Okay, first of all, I do not have my husband’s last name. [name]Rowan[/name] has his last name. I’m starting to get frustrated that so many of my name choices don’t fit with his surname. I’m not going to straight up say it, but I’ll let you guess (Starts with [name]Em[/name]-, ends in -son ;)) It completely takes away the ability to use names like [name]Emrys[/name], [name]Dawson[/name], and [name]Amory[/name]. So, I guess my question is, would it be weird to give the next child my surname? Would siblings having different last names be totally wrong? Your thoughts?
I think it’d be really odd to give [name]Rowan[/name]'s brother or sister a different surname just because [name]Emrys[/name], [name]Dawson[/name], and [name]Amory[/name] don’t sound good with your husband and [name]Rowan[/name]‘s surname. My aunt has a daughter and a set of twin boys; the girl has her father’s surname and the boys have my aunt’s surname. It’s just generally annoying because people assume it’s because they have different fathers. (My aunt was just mad at the kids’ dad when the boys were born. There’s not an actual reason for it.) When people ask why [name]Rowan[/name] and #2 have different last names, would you feel weird explaining it’s because the first name didn’t sound good with Em__son?
[name]How[/name] do you feel about hyphenating?
I don’t think it would be an issue at all if it didn’t bother you or your family. Your kids will probably get asked if (or have it assumed that) they are half siblings or step-siblings, but I doubt it would cause any real problems. Especially in this day and age where there are a lot of blended families and plenty of kids have mom’s surname, or mom doesn’t share the same surname, etc.
Different names, hyphens, whatever works for your family!
If it’s ok with you and your husband go for it! I grew up with my older brother (half brother technically) having my mom’s maiden name while my sister and I have our dad’s name and we never questioned it or had any issues. People would sometimes assume one of us had the other’s last name or not realize that we were related but once you tell them once everyone just lets it go.
I wouldn’t. If your older child has the same surname as your husband and your second child has your surname, what people will assume is that your first child is your husband’s child from a previous relationship and that your second child is your child from a previous relationship (or that you have two baby daddies). I’ve worked in schools for several years and whenever I’ve run across siblings with different surnames, they’ve always been step or half siblings, never full.
People may make some assumptions, but who really cares? I think it would be a little strange if you had taken your husband’s name, but this almost seems like a way to honor your decision.
I think it’s okay if it’s the right choice for your family. Personally, I wouldn’t want my children to have different surnames. I’m married, but haven’t taken my husband’s name. We’ve decided our children will have his surname (no hyphens or anything). However, I think it’s a fine choice if you and your husband are both happy with the idea! I don’t think the assumption that others will think your children aren’t full siblings really matters. Sometimes people assume my husband and I aren’t married, but that doesn’t make us any less married.
I think that it depends on if you care whether or not people assume your children are half-siblings or not. Because I think nearly everyone would. But I think if you don’t care its nice to honor both sides of the family by mixing up the last names.
The nice thing is that when they go to school teachers and such won’t have any automatic assumptions about one based on the other. Especially if they have really different strengths.
I’m going to do it with this child I’m pregnant with if it’s a girl, just because his last name sounds bad with the only girl contender and mine sounds lovely. Like others said, some people may make assumptions, but it probably won’t have much impact on your everyday life. Your child most likely won’t care as long as you raise them to be proud of their name, from my experience. I only share a last name with one of my five siblings and no one ever cared. So I say if your husband’s on board, do it.
I think if you’re only doing because you can’t think of any other names you like that work with that surname, it is a little weird. I’m an only child, but I wouldn’t want to have a different surname from my full sibling unless it was for some other, more rational reason. [name]Just[/name] my thoughts.
I guess it would be a little weird. My husband isn’t too keen on it anyway, I asked him today and he said “[name]Do[/name] I get to pick the first name then?” I immediately said NO. I think he was kind of joking anyway, he hates making decisions. His surname is more romantic and definitely more recognizable than mine too.
I know two families who have children with different surnames. The first one is because the mum wasn’t married when she had her first so he go her maiden name but when she had her second she was married so the baby got her married name. [name]Both[/name] children had the same mother and father. The other family is my friend’s. Her parents split up when she was young. Her and her sister had the same last name but her sister decided to change it to her mums maiden name whereas my friend wanted to keep her fathers last name. I have always thought about it, only because if me or my sisters don’t have a son with our last name, our family name will have ended as we are the last one to bear the name. We have no first cousins with the same last name. I hope one of my sisters give their children our last name because I really don’t like it and don’t really want my children to have it.
Maybe you can all take your surname? That way there’s continuity and you get the surname you think sounds best.
Whatever works, go for it! The name of the writer is escaping me right now, but there is one who did this, her DD got husbands last name and her DS her last name (since she was the only female, she wanted to carry on her family name I think the way the story went) and it worked for them. People get used to it, sure its not “what people usually do” but every family is unique in naming.
I’m inclined to attach surnames to identity more than first names. Personally, I would want to take my husbands last name (no hyphens) and give it to my children. Your first name is your personal identity, it’s how you identify yourself to others and are known as an individual. Your last name is how you identify with your family, it’s the paper representation of a physical and emotional connection, just as your first name is the paper representation of the physical you.
Giving one child your last name from the same father for no reason other than naming options is a bit extreme. I’m sure you love plenty of other names just as much, if not more. [name]Don[/name]'t unnecessarily complicate your child’s life for something as silly as ‘flow.’
My boys have their father’s surname and my partner’s daughter has my partner’s surname. This baby will also take my partner’s surname, and so will any subsequent children. The boys are aware of this and have said they don’t care that the baby won’t have the same name as them. All the full siblings in our family share/will share a surname ([name]Luke[/name] and [name]Elliot[/name] have one, plus this baby and any others we have will have another) and I wouldn’t want it any other way. [name]Libby[/name]'s the odd one out as she has her dad’s surname but has no full siblings and will only be a half sibling to this baby but will share a surname.
We’re doing this. My daughter has my partner’s last name and this baby is getting mine. We’re not legally married but that’s due to personal beliefs about marriage. We’re actually planning on changing all of our surnames to a name we’ve had picked out for over a year, just haven’t been able to do it yet, so in the mean time we’re just going back and forth on the kids’ names. I don’t think it matters too much what other people may or may not assume, just whatever works for each individual family!
Yes, I think it would be very weird. I think it might make the children feel differently about their relationships with both of you. I really can’t understand doing this just because you like fns that don’t go well with his ln. And if I were the child I would resent having to always explain my family relationships just because of esthetics. I prefer my maiden name to my dh’s name but I would never contemplate choosing to give one name to one child and one to another. A name is more than just a name imo, it is a connection to your family and I think doing this would give them different connections that really could be problematic.
Being from a complicated family, having half-siblings with both a different mother and a different father than me, I think it’s fine if you feel that is what will fit best with your family.