That Gut-Wrenching Feeling When You See YOUR Name

[name]Do[/name] you know what I’m talking about? Someone starts a thread on one of YOUR all-time favorite names, and you just roll your eyes and sigh. Like this morning, when I see “[name]Blythe[/name]?” as a headline followed by half a dozen other girls who all adore [name]Anne[/name] of [name]Green[/name] Gables and want to name their little girl [name]Blythe[/name], [name]JUST[/name] LIKE ME. My boyfriend has vetoed [name]Blythe[/name], but it doesn’t make me like it any less and doesn’t make it hurt anymore when I realize I’m not totally unique.

We nameberryites like to think we’re unique. That’s why we flock to names that are not being used by the masses. But, there are SO MANY of my favorite names which are adored and favorited by all of you.

Like [name]Ivy[/name], the name I would choose for myself if I were able to choose (but I would never change my name). Or [name]Blythe[/name]. Or anything with “[name]Ella[/name]” in it.

And so, like many of you probably do as well, I store a secret name deep in my heart which no one gets to know unless they have known me since I was twelve or they’ve been dating me for a year and a half. A name so rare, so special, so beautiful and exotic and unknown that it has captivated me from the moment I first saw it and it inspired me to keep it a secret from my boyfriend for ten months lest he not like it and I have to break up with him. [name]Do[/name] you, O nameberryite, like me, have such a name?

Well, if you do, I hope that it will not appear on the nameberry blog as one of a featured list like mine did yesterday. That combined with all of the Ivys growing all over here and [name]Blythe[/name] popping up today are making me just about want to throw in the towel and quit my nameberry addiction. Because I just don’t know if I can stand it anymore.

It’s not enough to not name my kid [name]Ava[/name] or [name]Lily[/name] (even though I so love [name]Lily[/name] – and [name]Ella[/name] as I just mentioned). I have to have a name that none of you know about either. And that’s getting harder and harder the bigger and better this awesome little corner of the web grows. Maybe it doesn’t matter, but the more I see people liking names I like, the more I feel compelled to find something even rarer.

I know how you feel. Suddenly, all of the names that I have loved for years are becoming popular! It sucks. If a name”s popular, I”ll deal with it ” but you get ANNOYINGLY popular names. I”ve gotten over having to have a one of a kind name, but it”s annoying that all the name”s I”ve loved for years are becoming popular.

Also, people who are suddenly choosing names like [name]Dorothy[/name] or [name]Clara[/name] or [name]Imogen[/name] aren”t really making that ”unique” of a choice. Those names may not be sickeningly popular yet, but they are on the rise and are very much name geek ”clicky” or name geek popular. I think they”re all coming in with a vengeance. Retro is very much the new rave. It”s comparable to all of the other trends.This is why I am now just going for what I truly love and am not worried about what others think anymore

I”m sorry this has happened to you. Maybe in your area that name won”t be that popular. Good luck!!!

You’re right, urbanangel, I should just go with what I truly love, trends be damned.

I know how you feel as well! I’m one of the people that posted on the [name]Blythe[/name]? post and as much as I love that other people share in my love it also made me kind of sigh and come to terms with the fact that other people love my names as well. I adore old fashioned names and some of my favorite names, like [name]Evelyn[/name], [name]Charlotte[/name] and [name]Audrey[/name] are becoming so popular! I guess I’ve come to terms though with the fact that no name is truly unique (unless it’s totally made up) and that if I name my child [name]Beatrice[/name] or [name]Rosemary[/name] and she comes upon another person with her name it’s not the end of the world.

I agree…go with names you love, not what everyone else loves!

I completely understand. In fact, my favourite names (the ones I would use) I don’t tell anyone, just in case.

The worst is when you love a name and then someone else loves it too and when they describe how they see that name it’s the opposite of what you imagine. For example, if I loved the name [name]Hayley[/name] (I don’t, but we’ll pretend) and I saw [name]Hayley[/name] as being a tomboy, a bit rebellious, dark hair and eyes, very strong willed. But then someone else viewed [name]Hayley[/name] as being very shy, blonde, very studious or even very loud, popular, a complete girly girl. Those images are the complete opposite of the feeling I get from the name and I’d worry I’d got it wrong and that everyone else, upon hearing the name, would imagine someone completely different to who I see my child as.

