I have a special place in my heart for family names. I would love to name my sons [name_m]William[/name_m] [name_u]Francis[/name_u] (after my maternal grandparents, [name_m]William[/name_m] and [name_f]Frances[/name_f]), and [name_m]Anthony[/name_m] [name_m]Eugene[/name_m] (after my paternal grandparents, [name_m]Eugene[/name_m] and [name_f]Antoinette[/name_f]), but I am concerned that their father’s family would be insulted. Should I just act like they aren’t going to be named after my family members, or should I suggest other names?
If they receive their father’s last name, they are technically already receiving a name from his side. It doesn’t honor a particular person on his side, but instead the whole side of the family.
Unfortunately, not a lot of people see it that way. However, you only mention using honor names for sons. Have you thought at all about honoring some of the women in his family by naming daughters after them? Especially given that many of them may have given up their original last names to take the family name, it might be more meaningful, for the family and for you, than naming after some of the men.
I think they are definitely usable. What about using double middle names for example if [name_u]James[/name_u] is a family name on your partners side you could use [name_m]William[/name_m] [name_u]James[/name_u] [name_u]Francis[/name_u] or [name_m]Anthony[/name_m] [name_u]James[/name_u] [name_m]Eugene[/name_m]?
I wholeheartedly second raftergears’ post.
That is such a great idea, thank you!
i would ask their father his opinion, if he doesn’t care that names from his side are used then don’t worry about it, you can’t please everyone with your choices, and yours and his opinion are the most important. raftergears does point out something interesting i’ve never considered before either. We’re expecting our first and are still in the first trimester, the only thing we know for certain is if it’s a boy the middle name will be [name_m]Paul[/name_m] as it’s my husband and his fathers middles names.
There is also more than one way to go about this. For example, I’m not expecting, but my husband and I have agreed to give his initials to our first, regardless of gender. His father and grandfather with [name_m]Jr[/name_m]. and Sr. and he received the same initials (and middle) as them.
By doing this, it allows us to carry on a family tradition from his side (and honor him and his late father) but gives me the freedom to use family names from my side. His middle name is [name_m]Richard[/name_m]. My mother’s middle is [name_f]Rose[/name_f] (a family name beyond that) and my uncle and grandfather were both [name_m]Robert[/name_m].
But this approach won’t work for everyone. I also have several variations on family names from both my side and his that I like, and a few maiden names from my side that could easily work as firsts or middles. The two most important things to me with honor names are that I’m honoring someone who was important to my family in some way, and that I actually like the name.