My partner and I are putting our house up in the next year and moving. My question is: how many bedrooms?
Right now we have 4: a large master, 2 medium sized (We rent 1 out and the nursery is the other), and 1 small (for our son).
We have 2 kids now: DS was born '08 and DD was just born in '17. We want 2-3 more kids but we’ve also tossed about the idea of adopting a 2-6yr old from [name_m]Foster[/name_m]. Should we plan on making all the kids share or make sure DS08 has his own room since he’s so much older or will that lead to resentment from younger sibs? [name_m]How[/name_m] many kids to a room is too many? [name_m]Will[/name_m] they as teens still be OK with sharing?
Not a mum but I shared a room with my little brother until I was about 9-10 and he was 8. I really enjoyed it and we grew up really close but when we separated rooms, my brother especially had a lot of nightmares and sleeping difficulties. I shared my room a lot growing up, often 4-5 kids were squashed into the same bedroom, I think a max of 3 kids in the same room under the age of 8 is fine.
As a teenager, I just need my own space, not a lot but a place I can go to where there’s minimum bothering and noise to either do homework, study or relax. I probably wouldn’t suggest sharing a room as a teenager, occasionally is fine but I shared a room with 2 others for 8 months when I was 13-14 and hated it so much, there were people in my hair all the time, I couldn’t sleep because of all the noise and didn’t have a place to do my homework. I think if it’s a must, 2 is a max for teenagers, and both need to have their own desk.
I shared a room with my little sister from the time she was 18 months (and I was 8) til I moved out at 20. It’s an odd thing, because sure it annoyed me at times - not having my own space and all - but I also am thankful that it taught us to share, be gracious, and deal with each other.
Personally, I think sharing a room is totally acceptable, and it really just comes down to the family dynamics and comfort. I know people that have children sharing rooms, but it’s divided by gender. I also have friends whose little boy and girl are close and share a room. Really is just personal choice, I think.
I’d say it depends on how big the rooms are. I had my own room as a kid until about 12 years old when my mom started doing foster care. We only had a 3 bedroom house so at times there were 2 or 3 girls in my room with me. I thought it was fun, but my mom made sure we each had our own space in the room. [name_m]Bunk[/name_m] beds easily gave us this.
That said, we bought a 5 bedroom house so that hopefully our kids don’t have to share rooms. While sharing a room has it’s benefits, so does having your own. If you’re planning on 5 or 6 kids you probably can’t give them all their own rooms and it would depend on their genders too. Preteens and up, I think, shouldn’t share with the opposite gender. If I were you I’d look for a 4+ bedroom house and make sure you’d be comfortable with 2 beds or bunk beds in the kids’ rooms.
Well, in this subject I think I can shed some light because we’ve come up with so many sleeping arrangements and room sharing combinations… I have 4 daughters and 1 stepson. My old house had just 3 bedrooms and by some sort of miracle we made it work. There was my bedroom, which was medium sized where my SO and I shared with [name_f]Eleni[/name_f] until a little over two months ago until we finally weaned her and moved her into her nursery.
[name_f]Eleni[/name_f] (age 1) is now sharing her bedroom with my stepson (8) because he’s only here every other week/weekend and during the summer vacations. He’s also a heavy sleeper, so it has never seemed to bother him if she woke up at night crying.
And then my older daughters [name_f]Noor[/name_f] (8), [name_f]Viola[/name_f] (6) and [name_f]Ziva[/name_f] (3) shared the largest room. To save space [name_f]Noor[/name_f] and [name_f]Viola[/name_f] had a bunk bed which they loved because it turned into a play house for them just with an improvised sheet curtain and [name_f]Ziva[/name_f] had her toddler bed. It saved room leaving plenty of space in the middle for them to play even though in my house the dining room table was the main play room (they liked to play under it). Maybe because she’s the older sister, but it was always a good idea to have [name_f]Noor[/name_f] in the room with [name_f]Viola[/name_f] and [name_f]Ziva[/name_f] because she’s always been patient and helpful in reconciling them both when they had their moments. You see, one little girl is a [name_m]Scorpio[/name_m] and the other is a [name_u]Gemini[/name_u], lol.
I shared a room my entire childhood until I moved out. Mostly with my sister who is 2 years younger. For a year or so, i shared with my younger brother and sister who are 8 and 10 years younger respectively. At one point, my sister and I bedshared with our younger sister. It all depends on room size and how the kids tolerate it but I generally wouldn’t do more than 3 kids or 2 teens max per room.
I shared a room growing up, and my kids share also.
It comes down to a few things: What you can afford, usages of space that are not actually bedrooms (like being able to convert space in a basement or back room into a bedroom if you need it), how your children get along, and your ability to set and keep to routines which let everything run smoothly.
When we bought, we looked for a home with space that we could convert into more sleeping space when we’d want/need it, but for the time being, my kids share. With an indefinitely growing family, I feel that you have to have a home with potential so you can take things as they come.
Your older son may be fine sharing for now, but need the space in a few years, when he’s the big guy surrounded by a bunch of littles. Depending on the genders of your children, they may need to be split up at some point sooner than you had imagined.
