Surname Dilemma

My SO and I are both females, and as name nerds, we love to geek out and pick out names for our future brood. One thing that just occurred to us and has put a halt in our playing is the surname dilemma. I’m [name_u]Garcia[/name_u] and she is Short. We think this has a huge impact on the first name and middle style. And as name nerds, we kind of just want to pick one for aesthetic reasons since we have nothing else to go off of. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you prefer the last name [name_u]Garcia[/name_u], or the last name Short? Or, do you think we should go off the wall and aim for a [name_u]Garcia[/name_u]-Short, Short-[name_u]Garcia[/name_u]? I’m not really keen on hyphens, just whatever sounds best. What do you think? Or do you have an idea of how we should go about this dilemma better than we are already looking at it?

I think it depends on who the primary parent will be (eg. emergency contact on forms). If it’s you then [name_u]Garcia[/name_u] if it’s your partner than Short and if it’s the both of you than [name_u]Garcia[/name_u]-Short. It doesn’t mean one parent is any less however it will be easier for schools and such. I’m not a parent though so take it with a grain of salt.

The other option could be to create a separate last name for your kids , one that fits you aesthetic. From your signature [name_u]Drew[/name_u] and [name_u]Spencer[/name_u] would work really well. However I can how this option could be stressful.

combine them! Shortia

I’d say combine them both to make a surname but I think that’d be silly (Gort? Shortia? Lol). I prefer [name_u]Garcia[/name_u] myself but your best bet is to make it [name_u]Garcia[/name_u]-Short or Short-[name_u]Garcia[/name_u], despite the obvious clash.

I would go with [name_u]Garcia[/name_u]-Short . I have a different last name than my kids and sometimes it can be a hassle.

I think [name_u]Garcia[/name_u]-Short sounds the best.

Thanks for the feedback everybody. I was wondering if a hyphenated name would be a burden on a kid, I’ve never personally met anyone (who is a kid, not married) with a hyphenated last name. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you think it would just be easier/better to take one name over the other?

Haha Shortia and Gort

I would also go for [name_u]Garcia[/name_u]-Short. The flow is better than Short-[name_u]Garcia[/name_u].

For you guys, I like both names being involved. Especially because you may not both be biologically involved for both kids (not sure if you’re adopting, or using donors, or what and that’s totally your business and cool however!), but if it were me I’d want both our names involved so no one feels left out or less connected.

If you choose to hyphenate, Garcia-Short is definitely the best option. Short-Garcia sounds like a description of someone.

I knew of a few kids in college who had hyphenated names. Some actually just used one of the last names while others went by the full hyphenated last name. So I guess if you gave a hyphenated last name, your kids could go by whichever one they wanted or both? I will say, as far as hyphenated names go, Garcia-Short is actually pretty good. It’s not too long and both are easy to spell, which makes it a lot easier.

Another option would be for all kids to have one surname as their middle name and all kids to have the other surname as their last name (if you or your partner is cool with your surname being in the middle name slot). So you could have Raphael Garcia Short and Amada Garcia Short (or Raphael Short Garcia and Amada Short Garcia, depending on what you pick).

edited for privacy

I prefer [name_u]Garcia[/name_u] personally. Or [name_u]Garcia[/name_u]-Short (Short-[name_u]Garcia[/name_u] sounds too much like a description, imo), if you want to use both. Shorcia works too. :smiley:

I would use [name_u]Garcia[/name_u] Short, no hyphen. I, like you, dislike hyphenated names, but you are allowed to have two surnames; i.e., “[name_u]Garcia[/name_u] Short.” I think “Short [name_u]Garcia[/name_u]” sounds a little off, mostly because it sounds like you’re calling someone named [name_u]Garcia[/name_u] a short person.

For an example, HRC was born [name_u]Hillary[/name_u] [name_f]Diane[/name_f] Rodham, married and added her husband’s surname, becoming [name_u]Hillary[/name_u] Rodham [name_m]Clinton[/name_m], and is now known both as [name_u]Hillary[/name_u] Rodham [name_m]Clinton[/name_m] and [name_u]Hillary[/name_u] [name_m]Clinton[/name_m]. Sometimes [name_u]Garcia[/name_u] might be dropped, sometimes Short, but I think it would be the easiest, simplest, and cleanest option.

Either that, or I would use [name_u]Garcia[/name_u] as a “second middle” for all of your children. [name_u]Garcia[/name_u] seems like a good family name to have a second middle, while Short might be a little weird as a middle name.

[name_u]Garcia[/name_u]-Short or [name_u]Garcia[/name_u] Short (double surname, no hyphen), are the options I would personally go for. I think only using one or the other surname would exclude the other parent, and using an invented “smoosh” name has always struck me as asking for confusion and complications further down the line. I don’t think [name_u]Garcia[/name_u]-Short/[name_u]Garcia[/name_u] Short would pose any problems length-wise on official forms or anything like that - it’s the same length as my own (single-barrelled) surname.

Here in the UK, it’s much more common for kids to have a double-barrelled surname, and it works just fine. Sometimes, the parents have the same double surname, but more often (in my experience) such surnames are a combination of both parents’ names, e.g. if they’re unmarried or the mother has chosen to keep her maiden name. The only thing I would say is that it might have a bearing on your choice of first name, if you don’t want the full name to sound “too much” or too long. I have a friend whose daughter has both her and her partner’s surnames (hyphenated); she wanted [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] for the first name but ultimately decided that with the surname it was just too “posh” sounding. She ended up calling her [name_f]Rosie[/name_f] with [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] as the middle name, as the surname was more important to her. That always struck me as a perfect “compromise name”!

Agreed, Short-[name_u]Garcia[/name_u] would be pretty terrible. (A short [name_u]Garcia[/name_u] is literally all that comes to mind) SO and I looked through all of the feedback and this was very helpful! At least now I’m more confident that it’s not too terrible, generally acceptable and more common.

But idk it still gives me anxiety to have kids with hyphenated last names! Lol Now looking at [name_u]Garcia[/name_u]-Short in practice though I really think everyone should just take one name. Everyone [name_u]Garcia[/name_u], or everyone Short.
If not, maybe we could look up the family tree and pick someone else’s last name? We thought that would be a fun compromise with lots of possibilities (Riggs, [name_u]Ellis[/name_u], [name_m]Perez[/name_m], Mendoza, Lopez)

You could do what my parents did and give them two middle names? My (and my sister’s) second middle name was* my mom’s last name, and my surname was the same as my dad’s. My parents were and still are married but both wanted to keep their names and both wanted their names represented in mine so that was their compromise. I think you should definitely stay consistent no matter what… It was weird enough for me as a kid having a mom with a different last name. Having a SIBLING with a different last name would be even weirder, especially if they don’t look a lot alike people might not even believe them when they say they’re siblings.

*When I got married I legally dropped both parents’ names just for the sake of simplifying legal documents because I didn’t want to have 3 middle names.

[name_f]Do[/name_f] you guys have a family name that is in both of your families?

My niece has the name C@stano L0pez, and though it isn’t hyphenated on her birth certificate, her parents end up writing that to avoid confusion. She will often get forms that just say L0pez because people assume that her other last name is her middle name. I’d say combine and probably hyphenate to avoid confusion. Good luck!

I know some have suggested making a new surname by smooshing both of yours, but have you considered maybe choosing a different surname altogether and maybe both of you switch to that and give it to any future children? I actually know someone who did this, and the way they viewed it, the paperwork and process were totally worth it and they are very happy. It could be a name from one of your family trees, a surname you like, or maybe a word name that means something to you both? There’s a lot of options out there. I hope you find something that works for you!