Soon to be a mom! In need of some advice

Hey! Calling all mom’s of nameberry! I due in [name_u]January[/name_u] and I feel like I am in no way prepared for this next step in our lives. I need some “new mom advice” or just mom advice on general! Thank you so much!

I’m not a momberry, but I was wondering if you’d be alright with me moving this to the Momberries category. They might be more likely to see it there :slight_smile:

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Totally! Thank you!

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Sorry! I didn’t even see that it was a category.

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It’s alright! I’ve moved it for you now, so hopefully you get lots of great advice :smiley:

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Thank you so much!

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New mom advice…let’s see. :thinking: Well, I know a lot of new mom advice will sound cliche but one thing I needed to be told multiple times was:

Take time to take care of yourself too!

Not everyone experiences this and I hope you don’t, but I had pretty bad postpartum anxiety. I was worried about the babies constantly to the point I couldn’t sleep.
[name_m]Just[/name_m] be aware of how you’re feeling and let someone you trust help you if you feel overwhelmed. It’s ok to need a break.

Also, most of the time babies are resilient little creatures and there’s no need to worry too much that you aren’t doing everything “perfectly”.

Enjoy those sweet baby smiles and cry with the baby if you need to. :laughing:

I hope I’m not making it sound awful. It’s really not. But it can be intense. (Some babies are easier than others. Better sleepers etc)
Having twins as our first was kind of a trial by fire those first few months. :grimacing::joy:

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This advice is so helpful! Thank you! I actually just super worried about giving birth itself.

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I had a c-section so I don’t have any other experience than that. [name_f]My[/name_f] sister gave birth twice naturally and it was very quick and easy for her. She did have an epidural though.
I will say that the doctors and everyone at the hospital was so kind and calming. I was scared too but when it was actually go time I was just ready to meet the babies.

I think everyone’s experience is different when it comes to giving birth but it would probably help to hear what other Berries did to prepare. :blush:

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Hey! Congrats :blush:

I’m not a mum, but I had been watching some Cimorelli videos on YT recently (they’re a band of sisters) and the eldest sister gave birth in [name_u]August[/name_u] I believe, so maybe you could check out some of their videos. I felt warm and cosy vibes, and found it interesting to watch from the perspective of someone who’s never given birth - maybe it would help make you feel less alone and give you some food for thought :woman_shrugging::smiley: I think she has her own channel too, [name_f]Christina[/name_f] Cimorelli, where she speaks specifically on the subject.

Good luck !! Wishing you the best :slight_smile:

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Thank you so much😄

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I’m just a teenberry, but I hope I can still share my insight on the matter. :blush:
I plan on going into the OB/GYN field, so I’ve done a lot of research on births (but I’m still definitely not more qualified than an actual mom :laughing:). I really enjoy watching birth vlogs… like, a lot of them. This would probably stress some people out more, but I think it brings more familiarity to the process of giving birth. Childbirth is just another part of life, and no matter how afraid you are, you will get through it! [name_f]Remember[/name_f], every birth is different! Try not to set too many expectations going in, and just trust that your body knows what to do! Much [name_u]Love[/name_u]! :blush:

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Thank you so much❤️

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Learn from others, but most of all trust your instincts.

Im a teenberry, but I do have some advice!

Remember that nobody’s perfect and ur never alone! [name_m]Just[/name_m] keep that in the back of ur mind!

Re the birth, don’t get attached to a specific birth plan. [name_f]Every[/name_f] baby comes to the world in its own way. I tried for natural birth twice and laboured for a long time in each case and it didn’t work out for me. I was hugely disappointed and suffered with my c section recovery. With baby three and for this one natural birth was not an option. I had to mentally set myself up for the pain but I didn’t get disappointed. [name_f]My[/name_f] body just doesn’t let me have the birth I want but it’s more important my children are born safely.

That’s not to say you won’t be able to have a natural birth if that’s what you want. [name_m]Just[/name_m] that on the actual day be open to changes of course. [name_m]Don[/name_m]’t let your first weeks with your new baby be ruined by disappointment if it doesn’t go like your plan

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You will love your new baby so much that will make the right choices.[name_u]Trust[/name_u] me. [name_f]Do[/name_f] what works for you and baby.[name_u]Trust[/name_u] you. [name_m]Don[/name_m]’t over comp!icate.You don’t need every last baby item out there.If someone says how can I help,be specific. [name_u]Trust[/name_u] me. Be as ready as you can.babies can make surprise entrances so.do.what you can when you can. Meals in the freezer etc. You will be fine.[name_u]Trust[/name_u] us both

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Firstly, congrats!
Okay here’s some very long advice:

I second the ‘stock your freezer’ advice!

Plus get LOTS of sleep in the days/weeks before. Yes you’re like a whale and also excited to meet baby and nervous of labour and getting comfortable can be tricky… But SLEEP like you’ll never sleep again. It’s perfectly normal for newborns to wake every 2-3 hours to feed (for weeks) and your body will also be recovering from birth and making milk. It’s exhausting. [name_m]Hence[/name_m] having the freezer stocked cause you haven’t got time for cooking!

Also, read up and/or go to antenatal classes just to make yourself aware of the stages of labour, things that can go wrong, pain relief options, the baby blues that happen for a few days after birth, breastfeeding, safe sleep practices (whether baby is in own crib or you’re considering co-sleeping) etc. I’d dreamed of a wonderful natural birth in a birthing centre with me feeling in control, maybe a water birth. [name_f]My[/name_f] baby didn’t end up growing properly in the womb and I needed to be induced in hospital… ended up with a hospital birth where they tried a balloon catheter in my cervix, then gel, then I went through 4 hours of increasingly painful labour with the midwives telling me it wasn’t really labour… was offered pethidine but had heard about it in antenatal class so said no, had meconium in waters, ventouse was needed to get baby out in the end. I’m NOT trying to scare you! But things like knowing the risks/benefits of different pain reliefs like pethidine and epidurals from antenatal class really helped me cope with what was happening, as did knowing that meconium in the waters may indicate baby’s in stress, and what a ventouse was (though I think I’d imagined something a bit more gentle like a sink/toilet plunger!).

And… the first months of being a Mum are so so so hard. [name_m]Way[/name_m] harder than you’re currently imagining. It’s this horrible steep scary learning curve and you’ve gotta do it all on barely any sleep and sometimes with hemorrhoids and stitches in your nether regions. And zero time to yourself. You sit there with a baby on you while your dinner goes cold. You try to work out what to do with the screaming baby so you can have a shower or just go to the loo. But YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Almost every Mum has been there. Be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to find it hard. It’s okay to miss your old life. It’s okay to ask friends and family for help - could they cuddle the baby while you nap? It’s okay to leave the housework. It’s okay to seek help from a counsellor if you’re worried you’re getting depressed. It’s okay to not love being a parent at first. [name_m]Just[/name_m] ride with the ups and downs as you go through teething and illnesses. It gets better and better and better. The first smile, first laugh, and before you know it you’ve got a gorgeous cheeky wee thing and you’re reading books and singing together and they’re telling you about their world. [name_u]Trust[/name_u] your instincts. You’ve got this! :heart:

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Thank you!

Thank you so much to those who have commented so far!! Your advice has been extremely helpful❤️