Sudden name change....

Okay, I dont have any kids yet, so maybe I just dont “get” it. [name]One[/name] of my friends has a baby boy, he’ll be one in [name]April[/name]. She named him [name]Heath[/name] [name]Thomas[/name]… And he’s been called [name]Heath[/name] from day one. But in the last two months or so she started calling him [name]Thomas[/name]. I didnt think that was that odd, it is his middle name afterall. But now I just noticed she changed her name on Facebook to hernameThomasRay’sMamma. And she just posted about how she loves her little man, [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Ray[/name].

Okay… WTF. [name]Ray[/name] is nowhere in his name, and she seems to have completely forgot about [name]Heath[/name]. And NO, she did not suddenly legally change his name, its still [name]Heath[/name] [name]Thomas[/name]. Everyone else is still calling him [name]Heath[/name].

Anyone else just think this is odd?

I think it’s annoying. [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Ray[/name] isn’t even cute at all in my opinon, [name]Heath[/name] is much better.

Very strange. And he’s almost one?! I can sort of understand if he’s maybe a day or two old, and he just doesn’t ‘fit’ the name, but changing it to something different that far one is plain weird.
I’ve always thought it was extremely shallow and sort of irresponsible to change your child’s name simply because you like another one. I cannot imagine growing up knowing that you had a totally different name for the first year/two years/three years of your life. Makes me shiver.

HOWEVER, there may be a perfectly legitimate reason. Maybe [name]Thomas[/name] was honouring a family member, and they had recently died? She might have wanted to honour him even more, and use it in the first position. Or maybe she suddenly wanted to add [name]Ray[/name] for whatever reason, but didn’t want to give him two middle names, so kicked out [name]Heath[/name] and just used [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Ray[/name]?

I really hope it was a legitimate reason. But then again, it’s not my child. I don’t even have kids, so I don’t really know if that’s ‘normal’ either. I’m guessing not.

She hasnt said anything about a family member dying. As far as I know he’s not named after family. I dont know her that well, she’s mainly the bf’s friend. He was extremely suprised as well when we went over to visit and she was calling him [name]Thomas[/name]. Him being a guy and not caring didnt ask why the change and I dont know her as well as him and didnt want to be rude and just outright ask.

But all of her family are still calling him [name]Heath[/name], which just makes her calling him [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Ray[/name] even weirder, to me.

Most berries think it is perfectly acceptable to change a child’s name. However, I really don’t understand that. Your child becomes that name. I think, unless there are extreme circumstances (adoption, witness protection) you should not confuse a child with a completely different name.

It’s not a big deal at all imo.

My brother goes by his middle name, and always has, yet knew perfectly well at the simple age of two that his first name was something different. And he has never had any identity crisis or the like at all. [name]Ever[/name]. He’s almost 13 now.

Perhaps she realized that [name]Heath[/name] wasn’t fitting him well, or received lots of negative attention. Maybe she’s experience a person named [name]Heath[/name] that left a horrible impression on her.
A name is really just a label, plenty of people are named [name]Heath[/name] and they are not all the same, ditto with [name]Thomas[/name]. All she’s really doing is calling him by his middle name instead of his first and tacking on another middle name. It’s hardly a big difference at all, and I’m pretty sure the child isn’t confused.

He’s only a year, and that still plenty early to change a baby’s name if you realize it’s really not fitting.

Your comments are extremely judgemental and as you said you don’t have kids and have never named a child, so really you and no one else has no room to judge unless you have walked in that persons shoes. Does it send shivers down your spine knowing that you probably were called other things besides your name, like sweetie, honey and other sweet nicknames that parents usually call there children? Your being dramatic, a lot of people change there kids names and they all turn out just fine, the name doesn’t define the individual it’s the other way around. And to the original poster, perhaps your friend hasn’t divulged all the details to you, you are clearly a judgemental person based off your post and airing her personal business on the Internet (her child’s name etc) isnt being much of a friend on your part. Again there may be some real details that she isn’t telling you regarding her reasons, and she doesn’t owe you an explanation. A name is forever, so if she decided that Heath wasn’t what she wanted him to be called for the rest of his life then it’s her right as his mother to change it. Try being her friend and give her credit for wanting the best for her son. Sorry but I cannot stand narrow minded judgemental people.

