Ryan for a Girl?

[southern.maple]

It’s okay to say “I don’t like it,” people. At this point you’re beating a dead horse with the “masculine names on girls is sexist” argument. What’s more, I’ve never seen anyone on this thread suggesting or supporting feminine names for boys in the boy’s names forum, so stop pretending that your motives in bashing [name_u]Ryan[/name_u] on a girl are rooted in your desire to be a champion of gender equality.

[tamparays8]

I really like some gender neutral / masculine names on girls, but [name_u]Ryan[/name_u] isn’t one of them. I just know too many [name_u]Ryan[/name_u]'s across all the age ranges. It’s quite popular for boys.

Unisex names I feel truly work on girls:
[name_u]Emerson[/name_u]
[name_u]Harper[/name_u]
[name_u]Avery[/name_u]
[name_u]Rowan[/name_u]
[name_u]Ellery[/name_u]
[name_u]Hadley[/name_u]
[name_u]Piper[/name_u]
[name_u]Emery[/name_u]
[name_u]Taylor[/name_u]
[name_u]Finley[/name_u]
[name_u]Lane[/name_u]
[name_u]Delaney[/name_u]
[name_u]Sloane[/name_u]
[name_u]Quinn[/name_u]
[name_u]Reese[/name_u]
[name_u]Shea[/name_u]
[name_u]Jordan[/name_u]
[name_u]Peyton[/name_u]
[name_u]Riley[/name_u]
[name_u]Sage[/name_u]
[name_u]Wynn[/name_u]
[name_u]Collins[/name_u]
[name_u]Adair[/name_u]
[name_u]Holland[/name_u]
[name_u]Bellamy[/name_u]
[name_u]Campbell[/name_u]
[name_u]Ellis[/name_u]
[name_u]Winslow[/name_u]
[name_u]Hollis[/name_u]
[name_u]Monroe[/name_u]
[name_u]Sutton[/name_u]

And I’m a big lover of unisex / masculine middle names on girls. I know it usually doesn’t get love on NB. I swoon over an [name_f]Adeline[/name_f] [name_u]James[/name_u], [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] [name_m]Bennett[/name_m], [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] [name_m]Moore[/name_m], vintage with masculine, I eat it up.

[abertawe]

Why the heck is the sexist to ask. So many preachy comments here. If you don’t like it, fine. I am not a fan myself. But do what you like. You don’t “Have” to want to name a boy [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] to consider this. Your mind-games rules don’t apply to everyone.

[samantharaye]

I think its a great name for a girl! My [name_u]Elliot[/name_u] was almost [name_u]Ryan[/name_u].

[CarysMarie]

I think its usable on a girl, though I prefer this one on a boy

[McCharlie]

@southern.maple

It’s okay to say “I don’t like it,” people. At this point you’re beating a dead horse with the “masculine names on girls is sexist” argument. What’s more, I’ve never seen anyone on this thread suggesting or supporting feminine names for boys in the boy’s names forum, so stop pretending that your motives in bashing [name_u]Ryan[/name_u] on a girl are rooted in your desire to be a champion of gender equality.

I don’t think this is for me, or at least I don’t feel concerned because I do like Atlantis, Solaris, Sage, Aspen, Wren, Avery, Jad, Juno/Juneau, Mae, Genesis, Sailor, Ariel, Cypress, Sequoia, Elia, Jasmin, Marin, Alix, Camille or Hyacinth for a boy. But you do judge people and their motivations without really knowing them. Personally, I just expressed my feelings: I really think it’s a sexist trend, that’s my opinion. It doesn’t mean I have to be okay with all girl’s names on boys.

[thishollywoodgirl]

@southern.maple

It’s okay to say “I don’t like it,” people. At this point you’re beating a dead horse with the “masculine names on girls is sexist” argument. What’s more, I’ve never seen anyone on this thread suggesting or supporting feminine names for boys in the boy’s names forum, so stop pretending that your motives in bashing [name_u]Ryan[/name_u] on a girl are rooted in your desire to be a champion of gender equality.

@abertawe

Why the heck is the sexist to ask. So many preachy comments here. If you don’t like it, fine. I am not a fan myself. But do what you like. You don’t “Have” to want to name a boy [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] to consider this. Your mind-games rules don’t apply to everyone.

I couldn’t agree with either of these statements more.

Also, I find the whole “you shouldn’t consider [name_u]Ryan[/name_u] for a girl if you wouldn’t consider [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] for a boy” comments to be nothing short of ridiculous.

[name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] is more comparable to naming a son [name_m]Frederick[/name_m] or [name_m]Edward[/name_m] or [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] - another name that is classically and stylistically the same.

[name_u]Ryan[/name_u] however is derived from a surname - which, in my opinion, have no assigned gender. [name_m]How[/name_m] can a last name have a gender? It’s shared between both male and female members of a family, typically, or at least, in Western culture, where “boys names on girls” is a current trend.

So really, naming a daughter [name_u]Ryan[/name_u] would be/should be more comparable to naming a son [name_u]Kelly[/name_u], [name_u]Addison[/name_u], etc - other surnames that are much more popular for girls.

And another point - I find it rather interesting how those of you claiming that this is sexism are blatantly judging someone’s motives when really, you have zero clue what they could be.

