I just found out I am pregnant with my third. This will be my husband’s fifth. Before we found out, we had asked his oldest their thoughts on names if we had another child.
My stepdaughter said she wanted a sibling with an A name. She says she felt left out. My girls both start with C, which was incidental. Her brother starts with N and her other half-sister starts with M. I asked if the fact my name starts with an A helped and she said no. Our top choices for girl named are [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] and [name_f]Scarlett[/name_f]. [name_f]IMO[/name_f], [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] fits best with my girls ([name_f]Cadence[/name_f] and [name_f]Clarissa[/name_f]). If we had a boy, I am set on [name_u]Noah[/name_u], regardless. I won’t even allow my husband a say because he technically got his [name_f]Claire[/name_f]. We don’t want my stepdaughter to feel excluded but do we give up our “perfect” name?
I would strike Cordelia off the list since your stepdaughter has already admitted that she feels left out because she doesn’t share an initial with any of her siblings like your daughters do. It would be one thing if she hadn’t said anything or said it didn’t matter, but obviously it does bother her quite a bit, so it doesn’t seem like a good idea. I don’t think you need to give into her request for an “A” name, though, if there are no “A” names you love. Scarlett is a great fit with modern Cadence and frilly Clarissa, and your step-daughter may not feel as excluded if only two of her half-sisters share an initial and two of them don’t.
If you have a boy, it seems like you’re set on Noah no matter what, so maybe your stepdaughter would be satisfied if you just gave him a “A” middle name? Or maybe try to match their middle initials?
I guess it depends on your step-daughters age & how important it is too her.
I personally wouldn’t give up a name I love however I’d be willing to compromise & either give the baby a middle name starting with ‘A’, let your step-daughter pick the middle name or come up with a NN that starts with ‘A’ for a name you love.
Well, I wouldn’t have asked her if her thoughts weren’t ultimately going to have ANY impact. I would either ask her to help pick from the names you have already selected, give her a say on the middle name, or come up with a third option that might fit well and work well with her name? [name_f]Adela[/name_f], [name_f]Adelia[/name_f], [name_f]Adeline[/name_f]?
I’m not sure I would choose another C actually giving you 3 C’s in a (blended) family of 5 kids. As much as I adore [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f].
We didn’t expect it to be a concern for her when we asked. We gave her the two names we had and she stated that she wanted a sibling with an A name. I love the name [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f], I don’t want her to feel alienated or anything.
If you pick another name with a beginning C, she [name_m]WILL[/name_m] feel alienated. Your daughters will all have that initial connection and she won’t. You already know it is a concern for her so going ahead says “you let us know this was a problem for you and we didn’t care enough to take into account your feelings.”
I also don’t understand why your husband has no say in his child’s name. Both parents should have an equal say.
Of course, it is your child to name so you can go ahead and use [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f]. But you can’t do that and have a stepdaughter that doesn’t resent you for it.
I meant he had no say in changing my mind about [name_u]Noah[/name_u]. I’ve loved that name for years and years and I don’t plan on giving it up.
The C names weren’t intentionally planned. We liked my oldest name after we found out she was a girl. My husband always wanted the name [name_f]Claire[/name_f] and we compromised with that. [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] just happens to work with the names. All the kids names but it, unfortunately, causes a distinction. It’s hard to give up the name because I do love it and I don’t want to upset my stepdaughter. If we weren’t taking into account her feelings, I wouldn’t be asking how to approach this.
I think that if you name her [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] you will upset your stepdaughter, because all your girls would have a name starting with a C. I don’t know the kind of relationship you have with her, but you obviously want to take her feelings into consideration and that’s why you are asking. I’m all in for the mother having the last word about the kids names but I think this is a sweet request by your stepdaughter. She is asking to have something with her new sister (if she is a girl) to link them and I think that shows that she cares about the baby.
I think you have two options: use a first A name you like, o not using a A name at all. You can always use a A name as a first name and [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] or [name_f]Scarlett[/name_f] as a middle. You could always call your daughter by her middle name if you prefer it.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you have any A names that you like? You could make a little list and show it to her and let her pick (to make her feel involved), or you could choose it yourself (and your husband) and “surprise” her. I think not using a A name could upset her, especially if it’s [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] (even if it would be unintencional). Good luck!
I actually would feel less obligated to use an A name to appease her, than to just not use a C name, which excludes her from the theme. [name_f]Scarlett[/name_f] might be a better choice in that sense. So hard though if you have your heart set on [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f]. Sorry I didn’t mean to sound harsh before about not asking for her input if it wouldn’t count. [name_m]Just[/name_m] sad to think of a child feeling left out, especially by her parents. But maybe it’s not that bad and you can just tell her that initials have nothing to do with how much they are loved and a part of the family, but that [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] is a name you adore for this reason or that. Maybe you can bring her on board.
I do have a few A names that I like. [name_f]Adalyn[/name_f] is one that I like but my husband does not. Unfortunately, we cannot use [name_f]Scarlett[/name_f] as a middle name with an A first name. Her initials would be quite unfortunate. But, we do agree on [name_f]Scarlett[/name_f], so that might help.
Thank you for the advice. I was really caught off guard because I didn’t think she has those thoughts. I might ultimately not go with an A name but I will try to avoid using another C. I don’t want her to feel alienated at all because I know, in some sense, she does.
It’s all good. We had asked for input but for some pretty crazy answers like [name_f]Princess[/name_f] [name_f]Peach[/name_f] and such. When we offered our choices, that was when she mentioned about the A name.
My five years old suggested [name_f]Lily[/name_f] as a name. We actually had [name_f]Lily[/name_f] [name_u]Eden[/name_u] for her sister. It’s funny that one of the younger kids offered a more sensible name. Lol
[name_m]How[/name_m] about [name_f]Ardelia[/name_f], [name_f]Amelia[/name_f], or [name_f]Aurelia[/name_f]? They have similar sounds to [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f], and begin with A.
