Sharing the name before the birth?

I have some mom friends that have told me not to share the name we have chosen with anyone before they are born. They have told me that the opinions of others have sometimes been negative or harsh and family members have urged them to reconsider even though they loved the name they chose. What do you think?

Completely up to you, I think. I personally wouldn’t share our chosen name prior to baby arriving but, then again, it wouldn’t bother me if my child shared a name with another child we knew.

If you know someone who is pregnant and are concerned that they might also use the name, it wouldn’t hurt to make it known prior to both babies being born that you have chosen a particular name.

I agree, it’s your call. I don’t see a problem in sharing the name choice though. If you’re 100% confident in the name you have picked out, why hide it? Nobody wants to hear negative things about the name they love, but it’s your baby. Therefore, only yours and your partner’s input should go into the naming process unless you specifically ask for other people’s suggestions. On the positive side, your friends and family might love the name you have picked out just as much as you do.

It is completely your call. You need to know your family and friend circle enough to know if they will be supportive of the name or critical of it. I personally did share DD’s name before she was born, but I made it very clear (especially to my very opinionated sisters!) that we were decided and didn’t need feedback. I agree that if you are confident in the name choice, it shouldn’t matter what others around you think because at the end of the day, it is your baby, and names are very subjective. If the name feels right to you and your spouse, then other opinions are irrelevant.

My mom said the same thing. My dad’s family’s opinions on the name my parents had wanted for my oldest sister were very negative, and it convinced my mom to change it. But I have a strong opinion on the names I love, so when the time comes and I eventually have children of my own, I’ll probably share the chosen names beforehand and don’t care at all what people think of the names. They’ll be firmly decided at that point. If anyone tells me that they don’t like the name I choose, I’ll tell them “Good thing it’s not your child, then.”

Ultimately, it’s down to you. If you think that negative feedback from friends and family will influence you to back down from a favorite name, then keep your choices secret. If you don’t give a crap what people think of the name you choose and intend to use it regardless, then feel free to share it beforehand.

My husband and I both come from very outspoken and brutally honest comments. I heard their negative reactions to my nephew’s names and grew very concerned.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, We let them know upfront that we were not sharing the name and the reason why. We did ask, however, what types of names they liked and did not like. Though it had no influence, we announced the name hours after my daughter was born. We are doing the same for #2 due in [name_u]March[/name_u]. I think both feel kind of guilty, but are still dropping the subtle hints:)

I think forums like this are the best. Complete strangers knwoing your criteria and neutrally reacting:)

I wouldn’t share the name. I know too many parents who shared before the birth and got talked out of names they loved.

I wouldn’t share the name just because I would love for it to be a surprise and I don’t think I’d care enough about family/friend opinions on a name I love. Plus, I doubt I’d have a name chosen before I met the baby.

It’s your choice, definitely. But, it also depends on what your family is like with names and how your opinion matters to you. My mom is into names, just like me, and we have some differences and even though, she is really supportive and told me plenty of times that if I use a name, she’ll love it. I hesitate about using it, because I would love my mom’s approval. So, it is really up to you and how sensitive you are to your family’s opinions.

I know this thread is a bit older now, but thought I’d add my input. We aren’t planning on sharing any of the names before birth. Some people do and that’s fine, but I have a few reasons for why we are doing it differently.

  1. Our families are awful and nosey, plus would not hesitate to ream us about our choices/force their opinions down our throats

  2. We are pretty private people and feel that something as important as naming should be reserved for ourselves, not family or friends

  3. We already anticipate having a hard time choosing which names we will actually use. I wouldn’t want to announce a name, then realize we liked a different name more. It’d just be confusing an awkward

We’re opposite of most people here it seems and have actually already told some of our family the names we’ve chosen for our little one! We live in the South though and personalized/monogrammed clothing is very popular (and I love it!), so we’re sharing so our family & friends will know what to get personalized on the outfit!

It’s totally up to you, but personally, I wouldn’t and don’t plan on doing so at this point. Especially if you’re not making your baby’s name a “communal decision,” I don’t see much point in letting anyone know the name beforehand or even bouncing any ideas off anybody you know. If you aren’t accepting any input, why cause a possible negative situation? Also, not divulging is a good way to avoid negative remarks and input altogether. Since one can never have completely positive feedback on such a personal thing, it’s something I have always thought is best. Everyone in life seems to have their two cents when it comes to every choice mothers make nowadays. If you choose to not reveal beforehand, when the baby is born, everyone will just have to pretend they like it, even if they don’t! :wink:

Completely up to you and it would all depend what you are comfortable with. If you do chose to share with people just be prepared that you will hear some opinions of the name that may not be nice. Personally I didn’t share. When people asked we told them we’re still working on it, or I told them a few options of what we liked. Family I told absolutely nothing. When the baby arrived people didn’t even care about the name we chose because they were all about the baby. Also, for me, it was nice to feel like my daughters name was truly something me and my husband loved and wasn’t skewed by opinions.

We chose to share the names with parents only at first, close friends and family were towards the end and everyone else was when we made the announcement on fb. Some will throw their unwanted two cents in or wrinkle their noses. As long as you are confident and in love with the name, share it when and with who you wish.