I have been hit with another curveball and my life has taken a bit of turn things have ended between me & my partner which is sad but okay. Things happen for a reason and despite trying to make family life work we’re not compatible.
Anyways this means that it’s just me & Lilia which is a little overwhelming despite initially thinking I was going to be a single mum it’s only just happening so I’m wondering whether berries who are single parents can give me their best tips to make it work!
I am, and have been for most of my son’s life, a single mum too. I don’t know if I have any tips per se, but I have found that when it was just me and him, some things were easier, some harder, but most of all just different. To focus on some of the positives - you are the queen of your own castle and can have everything the way you want it, including doing exactly what you you think is in your child’s best interests in every aspect of their day-to-day care, without the stress and compromise that comes with having the other parent in the house.
The times when I’ve had close friends in similar situations with their littles have been a source of much needed social support. On that note, you can always PM me to vent about anything! I’ll listen Ditto when I’ve had friends and family to help me with childcare, that’s helped life run smoothy. I hope you have some good people around you - reaching out to them if you’re overwhelmed can make a huge difference to your wellbeing.
Sending lots of love and positivity your way!
@EdgeOfTheMeadow thank you for responding along with your offering up a friendly ear it’s really kind and appreciated. You’ve raised some really valid points and reinforced some positives I had to the back of my mind about it just being me & [name_f]Lilia[/name_f]. Thank you
I’m not a single parent but I wanted to verbalise my support and encourage you to take heart because you can and will meet the challenges that will come your way.
For tips, I’d suggest Gingerbread as a starting point. It’s the national charity in the UK for single parents and should be a useful resource for finding information and support. There’s two other things that come to mind.
You might find your social network changes as your needs change. Rebuild and strengthen your network with those who are positive and supportive of you. Think about support that helps you on a practical level to lighten your load, emotional support to help you cope, and social support to give you a break. You could find support and connections in your community such as your local childcare centre, library or family health nurse, by joining a single parent support group or forum, or meeting other parents at play groups and activities Lilia does.
My last thought is about self-care. It’ll be a challenge but work out ways to prioritise yourself and schedule time for you in your week so you can recharge and be the parent you want to be. It can be as short or as long as you can manage. Lean on your support network. You could suggest a regular babysitting night with a trusted friend or relative, ask for help with pick ups and drop offs, or suggest a swap arrangement with another parent so you take turns minding each other’s children.
No parent is perfect so don’t be too hard on yourself. Your positive attitude, strength and determination will stay with your daughter for life. You’ve got this
@kachenka thank you so much for your response it’s really kind and it’s so sweet coming from you as I feel you’ve always been in the background of my whole parenting journey due to the fabulous advise you gave when I was pregnant with [name_f]Lilia[/name_f]. I will look into gingerbread. Thank you
I’m not going to say I’m sorry for you, because that’s not what you need, so: you’ve got this
I was a single parent for a while after my ex-husband and I separated. The most important thing as a single parent is, in my opinion, your support system and network. It does take a village to raise a child, and even more so when you’re a single parent. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, even for the little things you believe might sound silly. Social media can be a blessing when you’re a single parent: find groups on FB etc for emotional support, but also for practical help when needed.
@Rosebeth thank you for your message! Honestly I will embrace my village your advise is great and thank you for the offer of PM that’s very kind of you
When I was pregnant with my daughter, my aunt told me that she loved being a single parent. I hadn’t really heard that before and I found it very helpful and empowering.
So, I’ll pass the sentiment on to you… I love being a single parent. It’s hard but we, as doting parents, find a way to adjust so our child has everything they need
Ditto when I’ve had friends and family to help me with childcare, that’s helped life run smoothy. I hope you have some good people around you - reaching out to them if you’re overwhelmed can make a huge difference to your wellbeing.
