I have a few names that I really like, but I’ve ruled out because they are the names of relatives, and not relatives I want to name a child after.
The baby would not have the same surname as any of these relatives, and they are not immediate relatives (think more along the line of cousins and second cousins) but the extended family is fairly small - not like there’s fifteen cousins on either side, each with kids of their own and whatever. Also, said relatives are not exceptionally close and are all adults (20-40) and the names are pretty well-known - not top 10 common but nothing obscure/unique either.
Could I do it? Could I do it, but only as a middle? Or should I just forget about these names completely?
doesnt sound like you are close with these people but that they are in your life enough that itd just be an extra [name_m]John[/name_m] or [name_f]Mary[/name_f] or whatever name you want to use hanging around.
think you can find something better and not have to deal with this problem.
I understand what you’re saying. I have the same name as my great grandmother, but I’m not named after her (she was not a nice woman, apparently). I was named after my aunt who has a similar name to my great grandmother, whom she was named after. This never bothered me growing up. I think if its a name you really love, you should use it, especially if you aren’t close to the relative. I never met my aunt or my great grandmother, so it didn’t bother me that I had the same name as them. Unless you think of this person every time you hear the name, I would use it. I used to really the name [name_m]Adam[/name_m] for a boy, then I realized I had a cousin with the name, whom I’m not close with. At first it put me off the name, but then I realized it didn’t matter since I hadn’t seen him in at least ten years.
[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t let not-close family members ruin/take your favorite names.
I think it depends on the name. If it is a name that is fairly common then I say it’s totally fine as a first name, and especially in the middle name slot. For example, my middle name is [name_f]Anastasia[/name_f]. My first cousin has a daughter, he and his wife named her [name_f]Anastasia[/name_f]. I do not see it as weird at all, but I guess it would depend on your family.
This definitely can work. My extended family is quite large, but we manage to keep seven Jims, two Marks, multiple [name_f]Mary[/name_f]-related names, two [name_m]Lukes[/name_m], two Andrews, two Peters, two Annes, two Meghans, two Michaels, and two Emmas straight, so depending on how common the name is, you might be able to get away with it. You could always run it by the person or one of your parents for some extra perspective if you’re really worried about it.
Thing is, I’m not sure how close we’re going to be in the future - I don’t know the last time I’ve seen or spoken to any of them as we all live in different parts of the country, it’s more just cards at [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] and birthdays, that sort of thing. And the names are fairly common, sort of the same popularity as Hardertobreathe’s example of [name_m]Adam[/name_m], nothing really unique like Augustinus or whatever.
I think it would be fine to use them regardless of relatives, but if it still seems to make you a bit wary, then using it in the middle makes it even less of a problem. I for one never include our middle names on [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] cards. =]
I think it all totally depends! [name_f]Do[/name_f] you only see them once or twice a year, and is it a name like [name_f]Hannah[/name_f], which is in the top 50? Then I think it’s totally usable! I have the name [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] on my tops list, and I have a cousin named [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] “[name_f]Sophie[/name_f]”. The way I justify it is that a) it’s common, b) I only see her once a year at the very most and c) once I have kids, I will be seeing her less. There are so many different factors. Maybe talk to the people whose name you want to use and be like “Hey, I think your name is awesome, the hubby and I really love it, would it be weird for you if I named my kid (Insert name here)”
Depends on your relationship and how often you see them. Personally, I’ve ruled out any names of immediate extended family members (siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins or cousins’ children) from my lists. This list includes several names I love ([name_f]Emma[/name_f], [name_u]June[/name_u], [name_m]Benjamin[/name_m], [name_u]James[/name_u], [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_m]Angus[/name_m], [name_f]Elsa[/name_f], [name_f]Anna[/name_f], [name_m]Joseph[/name_m], [name_f]Louisa[/name_f] and [name_f]Beatrice[/name_f]). However, I’d consider any of these names as a middle. For example, my husband’s uncle is named [name_m]Joseph[/name_m]. We both love this name, but won’t choose it because it would be like naming our child after him and we certainly don’t want to do that!
