Hello! Not currently TTC but have been talking about it more with my SO. I’m curious if you were team green (not knowing the sex) or if you found out the sex prior to their birth.
I’m curious because in theory it seems like something I’d want to do. I’m highly aware of gender stereotypes and already know I want to minimize those things going in. Like it or not pink and blue are often gendered colors for babies so I’d likely only purchase things in nature based colors, which are my favorite anyways (greens, yellows, orange, browns, mauve, etc) to 1. Make the items usable for any child and 2. [name_m]Just[/name_m] because I prefer those colors anyways.
Anyways sorry I’m rambling. [name_f]My[/name_f] SO thinks team green is the way to go but I worry that I’ll feel less connected or secure having less information about what’s happening.
What was your experience? Did you always find out or just with one? Did that differ? I’m very curious! Also would love any insight from those who thought they’d struggle with the lack of control in the whole process.
Ok so I’m TTC no children yet, and I think I used to feel like you. But now that this is less hypothetical, I’m thinking knowing the sex would make me feel more mentally prepared for an actual human child. Lol I don’t know if this makes any sense.
I do plan to dress this hypothetical child in all colors of the rainbow. (Except orange, because Auburn, Florida, Tennessee…)
No it totally does! That’s exactly how I feel. Since I’m a name nerd I’ll have a bunch of names picked out it it seems odd to not be able to name the baby anything other than baby. Solidifying that it’s actually happening.
It’s just also such a “chill, relaxed, chic” thing to not find out which I usually don’t care about but for some reason with this it’s influencing me lol.
Edit: I say that because people are moving more towards natural birthing and natural this and natural that which sometimes includes not knowing the sex of the baby
Hi! So since I was very very young having my daughter and still very young while pregnant with my son, I decided to find out the genders. I find that knowing the gender would be better in my opinion. I love the idea of nature based colors as well! [name_m]Don[/name_m]’t worry the rambling because we love hearing it! Otherwise we wouldn’t be reading it And maybe, (if your SO feels comfortable with this,) maybe you could know and have it be a suprise to your SO? [name_m]Just[/name_m] a thought!
Yes! That’s kind of where we landed on that haha. He mentioned that even if we decided to not find out I probably couldn’t make it and would call the doctor and find out anyways. But I’m strong willed so if it had a lot of benefits or people had good experience with it I might consider it
I don’t have kids, but will be TTC in a couple months. Growing up, I imaged myself as Team [name_u]Green[/name_u] so I wouldn’t to be pushing gender stereotypes on my kids… [name_m]Even[/name_m] tho in-the-womb is a good time to start, it’s not necessary to be Team [name_u]Green[/name_u] if you want to raise your kids in a way that isn’t defined by their gender. Lately, I’ve really wanted to find out the gender. Mostly to help me narrow down names
However, when I discussed TTC with my sister-in-law, she immediately sent me a screenshot of a onesie that said something like “[name_f]My[/name_f] Auntie loves me” and said she would buy a pink one for a girl or a blue one or a boy.
I kinda had an “oh no” / life questioning moment… Because I really don’t want all pink or all blue. I messaged her back that I would prefer a unisex color (there were tons of color options) anyway…
So now I’m back to contemplating Team [name_u]Green[/name_u], simply because I don’t want all my gifts to be pink or blue! I know people who designated a baby color for their girls, to avoid all pink (one did purple, the other did lime green). Most people respected that, but I’ve also noticed and disliked design differences. Like boys have dinosaurs and spaceships… And girls have hearts and forest animals… But I want to see my kid in both… Idk what to do yet and I’m grateful I have some time to figure it out haha
We’ve found out twice because I want to know, the doctors know, so I want to know haha and names, because as much as I like gender neutral gender does affect name selection for me.
You could maybe find out but keep it a surprise from everyone else?
Yes I completely feel this. Most of my family would likely be okay if I just said something similar “neutral colors.” As I too do not want harsh pink and blue things. I’m also just not a huge fan of “daddy’s lil worker” or the other ones like that. Which is another reason.