I agree with east93.

[name]Don[/name]'t judge someone until you’ve walked in someone’s shoes. You don’t know the details and she doesn’t owe you an explanation, give her more credit, and understanding, maybe she has really struggled with namers remorse. I will quote [name]Plato[/name], “be kind for everyone is fighting a battle”. Your not being kind by posting her situation with child’s name on a baby name, treat others as you would want to be treated.

I agree with east93.

[name]Don[/name]'t judge someone until you’ve walked in their shoes. You don’t know the details and she doesn’t owe you a detailed explanation. And really does it affect you what she calls her son? I’m kind of surprised to even see a post like this, she’s calling him by his middle name, SO what? And even if Thomas wasn’t his middle name, so what? My favorite quote is: “be kind for everyone is fighting a battle”.

Also based on what you do know, my guess is that she is trying out Thomas ray and if it fits then she will make it official, it seems weird to you right now because her family is still using Heath, if they were also using Thomas then it would be clear and wouldn’t be anything to bat an eyelash at.

Why? Does the name define the person? No. It’s still the same person with the same traits etc. What about people who change their names as teens/adults? Does that make you shiver? There are a lot worse things to shiver about, examples would be finding out your adopted, realizing that your mother carried you but wasn’t actually your biological mom…had egg donor, or finding out that your dad is a sperm donor and you’ll never have a real biological dad…now those things are legitimate things to make a person shiver…but a name change? No.

Did she pick [name]Heath[/name], or did [name]Heath[/name]/[name]Thomas[/name]'s father pick it? I could see a scenario where she wanted to name the baby [name]Thomas[/name], gave into his name preference, and now they’re having problems, so she is being passive aggressive in calling the child by the name that she wanted all along.

Of course, that was all completely made up in my weird little mind, but there could be plenty of reasons why she would do that. She isn’t pregnant again, is she? Has anyone else reacted to the baby’s sudden new name on Facebook?

I’m pretty sure I did mention how it wasnt odd to be calling him by his middle name. You seem to be taking this personally, which I’m not really sure why. All I did was was say my confused opinion. And no, its not a huge deal, but I just thought I would share it, seeing as how this is a baby name website.

mcdonak1 - The babies father has never been in his life, so I dont think thats the case. And yes, other people on FB have said stuff about it, too. Quite a few people were actually asking who [name]Thomas[/name] was when she posted that status, thinking she had a new boyfriend.

I do find that odd. I would just ask her about it. It’s not an offensive question by any means and she knows full well changing his name would be attention getting so she should be expecting to explain it.

Why would I take your post personally? I just happen to disagree with your line of thinking. I also think your wrong to discuss your friend’s situation on the INTERNET listing her sons names without her consent, its too faced and busybodish. Nameberry is a very popular website, so its a good chance she will see your post (all she has to do is search her sons names and it will pop up) so good luck wth that!

[QUOTE=allyfally;1402773]I’m pretty sure I did mention how it wasnt odd to be calling him by his middle name. You seem to be taking this personally, which I’m not really sure why. All I did was was say my confused opinion. And no, its not a huge deal, but I just thought I would share it, seeing as how this is a baby name website.

QUOTE]

Why would I take your post personally? I just happen to disagree with your line of thinking. I also think your wrong to discuss your friend’s situation on the INTERNET listing her sons names without her consent, its too faced and busybodish. Nameberry is a very popular website, so its a good chance she will see your post (all she has to do is search her sons names and it will pop up) so good luck wth that!

Why would I take your post personally? I just think your friend has a right to call her son what she wants.