Renaming Pascal

Boy Names
1

Hello, nameberry. Looking for some help. We are adopting a Nigerian boy and are looking at possibly renaming him. He WANTS a new name, we aren’t just changing it for the heck of it.

We’re wondering: Is it better to give him a name that could share a nickname with [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] to make the transition easier (i.e. [name_m]Calvin[/name_m]), or an entirely separate name with [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] in the middle (i.e. [name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_m]Pascal[/name_m])? He’s 3 if that changes anything. We’re leaning towards the second but we’d like some advice as we’ve never done this before.

Suggestions for either option are more than welcome!!! We have two boys, [name_m]Zev[/name_m] (Zevediah) and Koa.

Btw, sorry for any errors, I’m typing from my phone!

2

I have a cousin who was adopted and his name was Quishad. His adoptive parents changed his name to [name_u]James[/name_u] Quishad and he hates that so much! I think he feels a little upset and betrayed by his birth parents at the moment, but he could get over it later, we won’t know. [name_m]Just[/name_m] to keep that in mind :slight_smile: [name_f]Do[/name_f] what feels right to you. Good luck!

3

I vote that you keep Pascal! I love the name and it has such great nickname options: Pace, Pacey, Pax, Cal. The name Pax would fit in so nicely with Zev and Koa!

4

Thanks for the input! We appreciate it immensly!
Note: We would not even being considering changing it had he not asked for another name, so whatever we choose I don’t expect him to feel betrayed (although as a teen some kids find reasons like that to be angry). We, if we do change his name, plan on presenting him with three-five options, one of them being just [name_m]Pascal[/name_m], and so it will be his decision. We’re afraid that if we don’t present him with options, he’ll name himself something like the president, Goodluck [name_m]Jonathan[/name_m]. Lol.

5

Why does he want to change his name? Mostly curious, but also wondering whether his reasons might help guide your choice.

Although the nickname-sharing idea is clever, I think if he wants to change it, you should change it completely and keep [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] as a middle. I’d say five options is too many for a three-year-old (as you probably know) but three choices should give him one that he’s happy with.

Exciting! Good luck!

6

Thanks for the input, [name_f]Pam[/name_f]! He wants to change it partially because some of the older kids at the orphanage where he lives tease him about his name because it has the same beginning sound as a not-so-nice word. It doesn’t bother him that much, but it does make him insecure. (They don’t use this word in the US, but he doesn’t understand that as he’s never left his village) But really, I think it’s mostly because he thinks it would be cool to have a name that his new parents gave him. [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] was not given to him by his birth mother, but just randomly decided on by a teacher at the orphanage when he was 18(ish) mo, so he feels very little connection to the name (I don’t think any kids get connected to names at such a young age, but you know what I mean). We still want to keep it somewhat, but don’t feel super attached.

7

What an interesting question. So much to consider! I love how thoughtful you are about his present and possible future feelings. Sweet parents! I would second the idea to keep it limited to three choices so that it’s manageable for him. For what it’s worth, I agree that [name_u]Pax[/name_u] fits with your other children’s names best, but since part of his interest in a new name is because he was insecure with the odd one, I vote [name_u]Cal[/name_u]! It’s related, culturally relevant here, very simple, and won’t trip anyone up. Best of luck to you!

8

Three is far too young to decide that they want a new name for the rest of their life.

Keep [name_m]Pascal[/name_m], give him a new middle name, call him [name_u]Cal[/name_u] or [name_u]Pax[/name_u], and he can choose to go by his middle name when he’s older and able to make that decision.

9

Congratulations! [name_m]Little[/name_m] [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] seems pretty adorable. :slight_smile:

I disagree with @tigermama527 - he may not be old enough to know what name will suit him the rest of his life, but I’m sure he’ll grow into his new name, and I’m sure he’s dealt with enough to know whether he wants a new name, and if that’s what he wants, I think his wishes deserve to be respected. [name_m]Just[/name_m] like if you adopted a child who wanted to keep their name–would you change it? I know a lot of adopted kids who have wanted new names, and they are extremely adamant about it. For whatever reason–they associate their old name with loneliness and lack of a family, they want to be seen as more “American” (which their biological name might not be, if they’re from another country), or they just hate their name/have been teased for it, etc. I think it’s great you’re respecting little [name_m]Pascal[/name_m]'s wishes, and I think giving him a couple of options to choose from is pretty great, too. If you do really like [name_m]Pascal[/name_m], maybe keep it as one of the options, but emphasize that he could go by a cool new American nickname, like [name_u]Cal[/name_u] or [name_u]Pax[/name_u]. :slight_smile: And then give him two or three more options besides that.

I think [name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] is really cool, but I also think it’s fine to do something that could give you the nn [name_u]Cal[/name_u] or [name_u]Pax[/name_u], as well. Like [name_m]Calvin[/name_m], [name_m]Callan[/name_m], [name_m]Callum[/name_m], [name_m]Caleb[/name_m], [name_m]Calix[/name_m], [name_m]Callahan[/name_m], [name_m]Calloway[/name_m], [name_m]Caelan[/name_m], [name_m]Patrick[/name_m], [name_u]Paxton[/name_u] (or just [name_u]Pax[/name_u]!), etc. Or just keep [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] as a middle. I like the idea of keeping [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] as a middle, more than going with another [name_u]Cal[/name_u] name, mainly because it keeps his biological name, if he decides he wants to know more about where he came from, or wants to have a closer tie to it. (Besides, [name_m]Pascal[/name_m]'s just really cool!)