Maybe knowing ourselves but not telling anyone else could fix this issue? Thank you for sharing your feelings on this!! [name_f]Glad[/name_f] I’m not alone haha
Yes I just thought of this when replying to @Elle1! That would likely be the best option for me in the end. I completely understand wanting to know I battle with it myself so I’ll likely find out whenever the day comes.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING! Is that an ok thing to do? I’ve never known someone who did this… (but a lot of what I do is not the norm )
@ForesterGal - I HATE, with a passion, the ones that say things like “chicks dig me” for boys. Heteronormative clothing on my kids is not ok. I’m not sure I’d be able to control my face or words if I unwrapped that
I don’t see why not!! I mean for me I’m not worried about my families feelings. I have a niece who’s a pre-teen so they’ve had the stereotypical experiences with her and my sister. They would understand me keeping it a secret like that. It’s no different to me than keeping the name a secret which almost everyone I know does that!
Yes I couldn’t agree more! We don’t realize how young it starts. It’s very Pinterest mom.
I’m not confident I can handle being the ONLY person who knows If I had a partner, I could do it (I’m conceiving with a sperm donor). So I would have to pick someone to also know… I can see people being hurt if they find out I didn’t choose them to know… However, it’s my pregnancy and my kid soooo
Idk, I’m definitely going to seriously consider this tho!
We never found out for any of our kids, and I wouldn’t want it any other way! I’ve had more than a handful. The excitement of finding out is a real motivator to get that baby out! It’s also another exciting piece of news to share. So many things are public these days… sometimes the unknown is refreshing.
I have had three so far and we’ve been Team [name_u]Green[/name_u] each time and don’t plan to have it any other way if God plans to bless us with more…
I do think our reasonings are different. In that I think with Team [name_u]Green[/name_u] the assumption is “gender neutral”. However with us, we didn’t want that assumption. We went to the hospital with two names- one boy and one girl name. But we also went to the hospital fully prepared to dress a boy and to dress a girl. First time around this meant picking out one outfit for each gender (I always say keep the receipts!). They only stay in nb clothes for weeks at most and that’s all you really need instantly and family and friends pretty much stocked me up for my son once he was born. There was no gender neutral. [name_f]My[/name_f] second was a girl and again the excitement from others around us my daughter was never in “neutral”. With my third I divided the baby bag in two and half of it I stuffed with his brothers old clothes and the other half with his sisters old clothes and we actually allowed my son to pick out a boy outfit and daughter to pick out a girl outfit (opposed to the previous two times we did the picking out a new outfit pair)…all that to say you don’t need to go green to get neutral…
With having two names in mind we’ve had little nicknames during pregnancies aside from “baby”. With our first we had J@Bez and E$ther. So we called our baby J@bestie. Now that we have them both here we still will refer to them as that. Our third my first born called [name_u]Frost[/name_u] the entire time. Literally almost thought that would be the name.
I think the big pull for my hubby and I on being Team [name_u]Green[/name_u] is that for us no “gender reveal” beats the moment of being in labor, (be it c-section or natural we’ve done both) where the delivery team and prenatal team have no idea. And after hours having that moment where you hear the baby’s cry and then someone holding them up to my hubby and saying “Come on Dad tell us what it is!” And then hearing my husband say “IT’S A BOY!” Or “ITS A GIRL!” To me and him nothing could beat that.
I have two and I found out with both. I had always wanted to know, and always felt really strongly that my first would be a girl so my reasoning was if she wasn’t I wanted to prepare myself for the idea of a boy. I was worried I would need time to wrap my head around it. I actually shunned the idea of pink – refused to dress her in it, her nursery was blue, green, and yellow, and I offered her all sorts of toys not just stereotypical “girl” ones – so I’m not into the stereotypes at all – but I just needed to know!
As for my second, my daughter was so focused on having a sister that I wanted time to prepare her for the idea of a boy. I was also wanting a sister for her, and I was glad we found out that he was a he so that initial sibling meet-and-greet wouldn’t be a surprise ending in a tantrum about having a brother instead of a sister. You asked about connection – I always felt a strong connection with my daughter, but I really struggled with that bonding with my son early on (we have a wonderful relationship now!) even though I found out – I’m told this is actually reasonably common with subsequent children so might not affect you with a first whatever you decide to do.
All in all, I’m happy we found out. I can’t imagine being Team [name_u]Green[/name_u] myself, though I’m sure it would be exciting! I know it’s only something small, but I loved knowing something about my babies while they were in my tummy.
And maybe, (if your SO feels comfortable with this,) maybe you could know and have it be a suprise to your SO? [name_m]Just[/name_m] a thought!
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