She said what....

My husband and I had decided that we liked the name [name]Eli[/name] for my son. My mom who always has to have her way said [name]Eli[/name] reminded her of Cheesecake and she began calling the baby Cheesecake before he was born. My mom always has to give her opinion on baby names. She tried to name my daughter [name]Holly[/name] [name]Elisabeth[/name] four years ago. However, my husband vetoed that and said we are not going to call her [name]Holly[/name]. This time my mom was smarter in her manipulation. She kept telling me all the names she did not like or could not use because of family situations (crisises) and she would make fun of the names my husband and I liked in order to get us to name the baby what she wanted and planned. We ended up naming the baby [name]Matthew[/name] [name]Curtis[/name]. I wanted to use the name [name]Curtis[/name] as his middle name since it is my husbands first name. Tradition goes back 5 generations in our family has been to use the father first name as the baby’s middle name.

So, I was not sure what to name this baby. I think I was still in shock and denial that we were having a son. I had wanted, hoped and prayed this baby would be a little girl. (not sure why) Had it been a girl I had the name already picked out [name]Julianna[/name] [name]Claire[/name]. I should have put baby boy on the birth certificate. This would have given us options to name the baby within that first year of his birth. I believe there is up to a year in order to change the name of the baby without having to go to court for a name change. I was in the hospital for 20 days before the baby was born. The umbilical cord had been wrapped around his neck three times and I was scared I was going to lose him. Needless to say during this time it was traumatizing. Not knowing if I moved a certain way or did something if my baby would die. This is when my mom was like why don’t you use a biblical name. Everyone in our family has biblical names. [name]Matthew[/name] is fine for a middle name. However, I do not like it as a first name. I hate the nickname [name]Matt[/name]. Then I tell myself that I should have been strong enough to say no and name our baby what we wanted. I just feel like my mom named our son when it should have been [name]Curt[/name] (my husband) and me naming our son. When I told my mom I was regretting naming him [name]Matthew[/name] and it just did not seem to fit him she said well if I die please keep it [name]Matthew[/name].

Still stuck in the same place of not knowing what to name this baby. I am trying to think of a baby boys name that will go with my daughter [name]Elisabeth[/name]. Going back to the drawing board on this one and hoping and praying my husband will support me in this decision. Now the issues becomes how do I get my husband to change the baby’s name to something we like without my mom looking like the bad guy and placing this blame on her. She has been with me since [name]October[/name] 12 and has helped and done so much for me. It is not fair to make her look like the enemy. I do not want to create any more division in the family.

Anyone have any suggestions or advice. Also if anyone has a baby name that would go nicely with [name]Elisabeth[/name] I need some suggestions. Thanks,

It sounds like you have a lot of emotions running through your head, but you have a beautiful boy, whom you, your hubby and mom are all in love with, so I want to congratulate you on your blessings! Please don’t blame yourself about not standing up to your mom when you were recovering from a traumatic labor -crikey, what an amazing, strong mama you are!

[name]Elisabeth[/name] is a beautiful, classic name, and I think any classic boys name will go with it. I would hesitate to use [name]Eli[/name] since some might think it’s a nn for [name]Elisabeth[/name]. Classic names I like include [name]William[/name], [name]Oliver[/name], [name]James[/name], [name]Joseph[/name] etc. If you prefer more biblical names like [name]Eli[/name], [name]Asa[/name], [name]Benjamin[/name], [name]Nathaniel[/name], & [name]Samuel[/name] come to mind. Nickname proof names (you mentioned you don’t like “[name]Matt[/name]”) within these categories include [name]Henry[/name], [name]Owen[/name], [name]Isaac[/name], and [name]Levi[/name].

What do you call baby [name]Matthew[/name] now? Maybe you can find a name based on some nickname you have for him? Or, if you like [name]Matthew[/name], and are just worried about “[name]Matt[/name]” what about creating a new nickname for him, using his initials MC - such as [name]Mac[/name] or [name]Mick[/name]?

You describe your mom as somewhat manipulative. If she is only this way with baby names, it might be easier to just accept it for the sake of family harmony ([name]Matthew[/name] is, after all, a perfectly nice name). But I imagine if she is like this with baby names, there are other aspects of your life that she tries to control. In that case, while it will be very difficult to stand up to her, it also seems like something you need to do, or else she will just keep on manipulating you in the future. Once you have decided on a name, just calmly inform her that you are changing the name, that it is your baby, and, that, as the parents, this is your privilege. She may scream and yell and you may feel terrible, but your mom loves the baby - she will get over the name.

I wish you the best of luck

It’s your baby and you should love the name, but I did want to mention that I know two [name]Matthew[/name]'s that have always gone by their full names and not [name]Matt[/name].

I think [name]Elisabeth[/name] and [name]Elijah[/name] nn [name]Eli[/name] is great.

Good luck!