Hello all!
So there’s this name, [name_m]Anders[/name_m], that I heard in a book series ages ago and liked, not knowing it was even a “real” name. As time went by, I forgot about it. I came across it again the other day and liked it again. Surprisingly, so did my husband and my mom (it’s important to me she like my names…don’t know why. Whatever). So, great! Consensus. Cool. But then I remember that my best friend’s favorite boy name is [name_m]Andrew[/name_m].
She is absolutely the type to worry about taboos like naming kids the same name as family or friends and she thinks they’re too close. I don’t have a problem with it since they aren’t the same name. And for the record, would not have a problem with it if the situation were reversed and she was asking me about a name she liked similar to my favorite name. She told me to use it if we really like it, but I’m still torn. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t want to hurt her feelings or foster future resentment and all.
So what do you think, Fellow Berries? Would you be offended/hurt if your best friend chose a name similar to one of yours? Or do you think it’s no big deal?
A few side notes for my particular situation:
- The middle names we like both start with R, but sound nothing alike ([name_m]Robert[/name_m] and [name_u]Reid[/name_u])
- Her husband doesn’t like the name [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] and it would take a lot of convincing to get him to be ok with it
- [name_m]Anders[/name_m] is, apparently, the Swedish form of [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] (And I really dislike [name_m]Andrew[/name_m], but like [name_m]Anders[/name_m]…go figure)
I have cousins named [name_f]Laura[/name_f] and [name_f]Lauren[/name_f], and I’m sure their moms never consulted eachother on their names. I think that if you love [name_m]Anders[/name_m] you should go for it. I really like [name_m]Anders[/name_m] [name_u]Reid[/name_u]!
The [name_m]Anders[/name_m] I know pronounces it ON-ders (rhymes with wanders), and that’s pretty different-sounding from [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] to me.
No. It wouldn’t bother me if my best friend picked the same name as me even. Names are open to anyone and if someone did the entire name the same I’d be a little weirded out, but matching first name? No big deal.
I’ve never actually heard the name [name_m]Anders[/name_m] spoken, so I wouldn’t have thought of pronouncing it ON-ders. I’ve only read it in a book or on baby names sites like this, so I’ve just pronounced it the way it looked like it would be pronounced. =]
Have you considered [name_m]Anderson[/name_m]? That would distinguish the name from [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] even further, and it would also guide the pronunciation away from ON-ders.
We have a niece and a nephew (DH’s older brother’s oldest kids) with whom we are very close whose last name is [name_m]Anderson[/name_m], so that’s a no-go for DH. 
I don’t think it should matter. You are choosing the names for different reasons, and they are different enough. If she wants to be thingy about it, then I honestly think she’s being immature. You both have the right to use the names you love.
Personally, I would be a little weirded out but, as someone else mentioned, no one can really own a name. [name_m]Anders[/name_m] and [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] really are the same name, one being a form of another, but since the other woman is currently your friend and not a sister (the boys wouldn’t be related), I guess it isn’t the biggest deal in the world.
I was in a similar situation, but chose to back down from the name in question, because it meant a lot to my friend. It meant a lot to her to use the name and I wasn’t going to get in the way of that. I guess it just boils down to the situation and individuals. Some think it is fine, some don’t.
I love the name [name_m]Anders[/name_m]! I knew one in high school, and he pronounced it [name_f]ANN[/name_f]-ders, not ON-ders, so either pronunciation is viable.
It’s hard to put myself in your position as a person who doesn’t want kids, but I don’t think I’d be too upset if my friend used a similar name to the one I was set on. I’d probably either use it anyway and try to work out a nickname (like [name_u]Drew[/name_u] for [name_m]Andrew[/name_m]) so it wouldn’t be confusing when both kids were in the same place, or if that didn’t work I’d just concede and choose something else.
I will say, though, that it’s really considerate of you to think of your friend’s feelings in this. If her opinion really matters to you, you might want to ask her what she thinks.