teen mom's

I’m only 15 and having twins!
I am verrrryy nervous!
If anyone else is going to be a teen mom,post something,so we can like talk about it!

I had my first at 19 – so I was just barely in the teens. I was done with high school, in college, and living on my own. I had support from the dad and our parents (mostly) and it was still very difficult.
Being a mom is extremly rewarding, but also extremely difficult. The best piece of advice I can give you is to build a support system. You need to have people you can count on, lean on, ask advice, get tips, get a break… but not someone who is going to do everything for you either.

I’m not sure what other tips or advice I can give. I don’t know how far along you are, if you are considering adoption at this point, if the father is in the picture, if you parents (or his parents) are supportive, etc.

[name]Do[/name] relax though…take care of yourself. You can do this! [name]Don[/name]'t let people belittle you or tell you that you can’t. Educate yourself, establish/re-establish your priorities, and strive to be the best mom!

I’m not but good luck!
had twins at 18 :slight_smile: xxx

I’m not a teen mom, but I’ve watched enough of the show Teen Mom and done enough babysitting to give some advice…
[name]Do[/name] everything you can to stay with the dad, because, especially with twins, you’ll need him.
[name]Do[/name] everything you can to stay in school. I’m guessing you’ll be a sophomore in high school? You’ll have to work very hard because you need to graduate.
Find supportive friends and family or else this experience will be so much harder.
If you haven’t, I would strongly suggest considering adoption. There is a girl in my homeroom who was pregnant (I think she already had the baby) and she found a family to adopt her baby. Apparently her older sister did the same thing and couldn’t be happier.
While I’m not trying to tell you what to do, I just want to encourage you to think of what’s best for you and your kids. I’m about your same age, almost 16, and I can’t even imagine how difficult your situation must be. But you have to think of your hopes and dreams, and what you would want for your kids. For example, I want to be a teacher, but if I got pregnant now, during my junior year, it would be so much more difficult for me to provide the life I want for myself and children.

I know this is a tough situation, and I hope you make the decision that is best for your children and yourself. No matter what you decide, good luck.

I am a teen mom. I had my son at 17. I am now almost 20 and we are great! we odviously have had a lot of help from my family so appriciate everything they do for you. they will key to you getting through im sure. but what were you thinking of naming your twins?

i have a post under sibling names,those have some of the names i like but here are some of my favorites:

I’m not a teen mom, but my mother was. And all I can say is do the best you can do you for and your child. And you can still have a full life, but still take care of your child.

I rarely do this, but I am deleting several of these posts that amount to squabbling back and forth about how people are posting. As I think some of you know, we don’t tolerate that on nameberry. If you have support or sound advice to offer [name]BAE[/name], please post it here. Judgment, I’m sure she’s heard enough, and please no nipping at each other on these boards.

Things like this tend to break my heart. I had my daughter at 19, which is a long way from 15 during that stage of life, and I still felt like a child trying to raise a child. I spent a lot of my time and energy fighting the “teen mom” stigma, but no matter how hard you work, or how much you accomplish, it is something that comes to define you. It’s something you deal with on a daily basis. I’m in my late 20’s now, and when I talk about my daughter the first question people ask is “how old is she?”, then I can see them trying to do the math in their head. Other people are more up front about it and say things like “You look too young to have an 8 year old!”, to which I reply “I am”. I love my daughter, and I don’t ever regret having her. Her dad and I managed to do things people in that position rarely do: 1) we stayed together and 2) we finished college and university. But we struggled. We barely made it. It’s not glamourous. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

I’m not a teen mom, but I am in my final year of graduate school for social work, and what I would definitely recommend is getting in touch with a social worker, at least after the babies are born (every hospital has social workers, they will probably- or they should- come around and talk to you after the babies are born without you even asking, but also don’t be afraid to ask for one!) The social worker can help you get in touch with any services that you might qualify for, parenting classes, headstart and all kinds of other programs. They can definitely be a great resource, as two babies at any age can be incredibly overwhelming.
Also (as I’m sure you know) don’t neglect taking care of yourself now, going for regular doctor visits, getting sleep and eating well, taking prenatal vitamins, etc.
Best wishes!

oh i forgot to ask- when are they due??

thaank you for the advice!
and they are due november 11

I hope you have someone close to you who can support you in real life at this time, bae. I’m sure it will be challenging and that is the same for any age woman becoming a mother, not only at 15. But as a mum myself, I can tell you it’s hugely rewarding too so enjoy it :slight_smile:
Good luck, sweetie.


I’m not a teen mom, but my mom was, and my grandma before her. My mom was an older teen, but a teen nonetheless, when she had my eldest brother. She got pregnant at eighteen and had my brother at nineteen. My grandma was sixteen when she had my mom. I’m eighteen right now, but I’m still a virgin so I’ve got no worries on the pregnancy front.