I think I shared briefly when I was younger but, as a mid-teen, I can say that I’d absolutely hate to share a room now with my siblings (brother who’s two years younger and sister who’s five years younger). We don’t get on well (our personalities are just too contrasting) so it wouldn’t work for us. With younger children, I’d say it would be okay for two or three to share (it may even help their relationship), but I’d advise letting teens have their own room if possible, or sharing with one other sibling. Definitely make sure they have their own space.
I’m not a mum, and I’ve never permanently shared a room, so feel free to take my opinion with a pinch of salt.
I would give your older son a room of his own from the beginning. He’s had his own room until now, it would be completely unfair to make him share with a toddler just as he is becoming a teenager.
I think it’s okay to have under 10s share rooms of up to three, but after that I’d make it no more than 2 to a room. If this will be your ‘forever home’ I’d start with planning 2 to a room.
So, if you go on to have 4 more children, and don’t foster, I’d be looking at 5 minimum - 1 for you, 1 for your elder son, 2 with two children in it, and another with 1 more child in it.
If you do decide to foster/adopt, I’d look at a minimum of 6 rooms. Certainly in my area, all foster children must have their own room, and they prefer if adopted children do too.
You might want to look into your local county rules when it comes to fostering and if the child needs a room to themselves. I have never fostered myself, but I have heard of some states/counties that have varying requirements.
Our 3 year old and 9 year old sons share. They love it. The 9 year old will get his own room in 2-3 years when the soon-to-arrive son is ready to be more permanently in his own bed. Then the middle and youngest will share. We have enough room that they will be able to split before the eldest leaves if they want. Otherwise they’ll split out into their own rooms when he leaves.
I always had to share until my older sister (who had her own room, I shared with my younger sister) moved out when I was 16. There’s 2 and a half years between me and my younger sister, I didn’t mind it, but it was annoying when we grew up because we had to have the same bedtimes and that drove preteen me insane. I am glad I have my own room now, I don’t live with either of them anymore though. We were closer growing up but we bickered a lot, being together so much in one small space made us argue about anything and everything. I don’t know if this has anything to do with it but we don’t get along as well now as me and my older sister (who had her own room) do. Ever since we had our own rooms we could give each other space and that’s what we’ve been doing for the past 5 years lol.
I would take your children’s personalities into consideration. I’m very introverted and loathed sharing a bedroom with my sister as a small child. My parents gave me my own room at age 9 because I’d taken to hiding in closets or the garage to get away from everyone.
I wouldn’t ask a child over the age of 12 to share a bedroom with a much younger sibling unless necessary. At that point you want privacy.
We have three bedrooms in the house we currently live in. My DH and I share the biggest room with Lola (1), who is still too young to sleep by herself, and my older daughters share the medium-sized bedroom. They are very close in age and get on well with each other, so they don’t mind sharing at all. Una (almost 7) and Mariam (just turned 5) have a bunk bed, which is great for a number of reasons: 1) it saves a lot of space so we were able to put a wardrobe, two desks and an armchair in the room 2) it’s every kid’s dream bed 3) it can be easily turned into a castle, which is especially great when you have two children who are obsessed with Disney.
When Lola gets older, we want to move her to the smallest bedroom. If we ever have a fourth child, she will have to share it with him/her unless we move into a bigger house.
I think they will adjust to whatever way you raise them. I am the oldest of six… I am almost seventeen and the littlest is one. I share a room with my two sisters (15 & 12) and my two brothers (9 & 3). I’ve grown up sharing a room. Having bedtime prayers, reading, and giggling/chatting in bed. I think that if you show them that it can be a great gift to have such an opportunity to share a room with their siblings, they will enjoy it too. I have days I feel like I need ‘space’ but I am so blessed to be around my siblings and pour into their lives. My parents also make sure we have areas for our things… we have a ‘bunk room’ for all the beds and then us teen girls have a room for decoration/music/clothes… whatever else. I think it is what you make it.
I think it is what you make it. You can make it a fun experience and let each person add their own taste to the room, or whatever is needed! I’m 17 and I have 5 siblings: three sisters [15, 12, 1] and two brothers [9 & 3]. I share with 4 of them. It’s a sleepover and we all have a close bond!
I don’t have kids, but I had a sibiling who was quite a bit younger (5.5 years) that we voluntarily shared rooms from time to time.
We always had our own rooms, but from the time she was a toddler she often would sleep in bed with me. I got a bunk bed because I wanted one when I was probably about 8, and she would still come into my room to sleep on the bottom bunk. Her room ended up functioning essentially as a playroom until we moved. Then we shared the “upstairs” of the house. It was situated in a way that our rooms were on either end of a hallway, and there was a shared bathroom in the middle (not quite a [name_m]Jack[/name_m] and [name_f]Jill[/name_f], but a similar idea).
It was nice as we got older, and wanted to hang out with each other (playing video games, coloring, etc.) but we had our “separate corners” to retreat to when we were getting on each others nerves. Sometimes if the summer got too hot we converted our dad’s basement office into our “third” bedroom. This went on until I was probably almost 17 and she was 11/12. But we’ve always had a close relationship, despite the age difference.
