TD;LR: A staff member at my school won’t stop lengthening my name (Sky) to [name_u]Skyler[/name_u], & I don’t know what to do next since the faculty won’t listen to me.
There is this one staff member at my school – I’ll call her Ms. K, and to be honest I don’t even know her name. I don’t really know what to call her job, she sits on the bus with us. She doesn’t drive, she just sits there and yells at kids for putting their heads on the windows, leaning forward (completely pointless because the seatbelts only go across our laps, like airplane seatbets), slouching, talking to loud, putting our legs up (by the way, the seats are so ridiculously small & cramped it almost hurts if we don’t).
Ms. K has always known me as [name_u]Sky[/name_u]. That is how I introduced myself to her (even though it took a while to get her to stop calling me my dead name, even though she still writes it on everything-), and that’s waht literally everyone else on the bus calls me.
But she insists on calling me [name_u]Skyler[/name_u]. When I told her my name she asked if it was short for anything, & I said “no”. There is literally no reason to assume that that is my name. I correct her every time she says it & I just get a glare. She’s even threatened to call my parents over it!
But she just won’t stop calling me [name_u]Skyler[/name_u]! It’s really getting on my nerves. I’ve considered reporting her but the faculty won’t have me seriously, I’m sure… I have no idea what to do now.
First… Your school bus has seatbelts? That’s so interesting lol
But anyway, if your parents are supportive of your name then maybe I would have them talk to her. Either next time she “threatens” to call them just be like “ok please do” or have them come onto the bus one day to discuss it or have them call wherever she is employed (not sure if it’s the bus company or the school district). [name_u]Or[/name_u] you could spread the word through social media and that typically gets responses. Otherwise I’m not sure what else you could do.
So she is a bus assistant, that’s her job. Her job is not to decide what your name is. As a GSA advisor at a high school, even though I don’t know where you are currently living, this sounds political to me. This woman is doing this to make a point: Not accepting your name is exactly what you feel it is, her not accepting your identity.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you have a safe faculty or guidance person (LGBTQ friendly) at your school? That would be the person I would go to. Obviously, if your parents are supportive, you should go to them. However, it sounds as if you feel no one is supportive. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you have a local community college or university in your area, as they would likely have a GSA and someone you can speak with. Also, GLAAD has a chat on Instagram, Twitter, and their webpage where you can talk to their school team. They can offer you support and suggestions.
Do you have some kind of trust person or tutor at school with who you can talk about this? They might be able to arange a meeting where you, the bus assistant and that person sit down together. Than you can explain that it’s very important to you that people get your name right. The bus assistent will hopefully understand and promise to try remember. The tutor can mediate and support you during this talk.
[name_f]My[/name_f] mom is supportive of me, my dad isn’t. No, nobody at my school is, I live in a hard-right [name_u]Christian[/name_u] conservative area.
Anyways the real problem is that she is lengthening my chosen name all the time. She only calls me my dead name on paper (to my knowledge).
[name_f]My[/name_f] honest advice is to ignore her. She doesn’t really respect you but it sounds like you don’t respect her either so… Why bother trying to get her to do the right thing? Im sure you’ve met other people who really aren’t worth your time.
Maybe if your parents are up for it and are aware of your name, could they make a complaint? I know schools tend to behave differently when adults get involved