It was really tough for my mom. She had a lot of support from my grandma, and cheap babysitting from my aunt, who is significantly younger than my mom. I’ve never met [name]Farrell[/name]'s (my brother’s) dad, so obviously they didn’t stay together.

She was actually six or seven months pregnant for her graduation ceremony - she had to walk across the stage with a giant belly for all of the parents of her peers to see. I can only imagine how that would feel.

I don’t really have any advice for you, other than remember that your children are children and not dolls. I don’t know you personally, but a lot of teenage moms just don’t mature enough to take motherhood seriously. It’s a big responsibility, especially twins! Your spare time will be nonexistent. You will be exhausted. You will have no money. You will be hungry and tired and cranky and sick of listening to babies cry 24/7, but remember that you are their mother and that no matter what, you have to be their mother. You’re the only one they’ve got.

Wow, listen to me getting all preachy. All I have left to say is: Good luck!!!

[name]Hi[/name] [name]BAE[/name],

I am sure you have heard it before a hundred times, but unless you are ready to 100% drop your life and everything you knew about it before, I would ask you to think about adoption for three reasons…

A: Your Life…At fifteen, I remember just learning how to drive, getting together with my high school boyfriend, causing a raucous and having a ball doing it! I am also a TOTALLY different person than I was 7 years ago…I am a strong, loving, financially stable woman, about to graduate from college and go on to grad school, and most of this is because I had 7 years to work on growing up. You deserve to live out your adolescence, finish school, mature into an adult at your own pace, learn how to love yourself and be strong and then someday, have babies that you can afford emotionally, physically, monetarily and psychologically to love and take care of as they properly deserve.

B: Your Babies’ Lives…your children will probably have a pretty good life with you as their mother since you seem to care enough to be on a blogsite learning and discussing how you are doing. On the other hand, if they were to be adopted, they would have parents who would necessarily be able to care for them, provide them a home and a space, pay for anything they needed (have you seen rates of health insurance??) and also would necessarily want a child so bad they are willing and eager to wait as long as it takes to bring home their new baby(ies). Your children deserve to be given 100% of their parents’ time, love, energy, and attention as that is the decision made when a person decides to become a parent. Doing this while finishing high school, or worse off trying to make a living without a high school diploma is going to be incredibly difficult, times 2.

C: Your Babies’ [name]Future[/name] Adopted Parents Lives: SO many people are looking to adopt a child these days it is actually pretty insane. Many adults are unable to have babies due to a variety of illnesses, diseases or simple infertility. These people are generally the ones who want parenthood so bad they cry, often. I’ve known parents going through adoption processes and heartbreak when the mom changes her mind last minute, and I would do anything to give them a child.

Putting your babies up for adoption would be one of the most respectable, selfless actions I could really think of…one that would not by any means be easy, but one that would probably lead your life in a more positive way than taking on the responsibility of parenthood when you yourself are still only an adolescent… It might be harder now and more emotionally straining to even think about giving away these two lives who have been growing inside you for so many months now, but think also about long term…

[name]Hi[/name] [name]BAE[/name],
I think that it’s great that you are obviously concerned about becoming a parent, and very impressive that you are taking it so seriously at only 15. I am not a parent myself, and so can not offer any advice, but I think that, given that you are trying to perpare yourself the best way you can, you and your babies will be fine. [name]Just[/name] learn as much as you can, save up as much money as you can (babies cause big expense!), surround yourself with supportive people and don’t be afraid to ask for help!

[name]Hi[/name], [name]BAE[/name]!

I’m 15 too, and while I’m not a mother or expecting, I do have some experience with pregnancy. There was a girl in my homeroom that I wasn’t really friends with, who got pregnant under incredibly unfortunate circumstances this fall. Because we go to an average high school, all of the students and teachers knew what happened to her, and when she decided that she would keep her baby, we all supported her, even though her own parents didn’t. Most of my grade, for example, brought in a pack of diapers or a cute little outfit for the baby. Also, she got a lot of help from the younger female teachers, who gave her advice on how to care for her child, and our English teacher even gave her an old crib, since her own parents refused to help pay for anything for the baby.

The girl handled her pregnancy perfectly. [name]Even[/name] though we all knew that the pregnancy wasn’t her choice, there were a few people in the school who ridiculed her, but she didn’t let their opinions get to her. In fact, one day late into her pregnancy, we were in history class together and she realized that she could no longer fit in the desk, she laughed for five minutes without being embarrassed about it. She also kept up with her appointments and proudly showed the pictures from the sonogram to everyone.

So, basically, what I want to say is this: find people, family, friends, teachers, neighbors, who will support you, and keep your head held high. Sure, I don’t think you planned on this pregnancy, and I’m sure it will be difficult, but if you’ll just have to learn to roll with the punches. I know it will be hard, but I’m sure it will be rewarding as well.

Also, you’ve picked out some gorgeous names :smiley: I think [name]Josephine[/name] and [name]Daniella[/name] would be adorable together!

