I was curious what etiquette dictated in regard to this. I can think of plenty of reasons someone would want to have a shower (celebrating the baby with or without presents) or wouldn’t have everything they needed for a 2nd baby (having a child long enough after the last that they didn’t keep their baby gear, having a baby of a different gender or in the opposite season) but I always thought it was considered in poor taste. I know what’s socially acceptable changes, like it used to be unthinkable for someone in the family to throw the shower, but now it seems fairly common for the baby’s grandmother or aunt to throw the shower. I really hadn’t thought about it until I saw someone post where she’d registered on facebook. Maybe she knew there were people who wanted to give gifts and the registry is to guide them to the things she actually does need for the new baby since she does have most of the baby stuff already. If it’s totally ok for a second baby, at what point is it going too far? By the 4th or 5th I’d think most people would have more baby paraphernalia than they knew what to do with.
In my circle, having a Blessing [name]Way[/name] is a thing many people do. Basically a party celebrating the mother and baby to be. Some people bring gifts (there isnt a registry) and [name]Ive[/name] been to ones where we all pitch in for a prenatal massage gift certficate, bring a frozen meal for the mom to stqsh away, bring diapers if the mom plans on using the disposible kind, or just shownup for food and fun! My parents and inlaws generation think its silly, but whatever. My first shower sucked (we had just moved back to the area, knowing nobody) and I gave away everything after our stillbirth so I am told there may be more of a gift type.shower for me with this baby, who knows. Either way, I think all pregnancies and babes shouod be celebrated…its antiquated to think a mama needs no attention just because its her first, no matter what the gender. (I have seen preferential treatment to certain people who find out the gender and then they get stuff because their first child or two was the other gender…)
I think that sounds lovely. I understand the practicality of a gift-based shower, especially for a first baby, but a celebration of the pregnancy and the baby appeals to me more. I’m not having a shower, but am sharing information and special moments with my friends as things go along. I did register, in part to guide the people who I know will want to give me something, but also as a reminder to myself of what I need. As I get things off my list, either as gifts or ones I buy myself, I update my registry, which I find very helpful.
I don’t think it’s a big deal. I don’t know very many people who really care about etiquette regarding baby showers. I think every baby should be celebrated, regardless of when in the line it was born. And it’s been my experience that people want to celebrate and don’t really worry about what is “socially acceptable”. Especially if the parents really need some things for the new baby. A friend of mine is throwing one for our second (of the same gender) and we’re requesting no gifts. We know that some people will want to bring ksomething, so we’ve said that if they want, they can bring consumables (wipes, baby wash, lotion, etc.).
My feeling is that it’s for a baby. [name]Every[/name] baby deserves to be celebrated. It’s not like having a bridal shower after being married for five years. It’s a new baby.
I like the consumables idea. And the party itself isn’t what seemed odd to me. I think it was more that she announced where she was registered without saying anything about having a shower. And I wouldn’t think of it as a bridal shower 5 years later, but more like a bridal shower for a 2nd or 3rd marriage. Likewise, I could see giving a bottle of wine, or a donation to the honeymoon, which are consumables, but at some point, you’d start to think she’s probably got all the kitchen appliances she’ll ever need.
I think every baby should be celebrated, but that doesn’t necessarily mean with gifts. I like the idea of bringing consumables; cheap enough to buy one, but expensive for the parents to buy over and over.
My cousin is on her second baby, and she is having a [name]Baby[/name] Sprinkle, and she made is donating any gifts to a pantry for mothers who cannot afford to provide for their children. I think that is a wonderful idea.
I’ve gone to a shower for a second baby complete with registry & I think it is a bit of poor taste.
I think if I had a second child & someone insisted on throwing one I wouldn’t fight it off too hard, but I wouldn’t register. I think in that situation if anyone really wanted to get a big ticket item they would have to ask around.
People do it all kinds of ways though & most people in my age group don’t regard etiquette as super important it seems.
We had a shower for [name]Jude[/name]. A friend threw it for me. I wasn’t really too concerned about having one, but I was game when she asked. It seems odd because my kids are only 15 months apart, but I had a little girl and now was expecting a boy so we wanted to get a few new things. Like his godmother got him a infant to toddler booster seat. A few friends got boy clothes for him. I did end up having a registry, but it was short and I didn’t really tell anyone about it.
I really like the idea of a [name]Baby[/name] Sprinkle. Another good idea is a gender reveal party or a meet the baby party (after the birth, of course!). I think if we have another, I’d love to do a gender reveal party as a way to celebrate the baby.
I registered with [name]Rowan[/name], and I only ended up getting 1 item off the list. Everyone brought things that were cute, but not necessary. The next time around, I’m going to have a shower/party mostly because I like to see all my friends in one place and I like cooking for everyone. I will know what is necessary/important for a newborn and what is frivolous (90% of newborn items, lol) so next time, I’m only going to ask for diapers, wipes, and formula, or a gift card to Walmart or Target.
I remember as a kid coming across some pictures from my mother’s baby shower when she was expecting me and asking my mom where the pictures from my younger sister’s shower were. I felt so sorry for my sister when I learned that she didn’t get a shower celebrating her upcoming birth. I didn’t think that was fair at all.
So yeah, I’m definitely in favor of showers/celebrations for all babies. My best friend had showers when she was pregnant with all three of her kids (two boys, one girl), and I didn’t think it was tacky at all.