The same sort of applies with variants. If I loved [name]Theo[/name] and found other people that did then great. But when they then say “Oh I love [name]Theodore[/name] and [name]Theobald[/name]” too it ruins it a bit for me. Some names, just because they’re linked doesn’t mean they have the same feeling. I might feel [name]Theo[/name] is soft, friendly, hard working but [name]Theodore[/name] and [name]Theobald[/name] are very uptight, stuck up, full of themselves. But again, if they like these variants and think they have the same feeling as [name]Theo[/name] when they’re so different to me it ruins it for me because I so dislike the variants. (Although I think [name]Theodore[/name] is a nice name with the exact same feel as [name]Theo[/name]. But it applies for other names I like)

It has happened to me several times…and my heart falls to the floor everytime!

I know exactly how you feel! [name]Every[/name] time I think I’ve found the perfect name I suddenly see loads of posts about other people that like it as well. A few months back I read about a little boy named [name]Sebastian[/name] in Australia and fell in love with the name. I thought ‘no way will that become popular, people will still think it’s a Disney-only name.’ Now much to my dismay I’m seeing it crop up quite a bit.

I know it’s silly but I’m feeling this growing anxiety that every name I like is going to get really popular. I really wish there weren’t any trends at all, because if there weren’t an overload of the same 100 names each decade then we wouldn’t ever get names that feel too boring or too dated.

I do have a few secret names though (however the ones I had as a kid have been recently discovered by the mainstream), and as terrible as this is I never suggest any of my top names over the internet for fear they’ll catch on as well. (Though I have made a few exceptions to that rule for a couple of people).

The worst though is when I see one of my favourites being misspelled or being used for a girl (when it’s a boy name). [name]Adelyn[/name] would be a perfect example of this. I’ve loved the name [name]Adeline[/name] since I was a young girl so it saddens me to see all of the posts (on other sites, not really this one) about the name [name]Adelyn[/name] (which they’ve altered the pronunciation for slightly but that doesn’t ease the damage for me).

I don’t know if this will make you feel any better but I dislike the name [name]Blythe[/name]. I don’t know why, it is just odd sounding to me. I don’t think you need to worry about it becoming the next [name]Ava[/name] or [name]Emma[/name]. I think that [name]Blythe[/name] has appeal to a select group of people, but not the masses.

I have to say, I am a little relived to see that other people like the sames names as me. I want to give my kids names that are well accepted and will fit in with their peers. But at the same time I don’t want them to be one of the three [name]Ava[/name]'s in their class. So I look for a perfect balance, which can be difficult.

Bottom line, use something you love and your child will be proud to have as her name.

I know how you feel! If it makes you feel any better, [name]Pam[/name] wrote an article about the unidentified popularity of names amongst certain groups of people:

I’m nowhere near that socioeconomically privileged class she talks about, but I do think that we here at Nameberry fall into a “class” of our own with similar sophisticated and quirky tastes, hence why you’ll see more of the offbeat names you like here!

I don’t think that a name being popular on Nameberry means it will rocket to the top of the charts any time soon. Maybe it will become commonplace in 5 or 10 years? Or maybe I’m giving us too much credit for being ahead of the curve!

Who knows for sure, but I do think that the people who come here are different from the everyday general populace that will continue to stick to top-ten names for their babies.

Here’s hoping your (and my!) secret names continue on in relative obscurity and that we’re able to avoid the rising tides of popularity! :slight_smile:

:slight_smile: I read that article, and that is what fueled some of this angst when I realized that it was true! I love all the inspiration I get here, but I would never share my [name]SECRET[/name] names here, and I hope that I wouldn’t depend on others to help me make a real name decision. But, I love what people have said here about just going with what you love. At the end of the day, it’s your family, and we 'berries are probably far and few between.

This has sort of happened to me. Only, it seriously is MY name. I’m [name]Lily[/name], and when I was born, no one was named [name]Lily[/name]. As I’ve grown up, people always say, “Oh! I love your name! It’s so unique!”. Now, of course, it seems every other baby girl in [name]America[/name] is named [name]Lily[/name]. I’ve always LOVED my name, but now it seems so trendy and unoriginal. [name]Humph[/name].