  • H

PS: My classmate named her daughter [name]Hope[/name], who was born in mid-[name]June[/name], in case you were wondering.

hbyounk’s story sounds remarkably like a girl that I know who had a son at 16.

[name]Bae[/name], I wish you the very best of luck with your twins. I am not here to cricitize or judge, as I am 20 and expecting my first on my own. My mom was a teen mom and her best piece of advice to me was to have a support system. If not family, then close friends who truly care and truly want to help. Also, you don’t have to stay with the father just because you think its the right thing to do. My mom didn’t stay with my dad, she said she was better off on her own.

I do have one piece of advice of my own: Keep your chin up. I know a lot of really great moms out there who started young and were initially unprepared who are better moms than the ones who were older and thought they were better prepared when they had their kids.

Good luck and let us know what names you pick! :slight_smile:

hbyounk’s story sounds remarkably like a girl that I know who had a son at 16.

[name]Bae[/name], I wish you the very best of luck with your twins. I am not here to cricitize or judge, as I am 20 and expecting my first on my own. My mom was a teen mom and her best piece of advice to me was to have a support system. If not family, then close friends who truly care and truly want to help. Also, you don’t have to stay with the father just because you think its the right thing to do. My mom didn’t stay with my dad, she said she was better off on her own.

I do have one piece of advice of my own: Keep your chin up. I know a lot of really great moms out there who started young and were initially unprepared who are better moms than the ones who were older and thought they were better prepared when they had their kids.

Good luck and let us know what names you pick! :slight_smile:

I have known many people who were teen moms, one of my best friends had two children under the age of 18. Her first, she got pregnant at 14, had at 15. She then married at 16, and got pregnant with her second about 8 months later, and had her second when she was 17, just 2 months before her first’s second birthday. Now, her husband works, and they lived with her mom and then his mom (they live don their own for a bit but ended up leaving there apartment after a rent raise problem), and now they have their down house. He worked, and they went to school at night, he trained to become a firefighter and she finished highschool via-adult night hs diploma classes. She loves her children. Very very much and they live a relativly good life. He and her husband battle on and off with their happiness together, but she has never regreted her children, and loves them and would do anythign for them.

My godmom, also got pregnant and had my godbrother when she was 15.She graduated highschool, played softball, got a softball scholarship and became a nurse. She did wonderful in her life. Unfortuantly she died when i was about 9. But they were incrediably diffrent situations. Her son, myh godbrother, was raised extremly well, he was a very nice little kid and is a nice adult.

Now, I myself happen to feel diffrently about adoption then most people. I have always felt that if you feel like you can handle it (now it will be difficult! I helped my friend alot with her daughter when she was born and it was hard, but it was amazing) i think that it is aways better to keep your babies. It will be hard to keep everything going, but i KNOW it is possible. The people that dont do very well, let themselves not do well, they drop out of school and dont finish up. The msot important thing you can do for you and your babies is to finish school. But i think if you can make it, it will be the most rewarding thing of your life. Children are a gift and they should be treated as so, even when they are accidents. However, i feel diffrently then you may do, and i do think that some people just cant handle it, and if you cat. Adoption is the best anwser, but i would hope you find the strength within you to keep them. However i say again, i think i have a personal attactment to this sort of public issue. So i tend to feel diffrently then most, and my opinon may not be right for you.

The best advice is to finish school, and stil ltry and have fun, to an extent. Its ok to get a babysitter or have your parents watch them once every 2 weeks for you to do something, and i think that is especially important for teen moms, because you are a teen and need to be able to do that to an extent (i say extent because every night is not ok, but you need to keep your sanity- infact i think all parents should do this), and just love your babies unconditionally and do your absolute best for them (whether this is keeping them or giving them up for adoption) and they will always love you for it.

Good [name]Luck[/name]! Sorry if its all over the place, like i said, its sort of emtional for me. I have known alot of teen moms, and the situation is truly what you make it.

I am not a teen mom, but my boyfriend was a teen dad. We are both 25 now. I don’t know if you are in a relationship with the father, or if you will remain in a relationship with the father, but I strongly advise you to do your best to allow the father to have a healthy relationship with the children, if he chooses to be involved. [name]Don[/name]'t allow your personal feelings get in the way.

My boyfriend and the mother of his child do not get along. He pays child support and desperately wants to be involved in his son’s life, but he is rarely allowed to see his child. The effect it has had on his child is heartbreaking. His son is almost five and does not understand why he can’t see his father. The answer his mother gives is usually something like, “Your father is too busy for you.” I would strongly encourage you to avoid speaking negatively about your childrens’ father.

I’m sure this goes without saying, but, when you become a mother, you have to put the best interests of your children first. You should strive to have children that are not only physically healthy, but mentally healthy too.

As other’s have said, I don’t know if you are considering adoption, but it’s an option you may want to explore. I work with two women who have recently had twins. Though both women are married, it’s been quite a challenge.

I wish you the best!