I sort of need a little advice here.
Its about my almost seven year old son, [name_m]Bridger[/name_m]. Hes been having a lot of trouble at school. He seems to be getting some “bullying” in his class. I dont really know when it started, but he told me and my husband a couple of weeks ago. He says he gets picked on because of the things he likes. Stuff like, hes into [name_f]Star[/name_f] Wars and Super Heros.I thought thats stuff that all seven year old little boys liked?? I really feel bad for him. He really liked school since he was in kindergarten and all of a sudden he doesnt wanna go and blah blah blah. He said hes only got one friend and that hes lonely because nobody likes the stuff that he likes, and he doesnt like that all the other boys like. My husband and I have been trying to tell him that everybody has different interests and everybodys special in their own way. I really really feel bad for my little man. I want to help him in some way.
Should I talk to the teachers?? He is only six years old. Should I just leave it and get it to come around naturally??
If youre kids have gone through this kind of stuff, please tell me what you did. If theres any teachers out there, tell me what kind of stuff goes through in this kind of situations.
I would mention it to his teacher so he/she is aware of what is going on. Most 7 year old boys do like those things so maybe the teacher can help him build some frendships with boys who have similar interests to him? Continue to build his self confidence at home and draw his attention to all the wonderful things there are about him.
Let his teacher know what’s going on. Kids tend to “bully” and say mean things out of earshot of the teacher so he/she probably isn’t aware unless the child tells him/her. I’m a student teacher, and it is impossible to listen to every conversation when there are 25 kids in the classroom. The teacher can talk to the students involved and help mediate the situation. I’m in a first grade classroom right now, and whenever there is some sort of “bullying” incident going on, I talk to the students involved and the whole class about it and how it makes people feel, etc. I’m sure your son’s teacher will do the same.
I know of kids that encounter cliquishness in pre-K. If it’s just that than maybe give it some time and see if next week the group is on to a different kid. I err on the side of ‘free range’ parenting. I figure that the kid who the teachers force the group to include could be more looked down on than the different loner. That’s just me. If you’re putting the word bully in quotations I am taking it to mean that you don’t think it’s all that serious. Personally, I would give him time to adjust to being told he has “uncool” tastes. Maybe he will stand by his interests & make a new set of friends or maybe he will start getting into whatever the new cool stuff is and it will resolve itself. I would give it no more than 1 month. If things still seemed just as bad I would talk to the school admin.
I’m so sorry your son is going through this. It’s heartbreaking to watch your kid struggle with bullies. And for some reason it seems to be right around that age (6 or 7) that the boys will start to pick on each other for whatever reason they can find.
My advice is to keep being as supportive of him as you can. When he is feeling lonely after a hard day at school, try to do something with just him (if you can; it looks like you’ve got a baby and a preschooler so you might have to get really creative in carving out some special time–maybe a few minutes of building a LEGO/[name_f]Star[/name_f] Wars set with him?). Keep helping him cultivate his interests, whatever they may be.
It’s also tempting to step in, but with experience (and LOTS of mistakes on my part) I’ve found that there are better ways to empower him; for example, tell him to try his best to say, “that’s not cool”, “that’s hurtful”, “what a lame thing to say” or “it’s not okay to say that!”. [name_m]Will[/name_m] it completely stop things or necessarily work in a given situation? No, and boys don’t tend to want to say those things (in my experience, anyway), but for his sake it’s an important thing to learn.
Teachers will notice that he is respectfully trying to defend himself, and they may respond to that by supporting him in making new friendships (especially if you mention that one of his goals is to make some new friends this year).
Good luck to you; this will pass eventually, and I hope some of what I am saying is helpful.
Thank you all for your kind hearted advice. My husband and I talked and we are going to talk to his teacher about this. I am still hoping that this will go away soon. I just feel so bad for my baby. We are still talking to [name_m]Bridger[/name_m] about how everyone is special to build his self confidence.
I would definitely talk to your teacher. Your teacher has so many kids he/she doesn’t know everything! He/she might be able to incorporate bullying into his/her lessons. They could find creative games like “raise your hand if you like candy” etc and the children can find out what they have in common and realize they aren’t so different.
The teacher might also be able to talk to the other kids parents so they know that their child needs a talking to. Bullying should not be tolerated or ignored. These harmful things can be passed on to your child. I remember my mom told me that she began noticing that I started hitting my younger sister a lot when I entered Kindergarten. Apparently I sat next to a boy who would hit me in class. She called my teacher and she talked to the boy and his mother, but also moved me to another table. The problem stopped. I have no recollection of this, heck I was what 5? But if the problem hadn’t been addressed, who knows, I could have gone on to be a bully myself.