[Ashkez]

I was sure that my first born son would be named [name_u]Michael[/name_u] [name_u]Ryan[/name_u]. It was the name I loved, and I told my husband about it when we met. Things changed when I got pregnant, and we still don’t have a [name_u]Michael[/name_u] or a [name_u]Ryan[/name_u]. I’m saying this because I’ve always felt that [name_u]Ryan[/name_u] is masculine - the name of my future son. But I agree with you, it does seem a bit more feminine than [name_u]James[/name_u] for example, I guess it’s the sound of it.

I wouldn’t cringe if I met a female [name_u]Ryan[/name_u], but I’m still in “Team Boy”. Maybe [name_f]Ryanne[/name_f], or [name_f]Rianne[/name_f] for a girl?

[izzie]

@tfzolghadr

To be fair, I have yet to read a single comment on here that said it was sexist to ask. That would be ridiculous. Most people are saying it is sexist to use a name. That’s a completely separate issue from asking.

I don’t think you guys really get what people are trying to say. Internalized sexism is something different from straightforward sexism. The idea behind internalized anything (sexism, racism, etc.) is that you spend your entire life being socialized by television, magazines, songs, etc. This influences how you view things such as gender and race. Often, it is buried very deep down… so you can often hold opinions that you don’t even readily recognize.

The most famous experiment with this was, I believe, from the 1950s or so. Very young African-American girls were presented with 2 dolls: a black one and a white one. They were asked which one was “pretty” or “smart”. They chose the white one. When they were asked which one was “ugly” or “stupid”, they chose the black one. Most likely no one had directly told them this, but they had absorbed it from our media, which reflects our culture. That’s internalized racism.

Names are like the media, in that they reflect culture values, norms, etc. [name_m]Hence[/name_m], in [name_f]China[/name_f], women are much more likely to receive a flower name than boys. Norms and values can be renegotiated over time.

Internalized misogyny (or sexism) is similar to internalized racism. There is not “judging another’s motives”, as the “internalized” part implies that you are doing it without fully realizing it or meaning to. When children are told to “throw like a girl”, they often comically do so and barely toss the ball. We’ve received the message over time that women are weaker and less capable of playing sports. When you hear a woman say “I’m not like other girls, I don’t (list negative traits commonly associated with women)”, that’s internalized misogyny.

So when my sister tells me it’s a good thing I used a name that’s “American enough” (as opposed to Persian, from DH’s culture, that’s a reflection of the fact that she sees Persian names as inferior… internalized racism. When, in our society, we borrow masculine names onto girls but do not bestow boys with feminine names, then it is internalized misogyny.

Now, if you read my comment, I did say that motives matter. If you are never going to have another child and you really want to name a child (regardless of gender) [name_u]James[/name_u] after your dying father, then go for it. But realize that there is a misogynistic history of naming girls after their dads when they didn’t get the much-desired junior. Doesn’t mean you are being misogynistic, but you should recognize it.

If you are naming your daughter [name_u]Ryan[/name_u] because it sounds good, then you cannot pretend to be completely isolated from our culture, history, media, an for context. Why does it sound good to you? And then if you wouldn’t name your son [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], are you not showing that you value the qualities a masculine name or sound would bestow on your daughter over that which [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] would bestow on your son? Think about it… why are there plenty of masculine names on the girls side of the Top 1,000 names, but not a single feminine name on the boy’s side.

As for surnames, certainly some have gender. “[name_m]King[/name_m]” is a gendered word. “[name_m]Son[/name_m] of” appears in plenty of surnames. That is certainly gendered. Although some surnames are not gendered, some certainly are.

I am a professor and my degree is in Anthropology, so I couldn’t let this slide. If you want to come on a public forum to ask opinions, then you need to be open to those opinions within reason. No one should say intentionally insulting or offensive words. However, giving an opinion that something is racist or sexist doesn’t fall into that category. You are asking people to judge the name and give their opinions. Defensiveness is not helpful. If you disagree with other posters, please come up with a logical, well thought out response. I’d love to see a well thought out, deep rebuttal to show how internalized sexism doesn’t factor into this trend at all.

I couldn’t agree more.

[abertawe]

There were indeed comments that the question itself is sexist.
Edit: meh, I had read “this trend is sexist” as “this thread is sexist” so that detail was own my own misread while skimming.
I don’t want to get further into this topic personally. People that demand you consider Eliza and Margo on a boy if you would consider Ryan on a girl just make me laugh. Glad I haven’t felt the need to squeeze my brain into these politically correct lines of thought that are totally funny to most normal ppl.
To each their own. Name your kids whatever name you enjoy most. You don’t need to push your “gender rules” on others.
My last comment on it will be this: I doubt you consider it internalized misandry that we find a moustache unattractive on women. And if a young darker skinned child finds a darker skinned doll much more appealing than a light skinned one, that would also not bother me one bit. Little kids are drawn to the familiar. We don’t need to read too much into it.

[crystaljoy]

I went to elementary school with both a girl and a boy named [name_u]Ryan[/name_u], so I have always thought of it as a unisex name. I think it works really well on a girl. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t worry about the negative comments people may have for this name being used for a girl. The only opinion that matters here is yours and if you love the name go for it. It’s a great name that works for either gender.