However I would also make the association that it was in honor of the relative as it is usally the reason people in a family repeat names.
Maybe go for a back up name.
I’m leaning towards using them as middle names anyway, and if anyone asks if they’re honouring said relative, I’ll just say no, we just liked the name. Like a PP said, middles aren’t even used by family most of the time - the only non-immediate relatives I know the middles of are those that are young and I remember from the birth announcement, and even then it’s probably my own name-nerdiness that makes me remember the middles.
If I wanted to honour the person I would have no qualms about using the name, however there are only a few, very close relatives that I would want to honour and I don’t want to pretend to honour someone that I’m not massively close to/have no reason to honour just because I love their name. Conversely, I’m not going to use names I don’t like to honour someone that I want to either.
We have run into this too a bit - I really like the name [name_f]Ruth[/name_f], but dh’s aunt is named [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] and while she’s nice, I wouldn’t want to name a child after her in particular (less to do with her and more about not being “fair” to other aunts and such).
I’m torn on the subject, as well. I don’t think I’d use a name up front. For example, my cousin’s name is [name_m]Joshua[/name_m]. I [name_f]ADORE[/name_f] the name, but he’s only my cousin, so he’s not really someone I want to honor. We’ve never been exceptionally close or anything. On top of that, he treated me in a way that… let’s just say, if I used [name_m]Joshua[/name_m], it definitely wouldn’t be in honor of him. I don’t hate him; I don’t even hold it against him. I just know that other people know what he did, and I don’t want them thinking I was honoring his behavior. Then again, I am a [name_m]Christian[/name_m], and I [name_f]LOVE[/name_f] the story of [name_m]Joshua[/name_m] in the Bible, and I love that the Greek name that we translate as [name_m]Jesus[/name_m] eventually came about from the Hebrew name we call [name_m]Joshua[/name_m]. I like that it is a roundabout way to honor my faith, and my God. So if ever do get to use my beloved [name_u]Everett[/name_u] [name_m]Joshua[/name_m] [name_m]Charles[/name_m]… I probably would have to explain. My mom probably wouldn’t think anything of it. She’s under the impression that my sister and I could both have Olivias and it wouldn’t matter (I think that’s pushing it, haha!). But those outside of my family probably wouldn’t know any different. Although, I’m not sure I could convince an SO to go for it, if he knew what my cousin did, haha. But still, I’d love to use [name_m]Joshua[/name_m] one day.
Why not? My aunt named her oldest daughter [name_f]Mary[/name_f]. She was always called [name_f]Mary[/name_f]. [name_f]One[/name_f] of her brothers had a daughter six months later named [name_f]Frances[/name_f] (called [name_f]Franny[/name_f]). Another brother had a daughter 10 years later and named her [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_u]Fran[/name_u]. No one assumed that she was named after either of her cousins.
Depends on their personality. I have relatives who would boast and brag that my child is named after them no matter how much you tell them otherwise. Those names are absolutely out because they’d constantly throw it in others faces
But I have names on my list that belong to some 1st cousins. They are not the type to get an inflated ego over it. However some of the boastful relatives may be offended but that’s their problem.
I think it’s fine in the middle and for a first name possibly speak to them first casually. Mention that you think they have a really beautiful name and see how they react. We may end up naming a child after one of my first cousins. I have 14 of them and they have a lot of traditional names that I really do like on their own as names. [name_f]One[/name_f] name in particular is [name_f]Sarah[/name_f], which is also my Great-Aunt’s name who helped my father go to college and I know would it would mean a lot to my dad if we honored her plus it’s like the only girl’s name my husband seems to really love. My cousin [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] is an awesome person so I wouldn’t have a problem with my child sharing a name with her. But I wouldn’t necessarily do it to honor her just because I’m not super close to her and like I said I have a lot of cousins. On the other hand there are relatives who although I like their names they are simply out like alcoholics and such who we wouldn’t want our child associate with in any way. I would steer clear of those names no matter how much I loved the name.