Berries, I need some advice with dealing with my 19-month-old, [name]Cadie[/name]. She is hitting those terrible twos and on top of it, I just had her sister, [name]Laci[/name], two months ago and she seems to be having problems adjusting. I need some advice on a few behaviors that I would like to correct.
- Hair pulling. She usually does this while I am feeding her sister (I am breastfeeding). So when she takes a nice yank of my hair, I’m in a poor position to stop her. When I try to scold her, she just laughs and does it again. I have to put her sister down and get her of the couch. She will do this to her older, half-sister as well.
2.Throwing things…on the baby. Whether she is in my arms or in her bouncer, my youngest is getting nailed with objects by [name]Cadie[/name]. From small items like crayons to big ones like a toy phone or a doll. I am having a heck of a time trying to stop her from doing this. I am afraid, one of these days, it’s going to be something heavy and hard and on [name]Laci[/name]'s head.
- Messing with computer. [name]Cadie[/name] likes the mess with the tower and open the disk player. She knows she isn’t supposed to touch it. She runs away when she gets caught but she will continuously do it. I can’t do anything in my bedroom without having to stop her from messing with it. I tried putting something in front of it but she will move it.
What an I do?
It sounds like a bad case of the jealousies.
When my oldest nephew - the only grandchild on both sides of the family - was suddenly not the centre of attention when his little brother was born (exact same age difference between them and your girls) he became very hostile and violent. His favourite was pushing hard into little brother’s soft spot whenever he got the chance. [name]How[/name] a 2 year old knows that’s damaging to an infant is beyond me.
When you’re spending time with [name]Laci[/name] feeding her, [name]Cadie[/name] is pulling your hair to let you know that she wants to be spending that time with you - and doesn’t want you with [name]Laci[/name]. Throwing things at [name]Laci[/name] is just another way for her to show you her distaste for her new little sister.
[name]Every[/name] child is different so it’s very hard to say what will work best here - my sister found that ignoring my nephews horrible temper tantrums was the best course of action - and giving him age appropriate discipline when she caught him hurting his brother. On the other hand, my other sister stopped her daughter from biting constantly by biting her back.
I’d say in your situation you could try both. Try giving her time-outs when she pulls hair - or you can gently pull her hair when she does the same to you. When she’s putting [name]Laci[/name] in danger though, I don’t think that’s something you should ignore, or retaliate with a same action. I’d definitly take those items away from her, and do not give them back (especially items that she’s likely used to having, like the crayons). Then discipline her how you see fit - whether that is a time out, a light spanking, or whatever, but it should be an immediate thing, not “Wait until your father gets home” or “You can’t watch [name]Dora[/name] today”.
*All advice is solicited soley based on my sibling’s experiences - my baby is still perfectly well behaved inside me for the time being, lol
My girls have about 18 months between them and this issue came up for me too.My oldest daughter (who is names [name]Kaydence[/name]) did thinks like this, and we would put her in time. When she threw things at her sister, we would take the item and it was not returned the whole day. The bad behavior seemed to calm down once she realized that she would be punished. My girls are 7 and 5 now, and they sometimes argue and even fight. Now the punishment is that something they enjoy is taken away from them and/or they lose privilages. I’m sure if you start to use time out when she does something and you take away the toys/objects that she uses as weapons, then she will start to slow down on the bad behavior. Also, when she does something good for the baby, you should praise her. And try to involve her in ways to help with the baby, that way she doesn’t feel excluded. Good luck.