Wow this entire situation is so bizzare! I mean, not only did she basically, admit or at least pay attention to the fact that she has stolen your names in almost the exact same forms, but she had the nerve to say something to your daughter about it. I say you have every right to be angry with her.
As for you not owning a name, while you dont own the name from everyone, but in a sense, you do own it from your family and close friends. Mostly because it gets entirely to confusing to have two Clementines and two [name]Belle[/name]'s/[name]Bella[/name]'s running around the same place, i mean calling out for them when they are all running around must be totally chaotic. So in my opinion, to an extent, you do in fact own the names, maybe not the middles, but surly the first names and certaintly any right to combo’s of the names that sound so similar!
The only situation i can think of, where this would be close to exceptable, would be if she did not know you at all or very well, and didnt really know fo your childrens names, and wasnt close with the family, and it was a giant coincidance. However, it appears as though she is blatlently and knowingly and seemingly proudly stealing your names! I have a hard time understanding why anyone would want to use the names of someone so close in family. I mean when i am looking for names for name combos, i wont use any of my cousins or any of the great grandchildren and great grandchildrens first names as first names because at one point in time, even though it wouldnt be often at all, they will be around each other, and i can picture th elook on my granny and grandaddys faces when they look at the birth announcment and say, isn’t this [name]Becky[/name]'s daughters name? Or [name]Kimberlee[/name]'s sons name? And i dont think its really fair to do that.
Besides that fact that it is totally unfair to you, and you must be a siant to have not said anything because though i am typically non confrantaional person(much like [name]Lyndsay[/name], i am some what over the internet but not hardly in person), i would deffinatly had said something when they announced [name]Clementine[/name], because there is not really a viable chance that it wasnt taken off of your daughter’s name. But anywho, besides beign unfair to you, it’s truly unfair to the girls. They will probably either think it is cool when they are younger or totally hate it, but i cant imagine after a certain age that they will like constantly being confused with so-and-so’s [name]Clementine[/name], vs you and your husbands [name]Clementine[/name].
I will say i think the best thing to do would be to say soething in the calmest way possible. Which may be hard because if she is like your explaining, i imagine her being highly confrantational and very melodramatic. But i think it would be good to start out saying soemthing about how your flattered that she seems liek your taste in names, but that you think having two children with such similar names may cause confusion and problems with children as they grow older and that you are willing to try and help her to come up a new name. Or you could straight out ask her why she chose the name [name]Isabella[/name], just to see what her reasoning is, and then decide from there, because if its after her dead mother (which i doubt but you get the point), you would feel pretty lame making a fuss. Then you could evaluate and give her a baby name book or something to that affect or maybe even make a list for her.
However from what i get from her, she doesnt sound like a very plesant person to deal with, if all of her family relationships are depleated and she angers alot of family then she may just be very defensive and angry that you are questioning her name, i am thinking something dramatic like “how dare you question the name of my child its not your child to name” kind of situation. So th best thing to do would be to evaluate the situation as it goes and see what happens.
It’s terrible that you are in this situation in the first place, however i do hope that you can resole it and maybe patch things up with you S-I-L Good [name]Luck[/name]!