I think giving him a variety of options (provided you really like them, too!) would be pretty great. Like [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] [name_u]Jude[/name_u] “[name_u]Pax[/name_u]/[name_u]Cal[/name_u]”, [name_m]Calvin[/name_m] [name_u]Elias[/name_u] “[name_u]Cal[/name_u]”, [name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_m]Pascal[/name_m], and [name_m]Isaac[/name_m] [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] (or whichever name you like–I’m just throwing stuff out there at this point!). It gives him a variety of options to choose from, and honestly, if you do [name_m]Calvin[/name_m], I think you could honestly still do [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] as a middle–[name_m]Calvin[/name_m] [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] doesn’t sound terrible to me. :slight_smile:

Anyhow. Congratulations on your adoption! [name_m]How[/name_m] exciting! (Also, super jealous over here! [name_m]How[/name_m] I can’t wait to be in your shoes. :))

All the best!

10

I like the idea of either keeping Pascale or using it as a mn.

The kids I know from Africa have very descriptive names. Things like Glory, Emmanuel, Abisola, Lulunga, etc. When visiting Rwanda, Tanzania, Kenya and South Africa I am always surprised how proud they are to tell me not only their names but also what they mean. I assume that its more traditional for parents to give their children names that have meaning to them. (I would probably double check this with the people who work at the orphanage from which you are adopting since this is my observation as a European/American. But…) keeping in that tradition might be cool too. You could either ask him what he wants his name to mean or suggest something like David (beloved), Ezekiel (god will strengthen), William/Liam etc (strong warrior/desired protection depending on where you look/how you translate), Oz (strength).

Also if you want to keep Pascal as a mn, I’d explain to him how Pascal is related to easter and rebirth. And how while the older kids might have teased him you think it should remain his mn so that you can honor his old life in his new - and that from now on Pascal doesn’t mean what those kids said, but instead means he is “reborn” into your family. (Might help!)

Hope that helps some or sparks some inspiration!!!

11

So many responses! Yay! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I should mention that we’ve decided on no L’s in the middle or end of his name ([name_m]Pascal[/name_m] being an exception). For most Africans (at least in my experience living there and visiting), the sound is really challenging. When he says [name_m]Pascal[/name_m], it sounds more like Pas-cowr (hard to describe, but somewhere inbetween w and r). So as much as we like [name_u]Cal[/name_u] and [name_m]Calvin[/name_m], that’s out. Also, [name_u]Pax[/name_u] is adorable, but cousin is [name_m]Preston[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] and he goes by [name_u]Pax[/name_u] half the time.

@lexiem: you are right about the meaning thing! I grew up as a Norwegian-American in [name_f]Africa[/name_f], living in the DRC, CAR, & Uganda, and my husband moved to Tanzania when he was ten and proceeded to live in Nigeria. I guess we were bound to adopt Africans, lol :slight_smile: but back to the point, yes, meaning is highly important. It is very important to my husband and I. Our first two kids have meaningful names: Zevediah means gift of God and Koa means brave, bold, and fearless. I wouldn’t dream of a meaningless name :slight_smile:

12

I don’t want to call you out but this does not sound like something a three year old would be able to express, remember, or truly understand. He must be VERY articulate at three to be able to explain this to you.

13

I see where you are coming from. If he had said all the that, I certainly would find it unbelievable. Most of what I wrote is inferred. Basically, coming from him, he kept bringing up how he wanted another name and saying things like “I want a name from YOU.” And the making fun part is completely inferred to be an element of him wanting a new name. I won’t get too much into the story, but basically I heard the older kids making fun of his name and he ran away from them, almost crying. We asked if the kids did that alot and he said yes and that it made him sad.

He is a smart boy, but certainly not smart enough to delve into the psychological aspects of why he wants a new name. :slight_smile: I think we’re on the same page now…sorry I wasn’t clear to begin with!

14

As an adoptive mom I really struggled with the add or change the first name. In the end we left the first name ( an assigned name not a birth name, but linked to her culture) and added a family middle that she goes by. Then everyone is happy ( adoption community, social worker, and potentially her.)

[name_m]Pascal[/name_m]… Whatever you choose as a middle and he can go by it. Takes a lot of pressure off.

15

I say keep it [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] and call him [name_u]Pax[/name_u] if he likes it and if he doesn’t call him by his middle name. He is only 3 years old and do you really think a 3 year old really knows thats what he wants for the rest of his life. Otherwise just find a nickname he likes for the time being until he’s older and knows better. I would encourage him that [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] or [name_u]Pax[/name_u] is a really cool name and have him see it in a positive light. I have been a toddler teacher for years and showing them the good in things really helps, even if your children can tell him how cool his name is just like their and maybe he’ll feel like he fits in just fine with names like theirs. For ex. they would all have 3 letters in their names if you went by [name_u]Pax[/name_u]!!!

Best of luck in whatever you decide! :smiley:

17

I think you should give him a new first name with a meaning you love and then keep [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] in the middle. If he ever decided he wanted to go by [name_m]Pascal[/name_m] he could. Congrats!