How[/name_m] did you pick your child(ren)’s names?

We both had names we originally loved. [name_f]Alice[/name_f] was my favorite and [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f] was his. He had bad associations with [name_f]Alice[/name_f] and so it was vetoed, I just wasn’t feeling [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f] for this baby (but may do for future babies!). He found [name_f]Harriet[/name_f] on my long list and said he liked it, I obviously liked it too (alongside all the consequent nicknames) and it just felt right and so [name_f]Hattie[/name_f] got her name, I couldn’t imagine her as anything else now.

Her middle was originally just going to be [name_f]Rose[/name_f] because I enjoyed the flow but someone mentioned that it sounded double barreled and I didn’t want any confusion so we added [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] in - this was a name we both adored but couldn’t use as a first name because there’d be bad associations along with our last name (due to an infamous [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]) and we disliked nickname options. Both Elizabeth and Rose also had family connections.

2.) Did you have a baby shower? What was it like?

No baby shower for me, I hate being centre of attention and so avoided it. I had multiple people asking for one though and did have a little work thing in the end.

3.) Did you wait till birth to learn the gender or learn before?

Before! I was still struggling to believe that a baby was in there so learning the gender was really important for me to begin creating that bond. We had a really lovely moment in a private scan where the sonographer handed us example photos and got us to guess ourselves so I’m glad we decided to find out during pregnancy.

4.) If you have more than one child, did/do they share a room?

We only have one (for now!) and she has her own room. We’re planning to move to a bigger house before we have any more children so they can each have their own rooms.

5.) What are a few uncompromisable rules that you have for your child(ren)?

No hard and fast rules. She’s only one but we are trying to teach her to be gentle with the cat, not throw food (that’s not going too successfully) and to not touch anything she’s not supposed to!

6.) What is one thing that your child(ren) do that never fails to piss you off?

She never “pisses me off” per se but when she wakes up at 4am I do get a shiver up my spine on the thought of dragging myself out of bed to sit with her for potentially an hour or two. I guess when she’s being really fussy when getting changed can also be quite frustrating, or when she’s refusing to eat but we’re working out ways to make it less of a chore for her.

7.) What color(s) was/is the nursery?

White with woodland animal stickers. I’ve been telling everyone that she’s going to have so many colourful things in her nursery that the walls don’t need to exacerbate that any further!

8.) What is one thing that people tell you about your parenting/lifestyle with children that greatly annoys you?

I’ve been quite lucky that I’ve not experienced much of this. I think the closest thing would be my family wanting to feed her unhealthy food (cake, chocolate etc.) despite me asking them not to. I just think she needs to at least start life with a healthy lifestyle but they’re just so keen to see her reactions to different foods.