I’m crushing hard on [name_f]Anna[/name_f] right now. Like, really crushing. She’s more popular than my usual taste, but she’s so classic that it doesn’t bother me. And I adore [name_f]Annie[/name_f]!
I picture [name_f]Anna[/name_f] with a more whimsical, fun middle name — [name_f]Anna[/name_f] [name_u]October[/name_u] came to mind this morning and I actually think that could be a contender.
Here’s the dilemma: my estranged mother is named [name_f]Ann[/name_f]. There is a really deep, unpleasant history with her for most of my family (myself included) and I do not want my child’s name to necessarily honor her. However, I keep finding myself coming back to sweet [name_f]Anna[/name_f] (pronounced like [name_f]Ann[/name_f], not Ah-na).
Would this be a deal-breaker for you? Is [name_f]Anna[/name_f] usable? Normally, I’d feel strongly that it is a “no-go” name, but I’m surprised that I feel like I could be totally fine using it.
[name_f]Imo[/name_f] if you love the name so much and keep coming back to it then you should definitely use it! As soon as the baby is here, I’m sure that others will only associate the newborn with the name.
[name_f]Anna[/name_f] is a gorgeous name! I love how sweet and tranquil it sounds! Also, it has a playful, fun vibe as well. I think you should go for it!
I think that your unfortunate family history should not stop you from using a name you love. Using [name_f]Anna[/name_f] can be a unique way to let go of your past and move on to a beautiful phase in your life!
[name_f]My[/name_f] idea is that you keep coming back to this name, because maybe it’s your task to fill it with a new, lovely meaning.
Also, [name_f]Anna[/name_f] [name_u]October[/name_u] is a stunning combo!
Okay so I don’t want to rain on your parade especially as [name_f]Anna[/name_f] [name_u]October[/name_u] is lovely but personally I feel that most people would assume you named your daughter after your mother. I honestly think [name_f]Anna[/name_f] would be a wonderful tribute if I didn’t know the backstory regarding your mother and would be gushing about how perfect [name_f]Anna[/name_f] would be. I do get the concept of the name not being an honour unless that’s your intention however I do not believe the rest of the world would see that way. I think most people would just assume you chose [name_f]Anna[/name_f] to honour your mother [name_f]Ann[/name_f] which if that’s something you don’t want I wouldn’t go ahead with using [name_f]Anna[/name_f] despite [name_f]Anna[/name_f] being such a lovely name.
Sorry for raining on your parade
Have you thought of [name_f]Alice[/name_f]? [name_f]Alice[/name_f] [name_u]October[/name_u] would be sweet
That is a no-go. 100%. It will look like you’re honoring her, no matter what you say, no questions asked. I know most other berries will be saying that [name_f]Ann[/name_f] is a common enough name it will be fine but I disagree with that strongly, especially among people who know your mother.
To me, it would be a bit of a dealbreaker, but honestly, that you feel fine using it is what’s important. Moreover, it could be seen as creating new and better associations with something:)
I think if you and your immediate family can love [name_f]Anna[/name_f] past the association with your mother it will work. You may get some interesting comments from your extended family however but if you’re ok with that then I think it could work.
I think it depends on your feelings towards the name and if you’d be feeling awkward introducing her to people or not. And there’s always the option to say “no, we just loved the name” if people ask you and then that’s that!
I don’t think it’s a deal-breaker. I would hate for your mother to take away another thing you love – if people ask if Anna’s an honor, you can say, “We actually just loved the name!” and not broach it any further. Let your mother believe what she wants.
It makes me sad when people can’t choose the names they love – Anna’s a devastatingly beautiful name, a perfect blend of strong and delicate. Plus, the nn Annie will always be a charmer! Anna to me is a girl, wide-eyed and haloed by candlelight, wearing a wool hat and gazing up at the night sky.
[name_f]Anna[/name_f] is beautiful classic! Gentle and elegant, I understand why you keep coming back to it.
I think you should go for it, even though I get why you hesitate. Like other people pointed out before, the fact that [name_f]Anna[/name_f] is close to [name_f]Ann[/name_f] doesn’t mean it has to be an honor name for your mom. The important is that you love the name and you know why you choose it
I do not think you can use the name [name_f]Anna[/name_f] without it being a tribute to your mother. If you were on good standing and then wanted to [name_u]Anne[/name_u] your daughter after her then I would say go for it. I just don’t think it will work without getting the wrong attention across for people. If you like [name_f]Anna[/name_f] what about a name that has [name_f]Anna[/name_f] in it and using [name_f]Anna[/name_f] as a nickname
I think [name_f]Anna[/name_f] is a gorgeous name! I think if you love it you should use it - as long as it doesn’t cause you pain or bring up tough memories.
Using the name may bring you more positive associations. For me personally I don’t think I could.
I think it would be better to not use it. Not only would other people always assume it was an honor, it may bring up negative feelings to have to use the name all the time. Even if you think you’re fine with it, it’s hard to know that for sure until you actually have to use it. It could stir up bad memories and that’s not something you would ever want associated with your child. And you could be fine with it one day, and then not so fine the next. Even if you’ve moved on, sometimes even the littlest things can still just bring up painful memories and put you in a blah mood, so it wouldn’t be worth it to risk feeling bad about the name at some point. There are literally billions of names out there so I think it’s better to just find a different one you love, it’s not like it’s super limiting to err on the safe side and throw out one.
(For reference, I have a degree in psychology so I have some education on trauma and my reply is based on that. No matter how “over it” you think you are, the brain never fully heals from trauma and I think it’s best to never relate that to your child. This opinion is based on my psychology knowledge, not just what I wish I could say.)
[name_f]Anna[/name_f] [name_u]October[/name_u] is stunning! I think it shouldn’t matter what other people assume about the name. Go with what you feel is right, whether you use it or not.
Not a dealbreaker! I think of it as you using a name you truly love and not giving your estranged mom get in the way of that! If you love the name, perfect!
I have an [name_f]Anna[/name_f] too, and I adore the name and get compliments all the time on her name. Good luck with whatever you decide!
I am surprised by how much I love [name_f]Anna[/name_f] [name_u]October[/name_u] - neither of these names would ever interest me individually, but together I find them so sweet and whimsical and precocious!
That being said, I do think choosing the name means people assuming it’s in honor of your mother. So for me, the deal-breaker isn’t so much a question of whether you can get past the association, but whether you can be okay with the association being everyone else’s first thought. If you think it will be painful or unpleasant to have to constantly refute those assumptions, I would choose something different.
I really do hate to give that advice, because I can understand the feeling of longing to use a name you absolutely adore, but having to let it go due to negative associations. For me, it all comes down to whether my love for the name outweighs the consequences of using it.