Since I make a habit of liking the most obscure of the obscure names, I never get that feeling here on Nameberry.
On the Norwegian name board I’m on it’s another matter entirely! There I have two especially secret names (Ovidia and [name]Samson[/name]) and some others I try to hush down (Frimann, [name]Dorthea[/name], [name]Lovisa[/name], Olava) and one I just don’t mention because people would start screaming at me to find a different name to give my daughter or at least spell it ‘better’ (Emerentze).
As you can see, I have no problem sharing them here ^^
I do cringe every time I hear/read Ovidia mentioned somewhere, she’s my special name with ties to where I live and everywhere, plus [name]Ottilie[/name] is getting popular so I’m afraid people will look to other long O names in replacement and find my beloved Ovidia! That would devastate me!
[name]Samson[/name] is hush because he has ties to where I feel most at home (my grandmother’s) and I think he’s so awesome that I think people would easily love him if they were made aware of him.

I know the feeling, so to speak!

I know how you feel too!
My real name, [name]Tabatha[/name], pops up on here from time to time and it’s one of those things that I want to read… but I don’t want to read lol I want to hear people say good things about my name, but I don’t want it to become popular!! But, I don’t like reading it because then everyone suggests the nickname [name]Tibby[/name]! ew! I’d think someone was crazy if they called me that! lol

And I also have a “secret” name that I never mention because I love it so much! haha!

I actually don’t feel like that at all. I’m happy to see that people love some of the names I love. It’s different on nameberry, it’s a relatively small community, especially considering we’ve got people from all over the world! If this was a board of just my county or something then I would NOT be happy if everyone loved “my” names, but it’s not like that here. Many names that are popular here have never been in the top 1,000. [name]Blythe[/name], for instance.

I’ll be okay as long as [name]Peter[/name], [name]Thomas[/name], [name]Philip[/name], [name]Veronica[/name], [name]Anne[/name], and [name]Laura[/name] aren’t in the top ten. Otherwise I will feel despondent for a few days. But at some point in my live, at least one of these names will be in the top ten. Poo!

I don’t really feel like this. Nameberry is much different from the outside world. Most people are naming their kids [name]Addison[/name] and [name]Madison[/name] and [name]Kayleigh[/name] and [name]Nevaeh[/name], so I feel happy when I see my some of my favorite names on somebody’s list-- it means that somewhere, a child is getting a great name. Also, just because it’s on someone’s list of favorite names, it doesn’t mean they’ll necessarily name their child that.

I’m definitely going to stop reading this when I’m pregnant, so I don’t get tired of my favorite names!

Like so many others, I know how you feel, when you see a name that you love and think of as being your own (even if you haven’t used it yet) as a hot name suggestion, or when the threads bearing it in their title seems to multiply overnight.

But I have to say, I think one thing I’ve gained from this whole Nameberry experience, is that I’ve come to terms with names. I am not obsessed with having something that no one else has (what I used to strive for), and instead I just want a name I love and that’s special to me.

And if I have a daughter whom we name [name]Lucy[/name], the fact that it made the ‘elite list’ and that we know two other [name]Lucy[/name]-s amongst our friends’ babies can’t phase us, because that name has been special and different and important to my husband and I long before anyone else we know got pregnant.

Why should we change just because it’s also important to someone else, or even just because they chose it from a list?

And there’s only so many names you love before you start becoming a contrarian trying to find an unpopular name just because its unpopular and different instead of choosing it because you love it.

That leaves me thinking up names that I can’t love if I try ([name]Hortense[/name], and [name]Buck[/name] for example) and names that were popular from my OWN youth (going against the current antiquity trend with [name]Lindsay[/name] and [name]Chad[/name]) which leave me not only with distaste overall, but with too many negative associations from my childhood as well.

So, I’ve made my peace, and I’m ok if the name I love is being used by several people. Popularity rankings can be screwy because we often forget the math (1 out of 30 kids named [name]Mary[/name] versus 1 out of 100 named [name]Emma[/name], etc.), anyway.

After all, if I name I [name]LOVE[/name] becomes popular, at least it’s a lovely name . : )

I love seeing uncommon names that I like being seriously considered. What doesn’t feel so good is seeing my name. Not my favorite name, my name. For some reason, I almost burst out laughing every time I see my name on anyone else.